I'm sorry to hear that you will have to wait another week before getting the implant. I know how frustrating it can be when a procedure you were looking forward to gets postponed (by "looking forward to" I mean looking forward to the potential for relief, but not
the procedure itself, which you have to go through first. More pain and discomfort are never welcomed). I also understand the problem you are facing regarding your medication schedule. I too, do a pretty good job of hiding my pain during the day. Additionally, because I am so much more active during the day, there is much more for me to "distract" myself with. But at night, all becomes quiet & my pain really hits me! You'd think your doctor would understand this. I can also understand not wanting to take medication during the day. Not because you don't desperately need it, but because it may interfere with your work, etc, and therefore, at such time, it would not be worth the side effects. Again, common sense, you'd think a PM, as well as a surgeon, would understand.
Chronic pain is not like acute pain. There is no end in sight. Yes we are always in pain, often severe, debilitating pain, but life goes on with or without us. We have to learn to deal with our pain; to incorporate it into our lives & our schedules, so to speak, rather than to succumb to it every minute of every day. It is amazing, actually, how "well" we can often mask our pain (to the untrained eye). I know that I do it every day. The only time I let my guard down is when I am alone. It is exhausting, absolutely exhausting, both mentally & physically, to pretend that you are something that you are not: that you are okay. I don't see the act of not taking pain medication during the day as an indicator that you are not in pain, or not in "severe enough" pain. I see it as a brave, bold act, and a well thought out decision as to how you can best live your life with CP & not let the pain, and all that comes with it, beat you. Sometimes I feel like doctors just need to step back & look at things from the patient's point of view. Experiencing just one day of what we go through would give them much better insight, and allow us, the patients, better treatment.
Many hugs to you fatherjohn! You are a very strong, devoted spirit. Don't let these arogant doctors make you think otherwise! And don't let them bully you into something that you are not ready for. I know...easier said than done.
Post Edited (skeye) : 5/28/2009 11:25:23 PM (GMT-6)