Posted 1/14/2009 3:49 AM (GMT -6)
Terrible. Your situation is terrible. All I can say at this point is NEVER be alone
with this man. Watch your back. Always. He sounds dangerous.
I haven't heard the term "loaded" for about twenty years. He must be old. (older?)
He's about one hundred times worse than my pharmacist and he truly has power
over you.
I don't know what endometriosis is. (I can guess) I'll bet anything he knows that
you have it from your doctor reports. Does your doctor prescribe for that condition?
No one should be asked to do a urine screen in front of other people! That'
humiliation. It's particularly bad if a MAN asks a WOMAN. However it's done it's
just awful.
I'm almost ready to say ... get an attorney.
Hello-Kitty ... He's just bad.
Pamela
Posted 1/14/2009 7:12 AM (GMT -6)
Nothing makes me more mad than someone who is in no pain going on about opioids and drugs, its such a shame you have to see him I feel like using him as a punching bag, this complaint really gets me going, Ive had to justify to people why im on what im on and I wouldnt take a thing if I could manage without it , we are not all the same and our pain levels are dif to.  Anyways im sorry you have to see him , dont let him get you down, youve done nothing wrong.    sue2z

Fibromyalgia, ulcerative colonitus, arthritus, bi-polar
norspan patch, valium, prothiedon, lyrica

Posted 1/14/2009 7:42 AM (GMT -6)

Wow! Sorry to hear about this jerk! You are in a position where there is nothing you can do.
You have to learn to be made of rubber! There are MILLIONS of Jerks in this world, and there is nothing you can do about it.

Listed below are some things that may help during your sessions.
I feel your pain! My life has been full of bosses that are jerks like him or worse!

