Palady, fortunately, the sandman & tinkerbell you sent over to me did help a bit. I managed to get about 5hrs of sleep, which is the most I ever get. I'm still quite exhausted today from being up for over 40 hrs yesterday on top of my chronic sleep deprivation. Unfortunately, it hits me the worst in my eyes (just what I need). It throws my convergence way off, so my eyes stop working together.
The appointment was alright, I suppose. The guy was running a half hour late, which was frustrating, since my appointment was supposed to be a 8 pm & I was so exhausted, all I wanted to do was go to bed.
For the first five or ten minutes he kept trying to tell me that my pain is caused by my subconscious because I want to "lead a normal life" and can use it as a way to safely back out of trying to fulfill such large goals.
I can't tell you how many times I have heard this (mostly from people who don't really know me). They learn about my shoulder injuries forcing me to stop racing when I was competing at a really high level, and then about my eye nearly stopping me from going to school when I am an excellent & high achieving student, and then they think, ah ha! she is crying out for help from within.
I have thought about it, I have talked about it with my psychologist, and I reject it every time (as does my pscyhologist, who actually knows me really well). It just doesn't fit. If you actually know me, and know my injuries, it doesn't make any sense, and it drives me nuts (to say the least) when people think this. I'm fighting as hard as I can to keep going & not let this affect me.
I was so grouchy from lack of sleep, being kept waiting, & not liking the guy, that I think I may have been giving him evil looks in addition to my firm arguing & explaining why that statement is NOT true, that when he finally accepted my answers, or at least gave up trying to persuade me otherwise, he kept saying "don't hate me for having suggested it." Overall I don't really feel like I got anything worthwhile out of seeing him. We are increasing a medication that I was already on & then I have to see him in another two weeks (joy).
Skeye <----- heading off for a nap before starting to tackle that lab report again!