I know where you are coming from when you say you stay home and live in a shell. Been there and done that. Even now, probably depression related, sometimes I do have to push myself to leave the house other than going to a drs office. Much of this stems from the crohns disease, as it creates major bathroom issues that can make it impossible to leave the house. That in itself caused panic attacks from hell. Thank goodness I am passed all that now. I do know I feel much better mentally to get away from home & get some different scenery. I couldn't for a long time go anywhere due to pain and you know you can get so use to that scenario, that after the pump surgery, it took me a bit to make the change. Its kind of like when you work, you do housework at nite or at least I did, same with laundry. After finally having to stop work I still do my laundry at night. I am a true creature of habit,lol.
Oh yes, the Methadone, yes, you are so right about it. A very good drug for some with chronic pain, but a very difficult drug to get off of. Definetly a long term use drug and not a short term one. It was a miracle drug for a neighbor of mine, when nothing else worked. It was one of the many drugs I was tried on and had terrible side effects from it.
By far these days my best tonic is a three year old named Cole. He is my grandbaby, and when we have him, I totally forget everything. He is the love of my life and my reason to get out of bed every day and keep going, no matter what. I never knew being a grandparent would be anything like this thats for sure. We do have him alot and we feel very fortunate to be able to spend the time with him that we do. Oh yes, by nightfall my body sometimes is screaming at me, but thats ok, tomorrow will be another day and who knows it may be with Cole again. Cole is very receptive to me when he is here. When I fell a few months ago, I was having a really time of things. A few times he heard me moan and he would look at me with those innocent eyes and would say" it will be ok Gran". I would always tell him he was right it would be ok. Pretty incredible for a three year old.
I sure hope they can get to the bottom of your kidney situation. My kidneys went haywire when I was hospitized for severe cellulitis. They dried me out too much from diuretcis and got the kidneys to acting up. Prior to that admission, 2 months earlier I passed a kidney stone in the middle of the night. Talk about pain, wow that one was a killer. I was on Fentanyl patches for a while and when they increased me to the 100's that messed with the kidneys so I had to get off of them.
By the way have you talked to Tom lately? I am afraid we have hijacked the original post to him, lol. But, I don't think Tom will hold it against us. lol.
I need to get off here, my time sitting at the puter is limited because of swollen legs & feet. Hugs to all, Susie