They think I'm an addict!

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Pamela Neckpain
Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted 10/3/2008 12:55 PM (GMT -6)   
My very nice relatives do not believe in Opiod medicaton.
They think that anyone who takes it is an "Addict"
If I didn't take it, I would probably die. (Bad pain - 6 years)
I've been through Pain Management and now go to a Pain Doctor.
I say "My pain could be compared to Diabetes. If a Diabetic
didn't take their medication, they would be very ill and
maybe die." Does that say it well enough?
Anybody have any ideas?
I hate it that Chronic Intractible Pain
is not understood -- some doctors
don't even understand it! Most people do not understand
it all.
I believe the Opiod that I take would not get any addict
a high. I take Methadone.
Pamela Neckpain is not having a good day. Is not even
reading the posts. Hope everyone is well. I'll be back soon.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 10/3/2008 1:53 PM (GMT -6)   
My best advice would be to accept that they won't understand and change the subject. Right now you're under enough stress. At a later time if you want to give some of them information to read - and only the ones who you think will truly consider it - you can do it. Right now, focus on your health and your husband. Tell them you don't want to talk about it right now!


Pamela Neckpain
Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted 10/3/2008 1:58 PM (GMT -6)   
You are a friend.
That is good advice.
I will handle it the way you suggested.
We are both under a lot of stress right now
Wish we were neighbors!
Pamela :-)

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 243
   Posted 10/3/2008 6:35 PM (GMT -6)   
And once you're no longer under such stress, and you're ready to make your point very clear...

Every time you spend time with them, near the beginning, start singing "The wheels on the bus" or the Barney song or the Juicy Fruit gum jingle - or any other really annoying tune that you can get "stuck" in their head for the day. Any time they're about to do something enjoyable, quietly hum the same tune. In the middle of conversations, throughout meals, at interesting points in movies, and other random times - just hum it quietly, and make sure you're close enough for them to hear it, but not so loudly that you look like an ass.

When they finally get irritated enough to ask you to knock it off, ask them how they'd feel if that "tune" were pain and someone suggested they were less of a person for doing the only thing that would stop the singing.

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/3/2008 6:58 PM (GMT -6)   
I can so RELATE..........
I bet that they realy would get irrated by the tunes mentioned above lol

Give it a try

Wishing you better days

  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
                                    Donate at
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns 
                                    FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 275
   Posted 10/3/2008 7:00 PM (GMT -6)   

Bionic, what an idea! I have used other analogies, but that one is beautiful.  I can't wait to try it. Thanks

Pamela, I'm sorry you have family that is not supportive, but I have the same thing with my husbands family.  In fact they have told him that he should leave me because he could do better.  They had spent time with us and felt that I wasn't as bad as I say, when I was trying so hard to not let it show so they had a good time when they were here.  Gotta love family!


Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 191
   Posted 10/3/2008 10:16 PM (GMT -6)   
God I so love the barney song and as a way to get it trough to people...I remember when my kids were young and they used to watch barney all the time and how I used to sleep eat and dream about Barney lol...what a great idea!!!!
For me if its a woman or one of my girls I use there periods as an expamle and how they feel when they get it and how much it drains you and how on the first day you can hardly get out of bed and then I tell them to X that by about a 1000 and they have that everyday all day and it never goes away....Usu shuts up the woman right away.
People are inhertany ignorant though when it comes to anything they themselves have not experinced.  We all are, I know for myself altho I could simpathize before my acc. I didnt really have a true understanding of it intil i went through it myself so I just try and ingnor those people, its really not worth it at the end of the day to let them get to you, you have enough to worry about on any given day. Plus you are your husband are the only ones that pay your bills take care of what you need to take care of and you have to live with each other so what others think really doesnt mean a hill of beans.  Opinions are like ***holes everyones has one...but thats all they are is opinions, its not like there God and are gonna strike you dead for not following there rules on what they think its right or wrong.
Another thing I do , I just smile and say I really hope you never have to find out what its like but if you do I will be here if you need to talk.  That usu shuts them up as well because it for one puts the responablity back on them to deal with and 2 it shows you have compassion and you are willing to do what they wont.
I really hope you just let it go and worry about you and your husband Pamela you are the only ones that really count.
Take Care

