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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 96
   Posted 4/11/2009 11:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the note, that helped me. I thought I upset some people from the forum. I found this site when I was beginning to drown. My emotions were in overdrive. I needed to vent and let everything out. Maybe i said some things to give people the wrong impression of me. I have always cared for other people and their best outcome with healthcare. I dont like being cared for myself, not everyone does. I am starting to concentrate on my health. My pain is better, but the Elavil makes my stomach bloat and I feel like I am pregnant. My back hurts when I am done with work and my legs scream when I get up in the morning, I dont like taking the Neurontin in the daytime because I just sleep. My bowels sound like a backed up toilet sewer system gurgling and I have the diarrhea after every piece of food I eat. I am getting happier though because the pain isnt so overwhelming controlling my life 100% of the time. the more I work, I can ignore the pain but thats not healthy for my body. I am just wondering which disc that is unstable is going to herniate and then there is more surgery. I feel I have disappointed my husband, he is a good husband and wonderful Dad, but he lost his dad when he was young and his mother died of massive stroke at 51. He just worries about me and expresses it the way he only knows how. He saw so many doctors and hospitals with his dad's MS. I know that is not right because I am in different situtation but I think he is trying and he feels quilty that I need to work at this time. We are a strong family and giving the two girls (8 and 12) the best life we are able to and they appreciate it which some kids dont. I hope you have a wonderful Easter. I dont have any courage to seek a pain MD for what the last 2 docs I saw. I am not seeking drugs, I just want a little quality of life. When I am at home, I hurt more and that is so upsetting to me because I cant do anything or take the kids anywhere because I hurt. They understand but someday I hope they dont get angry with me. I dont think they will.

White Beard
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3700
   Posted 4/12/2009 1:29 AM (GMT -6)   
cshelp your husband might need help dealing with his loses of his parents, but  he also needs to be able to realize that you are in pain and he needs to be able to come to grips with that. It is ok for you to feel that you have maybe disaapointed him that is a human emotion and feeling, and it does show your compassion, I admire that!  but but it doesn't mean that it is valid. You might feel that way, but my God look what you have been through!!! Another thing , it is not wrong of you to "want a little quality of life" You deserve at least that much and a whole lot more! To want to be without pain in not seeking Drugs, it is a honest human desire and need! Who wants to be in PAIN! I wish that someone would talk with your husband about that! I bet he wouldn't want to have your pain! and if he did I bet he would want something for it! I do wish you would dig deep down into yourself and find the courage or what ever it is you need to seek out a pain specialist and get the proper treatment you deserve! It would not only be good for you, but your family would also benefit from it, your children would have a mother that could do things with them and not be in pain, and your husband would also reap the benefits!

cshelp you don't have to thank me, I didn't do anything, I just want to be of help! I do Thank-You for acknowledging my desire to help though!
I wish you only the best!
White Beard

  I'm Retired USAF, went back to school and became an RN, and now am on full disalbility!--Degenerative Disc (affecting mostly the thorasic disc but all levels involved), C6/7 laminectomy/diskectomy& fusion, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications: Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV

Post Edited (White Beard) : 4/12/2009 12:35:00 AM (GMT-6)

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