Hi there! My name is Dani. It is very nice to meet you. I am glad you found Healing Well Comminuty. I hope, over time, you will be able to get your friend to come here too. This is a great place for support & knowladge.
It is hard for me to respond to this post, but it is important .. here goes.
I, too, did not handle pain in my life well. I was very angry. about everything. Why did *I* have to be in chronic pain? Why not that poo brain drive like a maniac on the free way? Or the seemly hundreds of folks who I 'thought' could certianly benefit from my pain... ANYONE else but me. Not me. *I* wanted to live. *I* had planns. *I* was too strong to let pain get in the way.
Now here comes the dangerous thinking.
If I ignore it , it will go away. Noone else believe me maybe im only in a litttle pain and whinning. *I* am not whinning. My friends are abandoning me. They dont love me. Im not loved. Im not good enough to not be in pain. I dont deserve a pain free life.
This is that part that folks recoganize... often too late.
I dont want to get out of bed. I dont want to smile. I don't want to eat. I dont want to see the sun rise... The pain is too awfull. Everything is pains fault. If pain would go away I would be "me" again.
And here we have behaviour therapies. I saw a pain psychologist for a very very long time. We re defined "Me". We worked on physical responses to pain, mental responses to pain, emotional responses to pain. Over and over again until my responses became unconsciously automatic. I was taught every aspect of pain. I was taught Bio Feedback and completly changed my enitre body's respons to pain. Peroid. Every fiber of who I am has benefitted from Miss Mary the pain psychologist. She is/was the MOST important part of my pain management. Her skills coupled with other treatments... I'm not saying I "like" my pain.
Its a part of me. Not what defines me.
But who got me to Miss Mary? My spine specialist got grumpy right back! To me?!? And off I went to meet Miss Mary for the first time. So .. It took someone who was not (at the time) connected to me personally to tell me. "You need more tools for living."
Hopefully I stayed on toppic. I really am very glad to meet you. I hope over time perhaps? You can get your friend to come aswell. Having support group is... very much needed.
And hopefully my new friends here on the chronic pain forum dont think im weirdo