  1. Recognize that impossible people exist; you will eventually encounter them. There isn't a thing you can do about it. The first step is all about facing reality: If you think you might be dealing with an impossible person, you're probably right. When in doubt, proceed as instructed below. The headaches you save will be your own.
  2. Be aware that some people simply aren't compatible. Sometimes, a person who gets along with everybody else quite well is an impossible person for you personally. Most relationships between people contain many shades of gray, but some people simply mix as well as oil and water. It is common to hear your impossible person proclaim that "Everyone else likes me." This is an attempt to shift the blame to you, so don't buy it. It doesn't matter how this person interacts with others. The fact is, the way the two of you interact together is terrible. Remember that blame never changes the facts. To counter this, tell them that it is a logical fallacy, or specifically an *Ad hominem.
  3. Understand that it's not you, it's them. This can be surprisingly difficult, considering that impossible people have complete mastery of blaming skills. If you're dealing with an impossible person, you're probably being told on a regular basis that every conceivable thing is your fault. It isn't. As the saying goes, "It takes two to tango." Chances are, the more often they blame you, the more they themselves are actually at fault. Keep in mind that this is not to be used as a way to blame them. Blaming is what impossible people do, and they do it well. Instead, you are only facing the facts, for your own sake. That being said, here's a simple way to tell: If you accept responsibility for your own faults and resolve to improve yourself, it's probably not you. Remember, impossible people can do no wrong.
  4. Defuse them. Stay calm, and don't spit angry words at them, whatever you do don't cry - this will only stimulate them to do more of the difficult behavior. Try ignoring them. Try looking away or starting another conversation, with a totally different topic. Find something you can agree with or praise them for. Do not, under any circumstances, join them in bashing, blaming or complaining. Do not bad talk to their face or to anyone else because then you are sinking down to their level. Add something positive. Redirect by focusing on something, anything, positive in the situation or in the conversation. Whatever you do just stay calm!
  5. Realize that you cannot deal with impossible people the same way you deal with everyone else. In some ways, they need to be treated like children. Give up all hope of engaging these folks in any kind of reasonable conversation. It will never happen, at least with you. Remember what happened the last fifty times you tried to have a civilized discussion about the status of your relationship with this person. Chances are, every such attempt ended in you being blamed for everything. Decide now to quit banging your head against a brick wall.
  6. Protect your self-esteem. If you have regular dealings with someone who tries to portray you as the source of all evil, you need to take active steps to maintain a positive self-image. Remind yourself that this person's opinion is not necessarily the truth. Understand that oftentimes, impossible people are particularly "fact-challenged." If the attacks have little basis in raw fact, dismiss them. You can't possibly be as bad as this person would like you to believe you are. Do not defend yourself out loud, however. It will only provoke the impossible person into another tirade.
  7. Guard against anger. If it helps, consider the fact that your anger is actually a precious gift to the impossible person. Anything you do or say while angry will be used against you over and over again. Impossible people tend to have amazing memories, and they will not hesitate to use a nearly endless laundry list of complaints from the past against you. Five years from now, you could be hearing about the angry remark you made today (which you didn't even mean in the first place). Impossible people will seize anything that provides them the opportunity to lay blame like it was gold.
  8. Give up self-defense. Understand very clearly that you cannot beat these kinds of people; they're called "impossible" for a reason. In their minds, you are the source of all wrongdoing, and nothing you can say is going to make them consider your side of the story. Your opinion is of no consequence, because you are already guilty, no matter what.
  9. Understand that eventually, you and the impossible person will have to part ways. Whether they are a friend, a boss, a parent, even a spouse, the time to leave will eventually manifest. Maintaining a relationship with an impossible person is, literally, impossible. If you can't (or won't) make a physical departure immediately, make a mental one. In your mind, you've already left the relationship. The only thing left to do is wait for physical reality to reflect that fact.
  10. Avoid letting the impossible person make you into a "clone" of them. If you aren't careful, you could find yourself adopting much of the offender's own behavior, even if you aren't voluntarily trying. Eschew blame entirely by understanding that this is just the way the other person is. These things define the impossible person's actions, and nothing you do can change any part of their past.
  11. Be a manager. Until it is over, your task in the relationship is to manage the impossible person, so that he or she deals less damage to you. As a manager, your best resources are silence (it really is golden in some cases such as this), humoring the other, and abandoning all hope of "fixing" the impossible person. Impossible people do not listen to reason. They can't (and even if they could, they wouldn't). You can't convince them that they have any responsibility for the problems between you. They don't recognize (or if they did, wouldn't try to improve) their flaws for a very logical reason; they don't have any flaws. You must understand and manage this mindset without casting blame and without giving in to anger. It's far easier said than done, and you will slip from time to time, but as time goes on, you'll become a better manager.
  12. Realize that impossible people engage in projection. Understand that you are going to be accused of much (or all) of this behavior yourself. If your impossible person gets a look at this text, to them it will look like a page about you. Prepare yourself for the fact that the impossible person's flaws and failings will always be attributed to you. Remember, in their minds, you are at fault for everything! They will have an endless supply of arguments to support this, and if you make the mistake of encouraging them, they will be more than happy to tell you why you are the impossible person, and how ironic it is that you are under the mistaken impression that it is them.
  13. Be the opposite of them: a possible person. Live as an example of tolerance, patience, humility, and even some kindness (as difficult as that may be)--because these are all the things that the impossible person is not or not very good at. We are all influenced by the people in our environment--they don't have to be perfect all the time and neither do you. Give respect because you are human. If you don't receive respect, that's -sadly- their problem. Give understanding, and you get understanding. Ultimately this sort of behavior is probably the only thing that might possibly get through to them. They may not change in everything, but you can safely expect a difference.

The art of life is the art of avoiding pain; and he is the best pilot, who steers clearest of the rocks and shoals with which it is beset.
Jefferson, Thomas
1743-1826 Third President of the USA

Posted 1/14/2009 10:21 AM (GMT -6)
Hi Kitty,

So sorry to hear that you are sick! Sore throats are such torture! One time I got a really bad systemic infection that concentrated in my throat & my throat almost completely closed up from swelling. My doc put my on these antibiotics that were literally about an inch long (they looked like cow pills, and I know cow pills since I work for a vet!). It was nearly impossible to swallow them & one of the most painful experiences I have even had. It took me several weeks to get over it, so I can definitely sympathize with your situation! I hope you start feeling better now that you are on antibiotics! Could you have some kind of deficit in your immune system? That might explain why you keep getting strep.

