Denim, I just read your post. It is okay to be afraid and sad. Saying that even sometimes helps. I want to encourage you to continue posting here. I have found it very helpful to me. Everyone is so caring and supportive. And it is all genuine. I have never found another group of people like the ones here on the forum.
I am sorry you are having a hard time and have been through so much. I also lost a husband 10 yrs ago, to a brain anurysem. That alone is something I think a person never really gets over.I also had a "friend" like Chutzie that suggested that I just "get over it". I lost a husband, not a child, but it was horrible for me.I am remarried and have another child, but there has honestly not been one day where I haven't thought of him. I did have to get on with my life. And it brought alot of quilt with it. I didn't want to get on with my life without him in it. But I had a baby(my son was 9 mos. old) and I knew he needed me as much as I needed him. And I knew that by getting on with my life didn't mean that I was through with the grieving process. I don't know if you really ever stop that. I think you just somehow learn to go through the motions.
It may be an option that would help you by talking with your doctor about
getting on a anti-depressant. I have been hesitant about
it before. I knew I was having problems and couldn't imagine a pill would help. But I have been on them many times in my life. And it does help. It doesn't make the problems go away by any means. But it does help you to be able to face and deal with them a little better. I don't want to sound "pushy". But it is something to think about
. Only you and your doctor can make that decision. You stated that you are withdrawn. That does concern me. And I think that you may need to think about
the options available to you-antidepressants and possibly even some counseling. It may help. Dealing with pain all the time is bad enough. And just know that you don't have to suffer emotionally alone. The options I stated are worth considering. And you know that we are always here for you.
Please take care of yourself. And post when you can. I will keep you in my thoughts.
Post Edited (anice) : 5/18/2009 9:09:08 AM (GMT-6)