You have anawful lot of thoughts racing through your mind...and along with CP, that is a major storm brewing. You sound like you need help, not only with money troubles, but with Depression as well. Thoughts of suicide are scary, not only to your family but to you also. "If only" "If only" those words creep into all of our minds here...We have wishes of not being in pain, of making it easier on those around us...But taking your life will create more problems for the ones we leave behind.
Your Dr. is a JackASS!! And I think you should definitley look for a more reputable one in your area. He sounds like he is only worried about money and not YOU... Some Dr.'s are like that and we should be able to weed them out. But sometimes we have to go through several before we find one that we can put our trust and our lives in their hands...without worrying.
Sometimes you have to take that first step and tell that Dr. where to go....No, don't do that...but find another Dr. to go to, We deserve to be Pain free (almost at least).
I hate Boats!!!!
Post Lamenectomy Syndrome, Spinal Stenosis, DDD....
1999 Hemi Lamenectomy/2005 Spinal Fusion(L4-S1)
Methadone 120 mg. a day/15 mg. Oxycodone as needed(up to 4 x a day)
High Blood Pressure: Lisinopril HCTZ 10 mg. daily
Type 2 Diabetes: (March 16, 2009)
Metformin HCL ER 1000 mg. at night..Glipizide 5mg. 2X in the morning