And, wow, your councilor is such a jerk! You don't deserve to be treated that way & he should know better, being a sort of healthcare professional! I know you said that you have to have therapy for your insurance, but would it be possible to switch to another group session with another councilor? You shouldn't have to put up with this!

Skeye
Posted 1/14/2009 11:32 AM (GMT -6)
Kitty I don't understand what you mean about having to attend this group counseling in order to get your ins to pay for your meds? What is that all about. Why can't you call your ins and ask for a different one, but stay where you are until you can go to a new one that way you would not have to pay out any $. I just don't understand whats going on here, sorry. Hugs, Susie

Posted 1/14/2009 12:07 PM (GMT -6)
Oops forgot this one. Kitty strep is really bad and I feel for you. Its awful, I have had it before. Sure hope your kiddos do not get it. Usually drs here will put our kids on an antibiotic to keep from getting it from other family members since its so contagious. Hugs, Susie

Posted 1/14/2009 12:58 PM (GMT -6)
Kitty,
Endo can cause really bad back pain. What are you doing to treat the endo (if anything). I have it as well and it can be a killer when it comes to pain. Since I still have an ovary, I cycle every month and around what would have been "that" time, I get really bad lower back pain and horrible GI issues.

Hysterectomy at 25

4 laproscopic surgeries since 24

Cervical stenosis in C3 & C4

_____________________________________________

 

Meds - percocet  3x day : nexium : xanax :

Supplements : calcium : magenesium :potassium : milk thistle : fish oil : B complex : vit E

____________________________________________

In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children. The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted. The result is unruly children and childish adults. ~Thomas Szasz 

Posted 1/14/2009 1:15 PM (GMT -6)
Sorry to here about the strep. My kids and I passed it back and forth for about 9 months. I wish you a speedy recovery. I am so sorry you must go through this every month. This abuse plain and simple He should not be allowed to practice. I wish nothing bad on this person but Karma does have a way evening the score.

jennifer
Posted 1/14/2009 1:45 PM (GMT -6)
Good words, Jim.
Thank you from, I believe, all of us.
Pamela
Posted 1/14/2009 4:50 PM (GMT -6)
Kitty,
There's much I want to say but have to temper my words for lots of reasons. But I have some of the same questions straydog did, although I think I might have a hunch what may be going on. Is this some kind of addictions treatment program? Is this a specific group for chronic pain patients? (I doubt it from the sounds of that "therapist"). I also wondered if you know the credentials of this "therapist" - if you have anything with his name on it, there should be some letters after it such as doctors have "M.D." I wonder what his qualifications are. It makes me sad and angry because this gives all therapists a bad name and there are far more good ones than bad. But I suspect this guy's qualifications and training are limited at best.

Right now it sounds like you need to get well from the strep. That's pretty heavy duty. Then maybe you can post more about these other issues. Right now it's probably best not to challenge this guy, but if you're still stick you likely could get a doctor's note - especially with such a contagious illness - to get you out of the group session.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this.

PaLady
Posted 1/14/2009 6:05 PM (GMT -6)
Can you start the process to get a new counselor/group while still attending your current one? If so, call your insurance for a new referral, but keep attending your current group for the next 3 months & then switch as soon as your insurance gets all the details lined up & taken care of.

hope you feel better soon,
frances
Posted 1/15/2009 1:49 AM (GMT -6)
Hello Everyone, sorry I didn't post earlier I have been at my dad's house all day trying to catch up with laundry. Well.....Since Suboxone is ONLY FDA approved for "opiod Addiction" it is ONLY prescribed through my insurance (state insurance) when it's used in conjuntion with addiction therapy which is 9 hours a week of drug classes which I hated at first but it did make me look at drug addicts in a whole other light and now makes me want to someday work with them like a nurse in a inpatient rehab, BUT I personally know I am not a drug, but I'm only taking the Suboxone to taper off of pain meds due to my choice. And the other therapist there is worse from what I hear, Actually when I first started we had a very nice young lady that everyone loved and never treated anyone bad but after a few sessions with her she decided she wasnt ready for Intensive Outpatient treatment quite yet and left to do other classes for people who are in a lower class. And I dont know who else is DASA approved, because my insurance wants the place to be DASA approved through the state, I'm not sure what that's about, but thats how it works. And becasue I have state insuance I have to go to this other place and make an appointment to talk to them and they are running 3 months behind, it's just crazy. Actually it makes me feel sorry for people who really need treatment right away and have to wait that long, it should be available because once a drug addict decides they're ready to be clean it should be available ASAP because addicts will quickly change their minds. The goverment has too many issues. I'm suppose to go tomorrow morning but i've made up my mind that I'm staying home to rest because I have to drive to my doctor's appointment on friday morning which is a hour and half each way. If he wants to say I'm hiding because I'm loaded, then fine, I will be loaded, but only on ice cream and gatoraide lol. My doctor does drug tests at every appointment, so the doctor will see for himself I'm not doing anything on friday, so I'm not too worried, and I do plan on showing him the discharge papers from the hospial so he will know that I am sick so when he gets a letter from my wonderful councelour he will already know the truth.



