I think it's because some of us have a past that may include the misuse and shame of it, and for some reason never got a toatal grip of it. Last week was horrible for me and after reading horror stories and various posts, I had a strong desire to stop. I felt bad about
myself for having to take them b/c of my past, I believe--even though that was a long time ago. My husband sounded similiar to you, saying you are a patient now, but I had to feel it for myself and I think I finally did after all this time, and feel much better and freerer this week. Last week, it was very hard to even shower. This week I caught myself moving quickly and with a much better attitude and it's true, my life is miserable without the pills. My husband isn't well, so he suffers also, if I can't do things, etc. I think I have come to terms finally with the stigma I was having of taking pills and see how bad I feel w/o them and don't equate taking them or taking less as making me a lesser person, if you can understand what I am saying.
I am grateful to this board, to be able to express myself and hope I made sense at 2:30 am.
But that is basically my story and had to go thru this myself and am happy I did--and now really see how I have to have them to function and feel freerer finally.
Thanks for your reply, I am always happy when people answer.
Blessings to you.