Scarred, Pete is so right, don't fall into any of their traps. If you see it coming, make an exit and go somewhere away from them to calm down & collect your thoughts. I can only tell you from experience, its amazing what happens when there is a death, our very own can turn into monsters. I did not speak to a sister for 6 yrs after my Dad died. It was her behavior that caused this and her daughters. They come out of the woodwork. I took care of my Dad, he moved here because he knew if he ever got sick I would be the one that took care of him and I did. My Dad had very little, so in reality there was nothing to squabble over, or so I thought, wrong, wrong was I. My goal was to pay off his debts and give him a decent burial, which I did.
I can tell you first hand its hard. But knowing what you do ahead of time is helpful, I was blindsided. As for your Mom, just try not to think about
it. You have given all fair warning, stick to your guns. I am so glad your hubby will be at your side, he will be your mountain of strength, lean on him. Let him handle as much of this as possible. Hugs & prayers honey, Susie