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Posted 5/19/2009 6:09 AM (GMT -7)
  HELLO all, this is my first post so a little history 2006 I had a back surgery that made my pain worst,that made my day, so it has been a fight with pain meds had to go to rehab for that,to add to the problem depression has set in and that is fun I am sure you all know what that is all about. Last May I lost my job they use a lam excuse to get rid of me but I know it was cause of my leg pain it is hard to walk,to sit to long or stand I am a Haz waste tech so I drove a big semi and operated yellow metal excavators and the such so it was a physical job and they said teach the new guys so they made mistakes like all new guys do, and I was Foreman so they got rid of me. So here I sit with unemployment witch will run out soon then what. I am getting a stimulator put in on 6/02/09 that will work for now what about two years from know. I cry a lot my family has put up with a lot we are hanging in there, I hope for the long haul but it is putting a strain on all of us help me if anyone has been there if you have any insight please feel free to pass along any helping words that may help me feel better feeling that I am not so alone.
Posted 5/19/2009 7:11 AM (GMT -7)

bordercollie2

Wow, first of all Welcome to the Nuthouse...ha ha...Seriously, we have all been where you are.  I have had 2 back surgeries, been on multiple pain medications over the years, thought I was an addict until I came here.  We all have problems when it comes to pain meds...some of us control it better than others.  Mostly we have all reached a level of tolerance to them.  It is inevitable that we have to increase them, and sometimes our families don't understand... What to do?  Live your life the best you can.

 

So many people are getting laid off or let go now...That is a National epidemic.  How old are you?  Can you do something from home?  Like on the computer?  I hate that you are going through such a rough time...But we are here for you.  You can come here to Vent, scream, ask questions, or give advice...we are not Doctors, But we do have a vast amount of experiences to access. 

 

Everybody here has a story to tell...Now, that includes you.  Someone else will come along with their problems and you will be there for them.  It helps to know that you can help someone else.  It makes you feel better.  At least you can somewhat forget about your own troubles for a little while...

 

I don't know anything about Neurostimulators, but my own PM is talking about it for me...I don't think I like the idea, but whatever works.  right now I am going through some other medical issues.  I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes on March 16, 2009...That is fun fun fun...Chronic Pain and Diabetes don't go very good together... They seem to aggrivate each other to the NTH degree...So far I am trying pills, but I don't think that will last long...Insulin is next...

 

So, I may not have helped you that much, but I do want to say hello and welcome...Come back, we all help each other.

 

Me.

Posted 5/19/2009 7:43 AM (GMT -7)
Border: I am new here too. They wanted to put a stimulator in me until they discovered via EMG that the left leg is healing and the right leg is unstable and has gotten worse. Just the fact that the left leg is healing after 3 years gives me hope. So time is a consideration. Are you improving at all from year to year? I cried alot in 2006 and 2007. But my periods of sadness are fewer. It can take 2-4 years for a person to grieve their situation - another reason why time is a consideration. If you can't work in your chosen occupation, apply for Social Security Disability.
Posted 5/19/2009 12:08 PM (GMT -7)
Hi, Bordercollie2 (love the name),
Welcome to the CP forum of Healing Well. We're always sorry to see new people in pain, but that being said you are definitely not alone. It has helped me more than I can say to have found this site.

I know what failed back surgery is like (mine was in 07). And being laid off while out on leave for back surgery! And have unemployment just about to run out. And just beginning to face applying for SSD. And there are many others here who have faced the same or even worse.

One thing I wondered about is whether you've discussed an anti-depressant with one of your doctors. Chronic pain can cause depression not because we're weak psychologically, but because of the physiology of pain. It literally can create depression. So an anti-depressant often helps with the depression (I'm on one) and some can even help a bit with the pain.

We also have another member (fatherjohn) who's getting his stim implant on 6/1. He has some posts (one titled the "energizer bunny") about his trial this past week. And there are a number of people here with stims with some recent posts.

Again, glad you found us - and welcome!

L5-S1 - I wanted to welcome you, too. I would suggest you start your own new thread (topic) and introduce yourself to the members.

PaLady
Posted 5/19/2009 4:32 PM (GMT -7)
Hi Bordercollie, im sorry that you are dealing with so much at once. You came to the right place. We all know about CP, depression, and i know there are a few here who have the stimulator also. It sounds like u might benifit from depression counseling. Anytime i start getting to depressed, i go back to my shrink who helps me work it out and i always start to feel better.
anyways, good luck to you and i hope tomarrow will be a better day!
Posted 5/25/2009 12:04 AM (GMT -7)
Hi Bordercollie:

I'm sorry I did not see your post until today, I have not been doing too well lately, so it has been kind of hit and miss for me, but I was going back to look at posts from the last several days, and in reading yours, I just wanted to let you know that our past history's are very similar, and if I nothing else, I hope that you will know that you are not alone.

