New on this from Quebec

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New Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 5/14/2009 12:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi all!
My name is Dany and I am new on this forum. Just subscribed actually.
In an attempt to introduce myself to everybody on here, I will give you a summary of who I am and how did I ended up on this forum.
First off, I am a french canadian living in the province of Quebec. I am a 38 year's old unemployed father of two, with a joint custody. I am currently living with my partner, an italian big-hearted, caring, loving and witty lady I met a year ago and whom, in spite of my situation making it hard sometimes, I love deeply. So please, keep in mind that although I speak english fluently and on a day to day basis, I do tend to make spelling mistakes once in a bluew moon. After all, english is not my mother tongue while french is. So please ladies and gentlemen, bear with me.
about 12 years ago, while I was still in my prime and married at the time with the mother of my children, I underwent a vasectomy regardless of my fear of the latter. It so happened that 2 days (or so) after the surgery, I started to feel acute, stabbing pain in my perineal, rectal and testiculal area. In short, the pelvic region. At first, my urologist thought it was a bacterial prostatitis for which he prescribed antibiotics. But the pain persisted. As from there, you can easily guess the hellish time I went through: seeing specialists, trying new drugs. The whole jazz. In short,  looking for answers and a desperate relief. 
Up til then, I was still, nevertheless, functional. I could work, keep going to the gym, have sex and take care of my beloved kids. Two years ago, I started feeling a burning pain in my left leg, heel, and most importantly, my lower back. My GP sent me to the hospital to get an MRI (in Canada, everybody is covered by the healthcare system so you don't have to pay for anything but brother, do you ever wait!) and the verdict was announced: 3 herniated discs. The last straw! Like my pelvic was not enough. What is the connection with my previous condition? Probably none. I am baffled and so is my Dr. And yet again, another déjà-vu journey begins. Different but the same; seeing more specialists, taking more drugs. Honest, if you can smoke it, swallow it, inject it etc. chances are, I took it. Everything I tried so far has mostly failed: epidurals, chiros, support-belt and quite a whole lotta money shelled out just to end up in more pain today. To think that I knew what real pain was with my previous-still-existing condition. Well, you live you learn, let's put it that way.
I am so afraid about my future. Will I ever work again and in how long? Money is not everything, granted but you need it in order to subsist. I am currently living on my savings, money I has set apart for my retirement. As the pain is eating me up increasingly, I dread not to be capable in the future to take care of my kids like I should and provide for them. I already lost everything to that darn pain, this would take the cake. Plus, will my partner, as much as she loves me, will tolerate living with a man who can't work, doesn't smile or laugh much, doesn't get much done around and spends most of his time brooding (depression) and watching TV because the bloody pain just WONT LEAVE ME ALONE. IT OWN ME!!
I wish I could say to myself: Bahh! Can't be worse, man up,  go on and be happy. However, I learned one hard and cruel fact in the last 12 years. Guest what? IT CAN!! And that is not depression talking non-sense, it's the new seasonned-down-to-earth-cynical version of me making a realistic statement.
Well, thanks for listening. I am doing this because of all people, you guys are the best bunch to relate and understand me as fellow CPSs.
Comments and feedbacks are more than welcome and I shall reciprocate.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9245
   Posted 5/14/2009 12:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Dany,

And welcome to our family!! We are a small oasis in a sea of pain but even this small group can bring huge positive results in your life. Just having people to talk to who understand your pain is a huge help in itself.

One thing that stood out in your story is your emotional pain. That is something you can work on and with a good outlook on life you can live again...even with the pain. I do! Please make an appointment with your doc and talk to him/her seriously about your feeling of depression. It's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Often people with chronic pain, especially how long and awful yours has been, are stuck another blow by depression. You CAN have a good life and the people here are proof of it. Sure, we all have bad times but we learn from each other and our lives are what we make of them. WE are in control now...NOT the pain! Make sense?

Your sweetheart will stick by your side if it's love that's in her heart. My husband does. We've been married 15 years and I was so frightened when we were dating. I had many health issues and the chronic pain hadn't set in yet. That started after my son passed away in 2000. I have other back pain before but nothing like the fibromyalgia I deal with now. Coming to Healing Well and then volunteering to work as a moderator has given me my life back. Some days are harder but overall I am blessed with a husband who could see through the pain to the person who's heart and soul are devoted to him.

So dear Canadian friend....take my hand (extending hand) and we'll walk this path together. Hour by hour, day by day you will gain strength by connecting with people who understand and care about you.

Keep in touch,
Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, Ulcerative Colitis, Insulin dependent diabetic, PTSD, dermatitis herpetiformus, osteoarthritis and a few other side dishes.
Happiness is something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for."