-hellokitty
I have Migraines, Pancreatic Divisum, Severe lower back pain, Fibromyalgia, Asthma from Chronic Bronchitis
Meds: Suboxone 8mg 3xday, Cymbalta 60mg @ night,
Zanaflex 2-4 mg @ night as needed, Treximet as needed,
Ventolin Albuterol Inhaler as needed which seems to be everyday.
Been on Diability since I was 22 for Migraines and chronic Pancreatitas(started the processes when I was 19, I'm 25 now) but am working to get off of it ASAP,I want to be a nurse and work at a Impatient rehab with people with addictions of all kinds

Posted 1/15/2009 4:01 PM (GMT -6)
Kitty, My son gets strep at least 6-8 times a year....Finally his Dr. said that he might be a carrier!!! Imagine that, always carrying it around.... Just a thought.

Me.
 

 Post Lamenectomy Syndrome, Bipolar, GERD

Hemi-lamenectomy, Spinal Fusion

120mg. methadone daily, 60mg. oxycodone daily

 

Posted 1/15/2009 5:44 PM (GMT -6)
Hi Kitty, I'm sorry you are being treated like a bad person when clearly your not, he is! I had strep about a month & 1/2 ago. I had been feeling yucky most of the day and then woke in the night with the razorblade syndrome, love your "right on deffinition." Anyway, I got my good flashlight and looked in my bathroom mirror and saw what looked like cherry red covered with yellow egg custard spots. It was off to the Doc's 1st thing in the AM. He said it sure looked like streptaKA_KA_KA!!! So took a smear and gave me a Z-pack for starters. The office called 2 days later, I had missed 2 days of work, my 1st sick days since last May when I hurt my back at work and had to work from home from my PC and cell phone! Sure enough, they said I had the dreaded Ka-Ka and told me to come in for some shots. I did and begged the good Doc for a shot of Prednazone?. At first he said no, go home and go to bed! Then after telling how 150 guys had been laid off by my employer and I didn't want to be next, he broke with the good stuff and filled me up with premium. Those steroids amaze me how fast they can make you feel better when you feel so bad! So it was off to work and lucky for me it was Thursday. Only a day & a half left in the work week! By Monday I felt almost back to 75% with a good lesson learned> Now I know what this dredded Ka-Ka looks like and next time I see it in myself or others I will go straight in to see the good Doc and tell the others with it to do the same! Getting rid of that nasty stuff in 6 days was like a miracle for me. Live & Learn!
Good luck Miss Kiddy, I hope Karma gets that jerky guy!
Your friend,
Pete
55 years old, Surgury, Radical Prostatectomy 8/20/03, PSA 6.6, Gleason 3 + 3 = 6, Adenocarcinoma extent (moderate) Stage & Margin:T2NOMX, No Metastases, Organ Confined, bone scan: Neg. 3 1/2 years of depression after surgery prior to Hypogonadizm DX, Testosterone Theropy (Testim Gel)since 12/06 but switched to a higher dose of (Androgel) 6/08. I am's what I am's and that's all that I am's! (Popeye)  55 and still alive and so glad to still be here to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men. They are both serving in the US Navy, one on a ship in the Atlantic and the other on a ship in the Pacific!!! I am one proud PaPa!!!!! 