I was in a passenger in a car driven by a fellow teacher (who was driving too fast), and a guy ran a stop sign and hit the driver's side rear, which sent us sideways and we were hit again by on-coming traffic right in my door by a car going 45 mph.  Since that day (Oct. 25, 1995), I have had 23 back surgeries and despite having the herniated discs removed and rods, screws, and cages, as well as extensive fusion and a spinal cord stimulator and intrathecal pain pump, I am still in terrible pain from extensive nerve damage, degeneration, arthritis, scoliosis, spondylolesthesis, and a host of other problems.

I tried to continue working for 4 1/2 years after the accident simply because I absolutely loved my job.  I was a teacher in a correctional facility as well as a vo-tech school, and while recovering from one of my surgeries, my immediate supervisor left and on my first day back, my new boss told me that she didn't think I had any business working in a jail with a bad back, because she felt that the inmates could more easily take advantage of me because of my limitations and although I was devestated, it was getting harder and harder for me to continue working and I had been thinking that I wasn't going to be able to keep it up much longer, so as much as my mind and heart wanted to keep going, I knew that my working days were over and I applied for SSD.

As you probably already know, CP and depression go hand in hand, and most of us on this forum have it to varying degrees.  You have come to a wonderful place where you can talk about anything you are going through and you will receive compassionate support and good advice without ridicule or judgement.

If you have any questions or concerns about the SCS implant, feel free to ask away.  There are other's that are in various stages of the process - some have just done the trial, some have just had the permanent implant, some of us have had one for years, and others have had it removed.

Welcome to HW,

Lorie

 

Posted 5/25/2009 12:12 AM (GMT -7)
Lorie,
Isn't it telling how certain dates are just seared into our minds - like the date of your accident. I bet we all have the dates, moments in time, when our lives shifted, although in some cases it's not that well-defined.

I don't want to sidetrack the thread. I just thought it was so interesting.

PaLady
Posted 5/25/2009 3:16 AM (GMT -7)

Bordercollie2, Greetings and welcome to the forum. This is a great place for encouragement and support. I hear so many heartfelt emotions coming from your post. The pain, the loss of a job, the stress on the family, depression, feelings of not being the provider, uncertainty about the future and the list could go on. As PAlady already shared, I am having an implant on 6/1. Maybe we could get them done together and get a group discount?

As I mentioned the emotions and issues, I want to address several. the first is about you and your family. You don't say who is in your family but being open with them will help them understand which will help all of you. This support is so important to keep open and honest. You may even need to have outside help from a pastor or counselor. As per the implant. I hope your doctor has been truthful and real with you. What the doctor and the rep from the maker of the implant shared with me is the SCS is not a magical cure and has its limitations. They told me that what I experienced during the trial should be the expectation I should have after the implant. For me, this is not a cure but something that will help reduce the amount of pain meds I need to use to function. 

I hope the best for you and if I can be of more help, please let me know. I have been dealing with CP for 11 years and have tried many different options but the feeling that the options are limited changes the way you think about things. Keep us informed as to how you are doing.  

Posted 5/25/2009 7:43 AM (GMT -7)

Bordercollie2  I too welcome you to our family here on Healing Well.

All of us here have dealt with so many things regarding Chronic Pain.  It can affect the best of people, brings out the best and the worst in all of us.  I think the best is that we become more compassionate towards all others, the worst is the pain, mood swings, depression, and the feeling of being alone.

Here you can show the best and the worst in yourself.  I believe you will find some advice that might help you with you struggle.  If not at least you will find you are not alone with dealing with problems.

I wish you the best

Laurie

Posted 5/26/2009 10:59 AM (GMT -7)
Thank you all for your words of comfort they do help me feel welcome and not so alone, just that their are many of us out there with this depilating problem. I my self is taking three kind of anti-depression meds they do help with some of my moods but like most things with us it does not do as well as we would like I could write all my meds down but I would run out of space their is a lot of meds but no pain meds.
I will post something after my implant is put in, I had the temp in for a week and it did lesson my pain but that was only a week is that going to work for the long haul I don't know and no one can give me and answer so that has got me scared I see some of you have had the implant and the results are mixed so here we are with a fifty fifty chance I wish the odds were more in my favor but that is the best I think I an going to get be happy with that I guess reside to the fact it is not going to get any better, I wish my job had that much leeway.
How is everyone's sleep do you get a full night or just a few hours like mine three hours is good I am always tired and the meds don't help with that either I am also on the C-PAP machine witch helps with the restful sleep it my be short but good, wish it could be eight hrs.instead but can't be to choose at this point. Thanks again for all the words of encouragement I don't feel so alone, wish we all could sit down over a cup of coffee and trade stories that would take up a good morning of conversation but this will do for now everyone stand tall (if you can) and hang in there together we can be there for each other helping any way we can.Good bye now.
Posted 5/26/2009 12:25 PM (GMT -7)
Hello Boardercollie,

I usually don't make a habit of telling my story but you didn't want to feel alone and I saw some parallels.

