Hi everyone this is my first time in this part of the forum i mainly post in the depression forum because that is what first bought me to Healing well .
For as long as i can remember i have suffered from depression but this latest pain is caused from cancer .
Four years ago i went to the drs with a small sopt on my nose that was pinful and swollen he just said it wasn`t much and he gave me a cream to put on it as his treatment .Well this continued for a couple of years each time it flared up he would try a different cream .So then in desperation i asked for a referral to a skin specialist to see if they could help as this was getting so much worse .
On first meeting with the skin specialist i was told i had a Basal cell cancer and before i left the room a large biopsy had been take if it and was told to ring in a month for the results .
Results confirmed the drs diagnosis but it also confirmed a bad one this one was with many points of origin called multi focal basal cell cancer and i was then referred to a plastic surgeon as i would need more surgery and also skin and cartliage grafting .
After surgery i was shocked to see the extent of the piece taken out but was pleased to hear they had it all .Then at a three monthly check up i was concerned with it and when pointed out to the plastic surgeon who then decided to do further biopsys which confirmed more cancer .
I was referred to an oncologist ( cancer specialist) who decided rather than to take the end off my nose he would use radiation to treat the cancer .This was 15 doses over three weeks all of these treatments were done almost 1,000km away from my home and family .
As a result of the radiation i had severe ulceration down my nose which i just put up with until the past few months when the pain just got so severe not only in my nose but in my whole face and also included severe headaches .
On one visit to the oncologist a few months ago i mentioned to a relieving oncologist ( as mine was away ) about the pain and crawling sensation in my nose .He referred me to a skin specialist who took a swab of my nose and put me on antibiotics he then said he had no idea what to do so was referring me to the current ENT surgeon .
This surgeon has burnt the lining of my nose with acid in the hope the ulceration will heal faster but he didn`t tell me this process was as painful as it was going to be .Then two months ago another biopsy was taken from inside my nose this was found to have a different type of cancer than the first one in being a squamous cell cancer .SO now i was referred back to the oncologist again where he told me i would have to have my nose amputated .I just want to stop the pain it`s stuffed my life so much now .
When the oncologist looked into my nose a months ago he could not see the cancer because of the inflamation in my nose so he prescribed a cortisone cream in the bid to settle it down .Last week when i saw him again he was pleased that the cream had worked to a certain extent but now wants to use the same cream for another month before the surgeon takes a series of biopsys from around the current cancer to see how far it has spread .When the results are back he told me we will discuss the surgery .
With all of this i`m now having nightmares and am waking up not being able to breathe as they have amputated my nose .I sit on the side of my bed suffocating each night and now am at the stage where i only sleep an hour or so even with the help of 50mg of morphing 5mg valium and 10mg stilnox each night .
I wake up vomiting each morning feeling as though i had been drunk the night before .
I just want this all to end one way or another .