edt,( Patti), If my mememory serves me right it was you that encouraged me to start the thread on forgiveness back in March sometime. I can never Thank-You enough for that, That was such a meaningful thread! Yes you are right in a few months my life will be much different and this will be all behind me, But one thing I do hope is (NOT) different is still having you, and all the rest here on this forum, as my friends!
Pamela I can't imagine what it was like for you not being able to log onto this forum, I honestly think that would be torture for me! I am glad you are back with us! Oh yea my MRI is on the 8th of May. It can't come soone enough! the pain in my arm and neck are getting worse, it is a hot! aching feeling pain that goes from my elbow down into my fingers, and the pain in my left side of my neck shoots like a hot iron from my adams apple up into the the back of my head and makes me feel like gagging! I have had this before, but it would always go away now it is going on over two weeks and just getting worse!
straydog, ( Susie) all I can say is THANK-YOU!! You are very preceptive, I do feel some guilt, I really should have went up to see my father inlaw when he was in the PT rehab center. I was planning on it, and it is like I told my soon to be ex, I did not go up there to see him, out of spite, or wanting to hurt her or her father, I mainly just didn't go because, I feel uncomfortable being around them under the circumstances, and I didn't say this to her, but he hates being in hospitals or anything like that, and when he is, he is one miserable SOB! and he really isn't pleasant to be around! I just didn't want to have to deal with that! So I kept putting off going up there to see him! And in away I feel that was very selfish of me! So I do feel a little guilt! Straydog right now we are both ( Wife and I) living in our house, my wife moved up stairs,into the guest room, she is seldom home, and spends the weekends up at her parents 55 miles away. She came home to get more cloths! The reason for this arrangement is that neither one of us can afford to move out and get another place to live and still help maintain this house. So we are selling the house, and after it is sold we will pay what debts we have off, and then split the profit equally, and we should both get quite a sum, from it. Then we both should be well enough off to be on our own, she has been looking at buying another home, using her share of the profit as a good down payment! She will be staying in the area because of her job and her family being close by! For me? I don't know yet!
PALady ......I can never Thank-You enough! .....Your support for me seems never ending! Your advice to me has alway sound and true! .....I don't believe I have never really said what the reason was for filing for divorce, I may have indirectly indicated it though. The actually filing was for Mental Cruelty, which if push came to shove I can prove with no problem at all! ( according to my Lawyer it was also the quickest way to get the divorce) It probably should have also been for infidelity but I can not absolutely prove that! But there is certainly allot of unrefutable circumstantial evidence that would lead one to believer that! And there is other stuff that I won't go into!
I have seriously thought about moving up toward Rochester Minnesota to be closer to my granddaughter ( My daughter is a Nurse at Mayo's) but to be honest I don't know if I really want to move where the winters are even worse than they are right here in east central Illinois! You are reading my thoughts again PALady! I talked to my Lawyer yesterday, and the divorce can go ahead and be done with, without selling the house, and she can go ahead and move out if she wants, as long as she continues paying half of everything, ( paying on the debt, and expenses of living in the house, insurance, association fees and dues and ultilities) Anyway if the house sells quickly I think I will just stay in the area, ( maybe rent a strorage locker to store some of my things) and then rent a small appartment for a while, until I decide what I want to do and where I want to live! Other than my medical, there is nothing really keeping me here! I can go anywhere really! I have already lived so many different places in the states, so who knows! Actually it would be nice moving to a place where I could be close to a military base, that way I could use my retirement benefits, shopping at the base exchange and getting groceries from their commissary, you really save a lot, buying groceries at a base commissary! The Air Force Base I retired at is 15 miles away but it closed down and there is nothing left for the military retirees, I think the closest Air Force Base to me now is Scott AFB near St Louis! And that is a long drive, over 200 miles, to far to go just for groceries! I have thought of California, I have many friends out there, and I was stationed at three different places out there! I have all so thought about the East coast I have been there too at several different locations, and the south and just about every where in between. You are right again PALady it can be difficult to cope with so many changes happenig all at once!
PALadyI also hope you have a pain free Peaceful weekend too!
Again I Thank-You ALL, for being here for me! and I will alway try and be there for YOU!