Really Bad Day

Well the pain B/T Thursday and I have not been able to get it under control. I am really hurting and I wish I was just dead. After 3 surgries, nerve block's, RF ablation and direct shots into the groin I cannot control the pain anymore. This all started in 2004 with inquinal hernia surgery. It has been determined that there is nerve damage in my right groin. After the last surgery in Feb. I was pain free for the first time in many years. I felt I had my life back. It only lasted 3 months and in June the pain started again. I have put my wife and family through many years of bad times because of me. I am just overwhelmed and do not know who to turn to or how to fix this problem. I have not been able to fix anyother health problems because I keep having to take time off to try and fix this. Sorry for the vent but I have just been beat up.

Shooter, I am so sorry you are having such a hard time with your pain. You stated you wish that you were dead. That statement concerns me. Living with chronic pain completely changes who you were before and it can wreck your life. It is almost as if it were like a tornado in a way with all the havic it brings to you and your family. You are not alone. I want you to hear this, and to believe it. You do have people here in this forum who will care for you, listen to you and offer you encouragement and support. Although we all have many different forms of pain, it is still pain. It has brought changes in all of our lives that are different to what our way of life was before. Please try hard to pull out of this. There is help out there that is available to you. It is kind of like imagining a hand reaching out to you...try to picture that in you head...grab that hand and hold on to it. Please contact your doctor and set up an appt. to go in and see him/her. If you are not on an antidepressant, please ask to be put on one. Discuss with your doctor the depression and hopelessness that you are having. I would also suggest maybe getting some counseling. Don't feel like there is something wrong with you for feeling the way you feel. It is very common to have these thoughts but PLEASE don't act on them. Please get help for yourself for you and for your family. I reallly do feel for you. I can understand how you feel although my pain is different from yours. Depression and chronic pain go hand in hand. It can be treated. Both can and should be treated. Are you under the care of pain management? If not, then maybe you should consider going to one. They can help you to control the pain. When our pain levels are so high and not under control, it tends to cause our emotions and brain to go on overload. There is only so much a person can take. Please take the steps to get your pain somewhat under control. I think that will help you to feel better overall. I know when pain levels are high, it can almost make us reach a point of hopelessness and cause so much fatigue and drain us of any strength we have. I have been to that point myself many times. I do understand that. But you do have the strength to do this. You have the strength to go on. It lies deep within each of us. Grab a hold of it and pull yourself up. You can do this. I hope I haven't offended you. And I hope you don't feel that I have overstepped a boundary here. I don't specifically "know" you, but I do care for you. I felt alot of pain in reading your post... I wish you the best. And I want you to know that you are not alone.
Anice

Hi Shooter61:

I am very sorry for how much pain you are having to endure.  I have been dealing with chronic pain for almost 13 years, but for the last 3 months, my pain has steadily been at a 9/10, and just a few days ago, I posted very similar words. 

There are many times when I feel like I am a huge burden to my family, and that they would be better off without me, but at the same time I know that they would be devastated, and they are what keeps me going. When I have days like this, I post how I'm feeling, and then I read peoples replies over and over, and it helps me get through.  We really do know what you are going through, and we really do care!

Lorie  

 

 

 

Shooter,

Well, first of all...You have not done this to your family.  Your pain has done this.  It isn't your fault and you need to remember that.  We have all been down Guilt ridden Ave. at one point or another...it does nobody any good.  We have been through enough without blaming ourselves for every bad thing that happens.  If it was at all possible we would do anything to rid ourselves of the pain so that we and our friends and family could have a normal life.  But we can't do much to make it go away. 

 

All we can do is make the best of a horrific situation.  Our families love us, they loved us before we had pain, and they will love us throughout. 

 

Lose the guilt and try to make sure that your family knows how much you appreciate everything they do for you.  We could all do that...

 

Me.

---

 I hate Boats!!!!

 

Post Lamenectomy Syndrome, Spinal Stenosis, DDD....

1999 Hemi Lamenectomy/2005 Spinal Fusion(L4-S1)

Methadone 120 mg. a day/15 mg. Oxycodone as needed(up to 4 x a day)

High Blood Pressure: Lisinopril HCTZ 10 mg. daily

Type 2 Diabetes: (March 16, 2009)

Metformin HCL ER 1000 mg. at night..Glipizide 10mg. 2X in the morning

Lantus 20 units at bedtime with Solostar Pen                                                                   

 

Lorie,

Today was a better day. As long as the pain level staysat a certain level I can function at work. I hate having to take my methadone daily. Thank you for your thoughts.