I have been having back problems since 1985 starting with a herniated disc and a subsequent laminectomy. That was followed by 2 more surgeries for fusion.. At that point I was fused from L3-S1. Then in 1999 I was hit by a car. I was a pedestrian in a rental car lot and a car hit my car which, in turn, hit me. Broke part of the fusion requiring 4th surgery. Now fused from L2-S1. While I was out on ST dis. for the surgery, I written up at work for poor performance!!!! Can you believe it? When I returned to work there was more pressure, more HR crap, write ups for not getting things done right and I was still in post op pain. Within a year of returning to work it was clear that I was not going to recover to the point I was before. I was contemplating a change when they found a way to ease me out. My doc had already put me on full medical disability anyway so it didn't matter. I retired at age 59, moved to be closer to my kids and have been dealing with CP ever since. That's the short version of longer, uglier story. I became severely depressed over having to stop working and the financial impact of not completing my preparation for retirement.

I was placed on heavy duty anti-depression and pain meds. For the first two or three years I was just a zombie. I was so out of it I couldn't think straight. I finally got the pain somewhat reduced and cut back on the pain and depression meds. I am doing much better now. I takes time to come to grips with what life has dealt you and how you are going to cope with the reality. I helps that my personality is positive and forward thinking. With the help of a very understanding wife and family and some new hobbies, I have managed to fashion a very acceptable life for us. I am far from pain free but I can manage with meds and support like this group.

As bad as things seem to get there is always something positive. You may have to dig for it, but it's there. It may not be what you expected but you learn to make the most of the positives and suppress the negatives. That's my philosophy.

Anyway, hope this helps. Feel free to ask questions, vent, sound off, whatever. There's not much that will put us off. We've all been there in some form.

Best of luck for you going forward,
Modelmaker
Posted 5/26/2009 1:40 PM (GMT -7)

Hi Bordercollie2,

I too want to say welcome to Healing Well. We are always sorry to see another person come along with CP, as there just seems to to be so many of us these days. However, we all are very grateful to have this forum to come to and relate with others that have been there and done that, or are getting ready to.

I have suffered with CP for a little over 20 yrs, its been on & off a few times and before we always managed to tame it enough for me to keep working. I am on SSD but not for CP but for crohns disease which is a whole different ballgame. But, the CP reared its ugly head so bad that I now have an intrathecal pain pump. I have a crazy system that does not tolerate medications of any kind very well and we ran out of options with me in the medication game. So, in June of 05 I had a pump impanted. That is why I ended up with a pump. I now have a new pain mgt dr on board and she is totally awesome. I have been more active in the 4 months that I have been her patient than I have been in years.

We all go through the grieving process of losing our jobs, our financial security, loss of income, loss of friends, sometimes it feels like we have nearly lost our lives so to speak. Its very hard to make a comeback from all of that, but it can be done, but it sure is not easy. It took me many years sorting thru the crap and I also had the help of a wonderful psychologist. Its an incredible journey with alot of speed bumps along the way.

I do hope the stim will give you some decent relief, at least something that is livable. Take care and I hope you will come back and hang out with us. Susie

Posted 5/27/2009 6:28 AM (GMT -7)
Bordercollie2

I to want to extend my Welcome to you, I am glad you found us here, and I hope you stay, and I hope you find the help and support that you seek! I think you will find as I have that this forum is much different than most, there are so many caring and compassionate people here, that willingly  help and support you, they literally can become your "family"! Coming here you will find you are never alone in your pain, frustration, and sorrow, and your "family" here will help and support you, and just be here for you, when you feel alone and need someone who understands! And WE DO!

I will post more as time goes by, right now I just wanted to add my Welcome to your thread! Good Luck to YOU!

