Welcome to the board! I am glad that you found us, but not glad to read why. I understand your fears about surgery, but there are good outcomes out there. You just don't find many of them posting on boards like these because once they recuperate, they are back to living their lives.
Did you get a 2nd and even a 3rd opinion, prior to consenting to this surgery? Is your surgeon a qualified spinal neuro or ortho surgeon? I have found that spinal neuros tend to do better/have better outcomes when there is nerve damage or the possibility of nerve damage than orthos...just because they deal with the nervous system as a general trend in their every day practices. If you have not seen a spinal neuro, I would suggest that you get that 2nd opinion there. It may help to reassure you that you are making the right decision if you have done that.
As far as your husband goes, number one, what he is doing is illegal, but you know that and I'm sure that he does as well. Secondly, he is a heel if he is taking your meds, knowing that you are in pain and need them, and thirdly, what he is doing may very well put your own medical needs in jeapordy by stealing your meds if you are tested for blood levels or urine screens. And what about your medical license? Can you get in trouble for his diversion? Especially if you wind up blacklisted at your surgeon's or PM's office for not taking the proper amount of meds? If that is the case, he needs to be told to stop immediately and then make sure that he can not get his hands on your meds.
As far as surgery goes, you are going to need support, both physically and mentally once you have surgery. Is he capable of being a good support for you? Or are you going to find yourself having to do for your kids and yourself , and possibly him as well , too soon? If that is the case, you need to lean on some friends or co workers so that you don't undo the good of the surgery....
Hang in there.....I wish you nothing but the best.
PLIF/TLIF Fusion w/Instrumentation L4-5 Spondololysthesis L4-5.Laminectomies L4-5, foraminal stenosis L3-4, L4-5, L5-S1, herniations L3-4, L4-5, L5-S1, central canal stenosis L3-4, L4-5 and L5-S1
POST OP CES 3/30-06
Neurogenic Bladder and Bowel, bilateral numbness legs and feet
Revision for failed Back surgery, pseudoarthrosis L4-5, hemilaminectomies L3-4, L4-5, L5-S1, bmp added to revision fusion, replaced two bent screws that were reversing out of vertebrae - August 2, 2007
On going back pain and neuropathic pain, failed back surgery, consult for scs, decided not to do that at this point.
Adhesive Arachnoiditis also......just what I didn't need..9/08- adding bilateral ulnar neuropathy with severe compression to the mix. They want me to see a surgeon for ulnar nerve surgery, but I'm not biting.
I've seen enough surgeons over the last few years.