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 5/14/2009 12:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Bonjour Dany
agreable de vous rencantrer or nice to meet you..I'm in Texas, USA , but I like cats and chartreux is a cat breed...
I agree with Chutz in that with chronic pain, depression can follow behind and so I see a pain management psychologist
which helps me sometimes take my mind off the me of the pain..
There are a lot of nice people here and we try to help each other, the pain in your lower back can radiate to other parts of your
body, have your doctors talked to you about a spinal fusion surgery? just wondering?
wish you get a low pain day...
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc, Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's and Ocular Migraines


Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 5/15/2009 5:10 AM (GMT -6)   

Welcome Dany to the forum.

As for spelling errors? English is my only language and yet there are times I cant spell the little words! We are all pretty tolerant of the little things,lessons that came hard for most of us.

If there is one thing each of us here bring to the table in commonality it is understanding of pain,the all encompassing life draining pain that before these moments in our life we couldnt fathom. There is plenty of compassion and caring here and a wealth of knowledge and as everyone takes something away from here with they each leave something of themselves behind. It seems you will fit right in here.

So glad you found this place but so sad you had to search us out.

Looking forward to "seeing" you around.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 773
   Posted 5/15/2009 8:20 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi Dany,

Welcome to our family!!  I am so sorry to hear of your situation!  I have found so much support from my friends/family here!  No matter what the topic, someone will relate to the situation and know just the right words to say that make the burden a lot lighter!  Posting here has helped me so much over the last few months, just be able to vent without judgement is amazing!  Its like being at a Psychiatrists!!

Look forward to seeing your posts!


Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1158
   Posted 5/15/2009 9:24 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome Dany,

You will find out like most of us already have that this community is here for everything. Doesn't have to be about pain it can be about what you ate for dinner. Also when your depressed come here someone is always here to help you though anything.

Depression, anxiety and mood swings go hand in hand with Chronic Pain patients. I take an antidepressant to help with the pain and it also helps with some of the mental issues. I'm always a happy person but sometimes the pain is so bad I just want to crawl into a hole somewhere...

But we are all here for each other.

Hope you stay with all of us

Chronic Kidney Stones, PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease), Chronic Kidney Failure, Severe Hypertension, Urological RSD

Tony McGuire
Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 483
   Posted 5/15/2009 10:29 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome, Dany, to the best group of people you'll find anywhere - pain or not.

Not knowing Canada, I have to ask:
Does it have a 'Disabled' type of national insurance?
Does it recognize Chronic Pain as a legitimate debilitating affliction?

If you have such a national system, Would your level of affliction not qualify for the above? In the US we have such a system, with which if you qualify you get basic subsistence from the system we pay into whenever we work (basically).

Beyond that, I have no suggestions other than specific pain killer combination of medications. But it sounds like you've taken the full gambit of medications, so I haven't much other than to say that Chomp & Koshka (in signature below) and I offer our prayers for your solution to be found, and that you might at least have a Low Pain Day soon.
Wife: Liz, the choice of a lifetime
Dogs: Koshka Prayer & Chomp Prayer
Meet My Wife And Me

Post Edited (TonyMcGuire) : 5/15/2009 9:33:42 AM (GMT-6)

White Beard
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3702
   Posted 5/15/2009 11:07 PM (GMT -6)   

Welcome to the Chronic Pain Forum, You sure have had a hard time of it! I do wish you the best, and I am glad you found this forum, there is a really great group of very caring and compassionate people here, that I am sure you will find always willing to help and support you! I do hope that things work out well for you!

Again I Welcome You!

White Beard
  I'm Retired USAF, went back to school and became an RN, and now am on full disalbility!--Degenerative Disc (affecting mostly the thorasic disc but all levels involved), C6/7 laminectomy/diskectomy& fusion, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications: Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV

Becoming undone
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 927
   Posted 5/15/2009 11:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Welcome Frenchdude...
I understand only too well of wanting to go to work. To be back to the way I was...Not sure if I'll ever be...I went to a program with my father in cardiac rehab and I learned something...I have to find the "new normal". This lady stated that you can't ever go back to that old normal...but you strive and succeed in this "new normal." Okay, maybe psychobabble to some, but it did make me feel a bit better. It made me feel less a failure.

Chronic pain does something to us humans. Heck, that is the definition of keep in constant it does affect our minds. You can't go through it day after day and not have it affect you. Pain Sucks!

In your last statement...yeah I agree with you. I apprecite things so much more. I look around me and see the beauty instead of before what needs to be done...I have that time to smell the roses and watch the birds...and I honestly think I'm happier too...again PAIN SUCKS...
Again, welcom
"The earth laughs in flowers"

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