White Beard

Posted 5/27/2009 10:11 AM (GMT -7)
BorderCollie2,I also want to welcome you to this forum.You came to the right place. I think you will find the people here are unlike any you have ever known before. What I mean by that is the people who make up this forum are the most caring,supportive,encouraging and loving souls you could possibly know. I think you will be touched,and your life will be enriched. I know that has been the case with me.I am sorry you have a reason(CP) to be here.But I am glad you are here. Please feel free to come as often as you'd like.Feel free to share. Just know that you are not alone. You will have support here as often as you need it. I wish you the best.
Anice
Posted 5/27/2009 10:56 AM (GMT -7)
Hi BorderCollie2 (I like your name!):

I just wanted to welcome you as well and to let you know that you aren't alone. I am 29 and have had back and leg pain since I was 16. I had 2 failed back surgeries and, this past January, had a spinal cord stimulator implanted. It is helping! I still have to take my pain meds but I've been able to cut back on the morphine for the break-thru pain.

I also wanted to tell you that I started a blog about my experience with the scs surgery and recovery (I have a post about certain things that really helped me post-surgery..like a shower seat..you may want to check that out to get some stuff prepared before 6/02). I'm not sure if you are into reading blogs but I have a lot of patients who are considering scs or have had one put in come and visit and leave messages and ask questions. I also have pictures of my incisions and a description of everything that happened on the day of my surgery. If you'd like to visit too...here is the address:

http://www.chronicstimulation.blogspot.com/

Let me know if you have any questions, ok? And best of luck to you!!!!

Danimal
Posted 5/27/2009 10:57 AM (GMT -7)
Hi Border Collie I too want to welcome you to the family. Its sad to see another pain sufferer. I've voiced my opinions on the SCS having been trying to get the implant for the past 4 years. Buracratic crap is all it is, dealing with WC in my home state of Wyoming and not getting far with my own toil.

My story is akin to all on here. I was a CNA at a local nursing home not far from home. I hurt my back trying to save a resident from falling and caused S1-L4 to herniate. Had fusion surgery in 2000 when doing a laminectomy didn't work, a second fusion on L4-L3 in 2002 when the herniation drove up my back and a revision on that fusion in 2003 for L4-L3 because the fusion did not heal.

Since then I have been on several medications for pain and am currently on 5 different meds to try and reduce the pain. I know what it is like to feel frustrated and totally depressed when it seems we hit brick walls with trying to get people to understand. I'm probably not making sense but believe me I do understand your pain.

Anyway I wanted to welcome you to the forum and our growing family and wish you the best of luck with your SCS device.

Scarred
Posted 6/6/2009 7:52 AM (GMT -7)
Well I now am the owner of a spine implant it was put in on Tuesday the second of June and it was painful I woke up just and the end of the procedure and they were stapling me closed they did nothing I was flopping on the table like a fish, thank you mister anesthesiologist for doing a fine job THAT REALLY HURT CHARILE. It is not turned on yet it has a week to heal first cant wait for that, I am more than ready to get them staples out. So now with all the leg pain and back pain now I have surgery pain what a great week will anything go right again? If anyone has gone through with this fell free to drop a line and add your two cents worth I would love not to feel so alone.
Posted 6/6/2009 7:43 PM (GMT -7)
Hi Bordercollie2,

I only use a little external stimulator, I just cant imagine what you are going throu. I hope you all the best, and quick recovery!
*huggs*
dani
Posted 6/7/2009 6:04 PM (GMT -7)
Hi bordercollie,

Thanks for the update. I'm glad to hear that the surgery over & done with.I hope that you have a painless, speedy recovery & that you find the scs helpful (once it is turned on of course)!

Skeye
Posted 6/16/2009 2:27 PM (GMT -7)
Hi gang hope all is getting better with all of you. To keep you in the loop of what is going on with me and my implant, I got my staples out today and that was not the best thing I have done this week but it is done with and I am on the road to a better life, I hope. Since they turned on the stimulator things have been going pretty well the pain is all but gone most of the day, but I have really bad bouts of pain only once or twice a day, that is much better than having it nagging all day. I could walk around the block for the first time in about two years that was nice i took the dogs with me, after the walk of course the pain hit me pretty hard but it only lasted for maybe a haft hour, that i can live with. They tell me as it heals and grows into my spine that it will get better. Its not pain free but it had made it more live able. Thanks again to all who have sent words of encouragement through all this I will keep you all posted on the progress I am making and I will let anyone know if it is worth it if any of you are thinking of getting one put in till later I AM OUT.
Bordercollie2 turn yeah
Posted 6/17/2009 2:32 PM (GMT -7)
Congrates on the positive outcome of your implant. Hopefully in a few more weeks you will be able to run a marathon..lol

Laurie
Posted 6/17/2009 9:49 PM (GMT -7)
Hi Bordercollie:

I am so happy to hear that the SCS is helping!!  Please keep us updated on your progress.

Lorie 

Posted 6/17/2009 9:55 PM (GMT -7)
Bordercollie,
So glad to read that the worst is over, and now you're on the mend and getting some of the positive results from the SCS.

I hope you continue to improve!

PaLady
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