Hello All :)
I use a smiley face to help me deal with the everyday pressure to be "OK". To not show how I really feel... my face says something completely different than my body and what's happening in my mind because of my pain.
As I sit and write this post with every stroke of the keys brings a twitch of pain thats felt in almost every inch of my forearms and hands. I've had this problem for a few years now, all because of a work injury.
You see, I work in an automotive plant. I am in assembly. "You" sit in your car and close that door shut without a thought. I used to put those components on "your" doors. I can't do that anymore, along with golf (which I absolutely love), laundry, household chores, driving is difficult (BUT I refuse to loose that too), skiing in the winter... the list of things that "hurt" me everyday is too long. I should just write the things that don't hurt me. It might be shorter.
I'm here because obviously, I can't deal with this alone anymore. Please, don't get my wrong my husband is incredible with listening and even performs the massages on my arms everyday but he doesn't "get it". He will see me do things with my hands and wonder "how can you do that but yesterday you couldn't" and I can't fault him for thinking that. Its not that I can do it now - I just get so frustrated that I just do it with pain because I am tired of asking for help - does that make sense to him - not really. He would rather me just ask but before this injury I would have been proud to say I am a 26 yr old female that can take of "crap" herself. I can do it. I will do it. (This is what has gotten me into this predictatment in the first place)
I first noticed my pain in April 2006. I reported it to my work and started physio at my work. Yes, you just read that correctly. My place of employment has so many workers comp injuries that they now have a physio department at work that employees can use. Would I ever use this service again, NOPE! At the end of the day, my employer is signing their cheques too. I was never given the oportunity to rest. I continued doing the work that was killing me. I was too stubborn to stop and they didn't want me to stop either. I always thought my pain would go away and it would just be "job hardening" -- this is a very popular term used by my employer to make you think that your pain is normal. Knowing what I know now - I should have stopped working my arms and started to let them heal.
I just recently picked up "The Trigger Point Therapy Wookbook - Second Edition" for my husband and I. It wasn't a doctor that recommended this book to me it was a yoga instructor. I have lost all faith in our healthcare system. No one seems to be able to help me. I guess thats part of learning that I have to help myself.
Thanks for reading. I just needed to vent a little ... I'm sure there will be more to come, but the twitching is starting to really burn in the forarms so its time to stop.
I've finally learned to stop... and I'm trying to get better at the learning to ask...