The nurses didn't know because she didn't tell them.
I am going to tell a story here and I know that it is not going to win me any friends but it is the truth.
I developed RSD after a botched shoulder surgery. For 7 long years I dealt with it. I had what I thought was my last child two months before that surgery.
5 years into the RSD treatment, and 15 years into my infertility problems, I became pregnant. I was on 80 mgs, three times a day of methadone, 300 mcg of fentanyl, along with 3600 mg of neurontin and 1050 mg of soma, along with several others medications to keep the RSD from making me want to cut my arm off literally each day. I found out that I was pregnant (10 weeks along at the time I found out). I immediately made an appointment with my gyn, who promptly sent me to see a fetal high risk pregnancy doctor, and my PM. All of them made the decision for me that I needed to stay on the meds that I was on, except for the soma and a few of the other what I called my minor drugs.
I came home, upset, scared and horrified from those appointments that they could want me to stay on any of the medications since I had read that they could cause withdrawal in a newborn. I decided to take myself off them, and I did. However, once I told the doctors what I had done, they insisted that I stay on the methadone, telling us that that a flare of the RSD would be worse for the baby than staying on the methadone would. I was even told that the baby would not suffer any withdrawal if I did.
I had a ton of misgivings but at that point, I was told that I already may have put us in jeapordy doing what I did, stopping all of the medications that I had and there were a total of 16 a day that I was on prior to finding out that I was pregnant. And honestly, I trusted my ob/gyn , and the opinion of the perinatalogist/high risk pregnancy doctor. After all , it was her specialty.
When our son was born, he did really well until about
16 hours after birth. I noticed that his jaw was clenched, and he was holding his legs and arms tightly to his chest. I called the nurses and told them that I thought that he was starting to go into withdrawal. They all knew ahead of time why I was on the medications ( it was obvious to everyone since I had no use of my right arm and hand). Anyway, he went to NICU. He was started on meds and slowly titrated to the correct dose to stop the withdrawal. I can tell you all that I have never felt so darn guilty in my entire life that my son, the one that I had carried , wanted for so long, fought to try to have all those years , was suffering and it was because I listened to those doctors. I was a basket case, beyond horrified that I had done this to him, and that he would have to suffer because of me. The nurses our son had in NICU were wonderful, and not a one of them ever looked at me, blaming me. I was there, every second of every day with our son, as was my husband. When I came home, when my husband was at the hospital I was home , for short periods , long enough to shower and change my clothes , only to go back after I was done doing that. The nurses would tell us to go home , to get some rest, and sometimes, we did, usually until his next feeding time, when we could be with him again. We were on the phone with the nurses, if we were not there. I think that we made them sick of us, but they never said so. They were so supportive of me, and knew that I was suffering a horrible guilty conscience, but still my doctors were insisting that I had done the "right thing". I only know this, it sure didn't feel right to me. Not seeing what I did. Our son spent not quite a month in the hospital, and we never wavered in how often we were with him, or calling the few times that we went home to change clothes and shower. It was the longest month of my life, until he was discharged to come home. That day, there was not a dry eye in NICU when we left, and I never have gotten over what I felt about
that whole thing. In fact, the tears are streaming now, remembering all of this.
CPS was not called in our case, I had a well documented, medical reason to be on methadone, and my doctors, the NICU staff, everyone at the hospital all knew and were extremely supportive of me, my husband.
I wanted to tell you , that your grandson hopefully will not suffer long term problems. Our son turned 9 yesterday. He is all boy, with the sunniest disposition of any child that I know. He has no long term effects, despite the withdrawals he went through. Mom, on other hand, always carries that guilt.....I guess the doctors were right, in that he wouldn't be "harmed" by it, but let me tell you.....mom was and still is.
I hope that once your grandson is through this , that he will be like our son, happy, healthy and full of
"boy" as we call it. I am so upset reading that this girl has been lying to the doctors about
the amount of medications that she is on, and that she is breastfeeding! She knows that most hospitals with NICU's make accomodations for the parents, and yes, do give things like long term parking passes, meal tickets, even beds are made available to the parents in the parents room to stay with their child at the hospital. Tell your son to talk to the Social Worker, she can get those things arranged for him . Tell him to make it clear that he wants to be there with his son during this as often as he can be and he has no other resources to stay in the area. She can make those things happen for him.
Her, on the other hand, I will be surprised to hear that she shows up much, other than if she thinks that it will make her look good.Although she might, now that she is no longer pregnant because she will need some documentation for the clinic.
Bless this baby and your son for standing up and trying to do right by his son. I hope that he continues to do so. And I also hope that he sees her for what she really is and does something to protect his son.
PLIF/TLIF Fusion w/Instrumentation L4-5 Spondololysthesis L4-5.Laminectomies L4-5, foraminal stenosis L3-4, L4-5, L5-S1, herniations L3-4, L4-5, L5-S1, central canal stenosis L3-4, L4-5 and L5-S1
POST OP CES 3/30-06
Neurogenic Bladder and Bowel, bilateral numbness legs and feet
Revision for failed Back surgery, pseudoarthrosis L4-5, hemilaminectomies L3-4, L4-5, L5-S1, bmp added to revision fusion, replaced two bent screws that were reversing out of vertebrae - August 2, 2007
On going back pain and neuropathic pain, failed back surgery, consult for scs, decided not to do that at this point.
Adhesive Arachnoiditis also......just what I didn't need..9/08- adding bilateral ulnar neuropathy with severe compression to the mix. They want me to see a surgeon for ulnar nerve surgery, but I'm not biting.
I've seen enough surgeons over the last few years.