I am a retired RN and know exactly what you are going through. I had a back injury and ended up with surgery which put a stop to my ICU nursing career. I went into home health and by the time I retired, some twenty five years later, I was the administrator. Still, between the back pain and the fibro, I couldn't work past the age of 50. Last year I put my license into retirement, which was a very hard thing for me to do, but I did it, knowing full well I can never work again. I am 57, on disability and take percocet every four hours for the pain.
My heart goes out to you cs, I will be praying for you and hope that things get better for you. The pain doc I have does a urine once in a blue moon but you still feel like an addict. I know what you mean. But this is the best place for you --with a pain doc. I was hesitant too when my PCP first referred me, but now I am so glad I am there.
As for the snot with the "we have to keep the lights on" comment, I have been there too. Makes you just want to strangle them. But being a Christian woman, I don't. But it gets to ya , doesn't it??
I will be following your posts and am glad you are here and hope for the best for you. Glad you joined our CP family.
Moderator Chronic Pain
Believe in yourself. Be kind to fellow humans and animals. Take time to smell the flowers and the coffee.
And by all means, when you are down, ask me for help. I will be there.