Hi and I too would like to welcome you to HW. I am a little late posting but just the same welcome aboard. I hate to see a new face be here, because no one should have to suffer, however you have landed at the right place. As you can see we are a great group of caring people on here. Not docs but just share our experiences.
I do hope by now you have had some luck in getting a dr to look at you. You sound like you are suffering needlessly. I know all too well how the military drs are. You should be given something for pain. It does sound like your fusion did not become solid and if that is the case that certainly explains your pain. Can you get a soft cervical collar at a drug store, they will at least stabilize your neck. One thing, please do not bend your head back anymore, not good, Try to keep your neck really as still as possible, thats why so many of us are asking about a collar. It would help in that area. Your neurosurgeon needs his butt kicked for not telling the military drs to x-ray your fusion every 6 weeks for awhile. They should have been monitoring the the bone graft to make sure it was becoming solid. Thats just reasonable care, what a cad. Patti is right for the neck to completely heal it takes one year.
Until you can get some medical help please be very careful with your neck. Stay out of a car as much as possible. Try to limit your driving to work and such. Don't need you to be getting in a wreck with your neck in the shape its in. I found moist heat helps more than dry heat. I take a hand towel and wet it and then wring it out. I nuke it a minute or so in the microwave, careful not to get it too hot and then make a roll with and put it around my neck. Feels wonderful, have cooked many meals nuking a hand towel,lol.
Please keep us posted on how thing come along for you. Susie