Posted 1/15/2009 6:39 PM (GMT -6)
Sorry to hear about the counseling problems. I don't have any advice for that but I do have some for the strep throat. You can get a gel called viscous lidocaine that you can swab your throat with. It will numb it. You do need a script for it though. Also, change all the toothbrushes in the home. They are great at storing the germs that cause strep.
Motorcycle wreck 08/2004: 119 fx, 13 surgeries with one more to go, including 5 bone grafts, 2 skin grafts, pelvic reconstruction x2. Right leg is 1.5" shorter than left. Have to wear knee brace for life and also AFO brace for drop foot. Nerve damage from hip down to toes, no feeling in lower leg. Spinal fusion. Will be on crutches the rest of my life. Pain level never below 5 even on pain meds. Since August 2007 I have been diagnosed with chronic atelactesis, tachycardia, high blood pressure, borderline personality disorder, depression and Delayed sleep phase syndrome

Posted 1/15/2009 6:56 PM (GMT -6)
Great idea on toothbrushes never thought a thing about it. Feel so sorry that you have to sit through these classes. But, it goes w/o saying its amazing what we will go thru when dealing with any type of illness or disease. Take care, Susie

Posted 1/15/2009 7:09 PM (GMT -6)
I used to work for a doctor and that was one of the first things he would tell all the strep throat patients. I forget just how long the strep germ can live in them but it was a fairly long time.
Motorcycle wreck 08/2004: 119 fx, 13 surgeries with one more to go, including 5 bone grafts, 2 skin grafts, pelvic reconstruction x2. Right leg is 1.5" shorter than left. Have to wear knee brace for life and also AFO brace for drop foot. Nerve damage from hip down to toes, no feeling in lower leg. Spinal fusion. Will be on crutches the rest of my life. Pain level never below 5 even on pain meds. Since August 2007 I have been diagnosed with chronic atelactesis, tachycardia, high blood pressure, borderline personality disorder, depression and Delayed sleep phase syndrome

Posted 1/16/2009 12:51 AM (GMT -6)
hello, the ER doctor gave me a prescription for something called "dental slurry" which is a mixture or lidocaine, maalox, and benadryl that you swish around our mouth and spit it out. It's numbs pretty good, but just the mouth and not the troat, and I tried swabbing the back of the throat with a q-tip with the stuff but it didnt work as well. I'm somewhat feeling better today, my throat is not hurting nearly as much anymore, but my body still feels like it's been hit by a bus, I'm sore all over and I'm so exhausted I can barely stay awake. I have to go to my doctor's appointment tomorrow, I was thinking of reschaduling because I ended up with so many extra pills, but he still wants me to come in. I will talk to you all later. Bubye

-hellokitty
I have Migraines, Pancreatic Divisum, Severe lower back pain, Fibromyalgia, Asthma from Chronic Bronchitis
Meds: Suboxone 8mg 3xday, Cymbalta 60mg @ night,
Zanaflex 2-4 mg @ night as needed, Treximet as needed,
Ventolin Albuterol Inhaler as needed which seems to be everyday.
Been on Diability since I was 22 for Migraines and chronic Pancreatitas(started the processes when I was 19, I'm 25 now) but am working to get off of it ASAP,I want to be a nurse and work at a Impatient rehab with people with addictions of all kinds

Posted 1/16/2009 8:26 AM (GMT -6)
Kitty- look at it this way, maybe you will give the strep over to him & he won't be able to talk..... *wink* hang in there, you will be fine, you are a strong person. Someday he will need those opiods & will have to eat his own words.
RX's: Oxycontin 80mg 2x's daily; Oxycodone 30mg 5xs daily; Zanaflex 4mg 3x's daily; Restoril 15mg 1x; Soma 3x's daily; Lyrica 100mg 3x's daily (pain & fibro.); Phenergan 25mg (as needed); Amitriptyline 25mg 1x (chronic pain); Cymbalta 60mg 2x's daily (pain from fibro); Abilify 5mgs at bedtime (depression); Metoclopram (as needed) & Senokot (as needed).
"The most critical choice you'll ever make is the one you make about what you're going to do with this. The past is over. The future hasn't happened yet. The only time is now."
- Dr. Phil

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