Posted 10/16/2008 9:45 PM (GMT -6)
PAlady, Thank you SO much for your kind words and for caring so much! I do have a lot of anxiety (UNDERSTATEMENT). I'm sure everyone here has a lot of stresses & worries. My greatest worry is that I'll soon find myself homeless and/or too weak from the pain & other health issues to be able to get out to find a place of my own. I know I'm an emotional burden to my mom & sdad. Sadly, their health is not good and I find myself feeling sorry for them and there is just no rest. I can't keep on doing all things to meet their needs, when my own health is failing so miserably and so fast. I still find myself being afraid of my sdad, stemming from past & present abuses. Bottom line is that he doesn't like me & is emotionally abusive. Yet he flips when I talk of getting a place of my own. He's always felt as though he owns me and even now that I'm 47, he's still so domineering, cruel & emotionally abusive toward me. My mom gets very angry w/ me if I say anything. I'm basically a prisoner here in this house & I can't see a way out. I've moved several times (when I was younger & healthy), even out of State 3 times, to get away & try to find peace, but always seem to end up back here. I don't mean to complain...I am greatful I'm not on the streets. I pray hard for peace, privacy, pain control and hope & pray for help and friends.
Sorry I rambled so much! My thoughts & prayers are with you all.