Oh ry, I am so sorry to hear about your friend!! A good friend of mine just lost her dog today, who I happened to be close with as well (I dog-sat for her for many years). So I can relate to the crying/not know if you are crying for yourself or for the person, or for everyone and everything! When she called me up this morning to tell me that she was putting the dog down today I started crying. I think it was for her, for the dog, for me, and because it reminded me of losing my best friend (a horse) last year and losing my grandfather a couple years ago, whom I was also very close to & both wounds are still so fresh.
I wish I was nearby & could give you a big hug, but electronic long distance hugs will have to do for now. Take some time now & get a good cry out & then try to remember all the good times with your friend & how he wouldn't want you to be sad. I think that death is one of the hardest things that we have to deal with, especially when someone passes away unexpectedly when it should not have been their time to go. Life can be so unfair. I know that it isn't easy at all, but I am also a firm believer that those we have lost still remain a part of us. They may be gone from the physical, but they are still with you in a spirt form. He'll be watching over you & his family, and you will see him again.
Again, I am so sorry my friend. Sending you lots of big hugs and prayers for you and his family. Please don't give up, keep fighting, better days have got to be coming your way. You sure deserve them. ((((((Ryand)))))))