Posted 8/9/2008 8:56 PM (GMT -6)
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone here. Lately I've been in a pretty decent flare up, and sitting at the computer is a luxury I can only afford in small amounts.
I've been getting lost in books here lately, or movies, anything I can do to put my mind elsewhere. I've also been spending as much time as I can playing with our puppy. It's amazing how having a puppy come and nibble on you, or attack you with kisses just turns your mood around. It's also hard to be sad and dumpy when you have two dogs following you around adoring you throughout the day. Even the cat forcing me to pet him, and climbing up hubby at night (for some reason he knows not to walk on me) to be petted by me makes me smile. I've noticed my animals seem to be tuned into me, when I'm really bad our puppy Anja just comes and lays her head across my neck, the cat will come purring rubbing on me, and our other dog just cuddles.
Anyways I got on a rant there - thank all of you, so much. You here at HealingWell are like family to me. I feel that I belong here, in a way that I think it is very hard for us with chronic pain to belong anywhere else. I haven't been posting much lately, but I read whenever I can, and occasionally a post will grab me that I have to respond to, but I'm always thinking of you. I also know there are people out there that read, and never post. Whether I am active or not, you guys are a comfort to me.
I can log in here, and know that I'm not alone. I don't have to put on my happy face, I don't smile through the pain. I know that we understand each other here in a way that it's hard for people with chronic pain to be understood by the rest of the world. You guys know what it's like to hurt every second of every minute, without pause. I can be "me" here, and it's okay. I can be angry, or mad, or sad, or happy, and I know you guys get it. It helps to know that I'm not alone, that it may seem like I am alone in the world, just me and my pain, but you guys get it, and you know how it feels.
None of knows exactly what the other is going through, but we all come together here in ways that in the real world we never would. Age, sex, race, status, location, all of that in the real world would keep us from running into each other, for whatever reason, and here, we come together and support each other. It's amazing to think that people I have never met, never spoken to, can touch my heart in the way you do here. I cheer for you on good days, and I cry for you on bad. There are days I can just read, and realize I know exactly what you mean. I also know that you know how I feel. You might be on the other side of the planet, but you get it.
That's it, I just wanted to make sure that you guys know that I appreciate everything you do. I figured for those that haven't seen the opening to say thank you, can say it here too. Every single one of you has helped me in ways that family, and doctors have never been able to. You've helped me because I know I'm not alone. It is so easy to feel alone when everyone around you seems so "whole", and yet I feel like a pile of broken pieces. But here, I'm just one more pile of broken pieces in a room full of them, I'm still broken, but I know I'm not the only one.
"When we come to the edge of the light we know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, of one thing we can be sure; either God will provide something solid to stand on... or we will be taught to fly.'"
Dx: Degenerative Disc Disease, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, IBS-d, Ruptured & Fused L4-L5-S1, Bulging/Ruptured L3-L4, Sciatica, Neuropathy, Costochondritis, Reflux, Gastric Bypass Surgery 12/6/07
Rx: Kadian 50mg - every 12 hours, Percocet 5/325 - up to 4 daily, Baclofen 10mg - 3 daily, Amitriptylene 200mg - at bedtime, Prevacid Solutabs - 1 daily, various vitamins.