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16578
   Posted 10/4/2008 2:20 AM (GMT -6)   
Pam, this subject makes my blood boil even now a few yrs later. When I first started having the severe pain again I was sent to my pain dr. I have a terrible time tolerating any type of medication, not just pain meds. I once became toxic on blood pressure medication and spent 2 weeks in the hospital. To make a long story short I was put on opiods and of course was having all kinds of problems with each & every one. My husband decided I was an addict and took it upon himself to call my daughter and son to let hem know he was having all kinds of problems with me because I was an addict from pain pills. Now keep in mind that not one time had he ever gone to the dr with me, not one time asked what the dr said was wrong with me, he did not want to know. Oh almost forgot, he also told them I was blowing all my money. Yeah right, I am on SS and have so much to blow.

My son is a very anti medication person simply because he does not like to take pills. Also, coming from my husband this had to be true. Although, my son had no idea what was going on with me. My son came to my house one Sat morning and he was so hateful to me, I finally looked at him and said I do not know what is going on with you, but you will not come to my house and speak to me hatefully like you are now, in fact you need to leave. When you think you can be civil with me, then you may come back. He stomped out of the back gate-he had never been told to leave before. Not long, here he comes back in the gate, I was sitting on the patio and he blurted out what my husband called and told him. I told him I said hold on, I am going to kill 2 birds with one stone. I told him I was going to bring his Dad in on this.

To make a long story short I set both of them straight real quick and I mean I cut to the bone. I told each of them if they had a question about me to ask me. I told my son right in front of his Dad, that his Dad is ignorant to any of my health problems because his Dad was not interested in my problems, I mean I did not leave a rock unturned. By time I got done with them, my son looked at his Dad and told him how disgusted and disappointed in him he was for lying about his Mom. My husband pretty much raised my son. Very good dad to my kids, lousy husband. His problem was he had health issues for quite a while and everyone always paid alot of attention to him. well, all of a sudden I am sick and he was no longer in the spotlight and he was down right jealous, which is totally absurb, but he really was. Oh, I told him this in front of my son. After this no more crap from any of them. My daughter was not a problem because she knew the trouble I was having with meds.

All I can say Pam is do not let them get to you, its hard I know. Consider the source and the ignorance involved here. You know about your illness and so does your husband and no one else counts. In fact honey, its none of their business. I would not let them engage me in any conversation about your medical issues. Tell them that subject is off limits and walk away. You could talk and explain all day long and they still would not get it. They are not wortg your breath. I agree with who ever said hum the Barney

Hope you are feeling better. Hugs, Susie

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 10/4/2008 3:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Pam I have 5 diffirent DR. dealing with my health problems.So thay agreed that my reg. DR. would handle all medicine.Just last month my surgen who knows every thing that I have been through in the last 8 months asked me if I was still on my fentanyl patch and the once in a while codien.When I told him yes he said that I needed to try to get off of them,That I did not want to live my life on narcotics.All that I could think was is he crazy.With out them I am in to much pain to function as a half way normal person.I would rather take the meds. and be part of my famialys life then be drug free curled up in my room trying to hide from my pain .So ignore everyone else and do what you have to do to get releaf from your pain.
Lost half of my small intestine, Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression

Pamela Neckpain
Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted 10/4/2008 6:22 AM (GMT -6)   
At 4 AM I awaked (demon pain, of course) I came in here and read Bionic
Woman. Totally creative. Fun. I have decided on the Barney Song, Bionic. I
will start if this subject ever ever comes up with those folks again again. It's Perfect.
The thing that is so disturbing to me is that these folks are good Christians.
They built the church even! My pain seems to conflict with their religion. Odd.

I read everybody's posts and felt all warm and fuzzy inside. I guess not "fuzzy"
Feeling fuzzy might not be too good. Warm works.

Thanx all. I laughed & cried my way through the posts. What a surprise!

Pamela . :-)
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