Really Bad Day

Well the pain B/T Thursday and I have not been able to get it under control. I am really hurting and I wish I was just dead. After 3 surgries, nerve block's, RF ablation and direct shots into the groin I cannot control the pain anymore. This all started in 2004 with inquinal hernia surgery. It has been determined that there is nerve damage in my right groin. After the last surgery in Feb. I was pain free for the first time in many years. I felt I had my life back. It only lasted 3 months and in June the pain started again. I have put my wife and family through many years of bad times because of me. I am just overwhelmed and do not know who to turn to or how to fix this problem. I have not been able to fix anyother health problems because I keep having to take time off to try and fix this. Sorry for the vent but I have just been beat up.

I am so sorry about your pain experiences. Unfortunately, I and many of our other friends here in the Chronic Pain Forum of Helling Welling. For me, when my pain is extreme and medications are just not cutting it - I have found the personal meditation and meditation cds to be very helpful. I used to laugh at the idea that listening to a tape could help you manage pain and hopeless feelings. If I were you, I would continue to try and find a PM specialist or physician that could help you either by controling or solve your pain issues. But until then, consider some of the alternatives - biofeedback - relaxation tapes - breathing exercises. Anything that gets you through a long night of pain is worth a try.


Good luck and maybe some of our other members have some suggestions for you.

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Stella Marie

Co-Forum Moderator for Chronic Pain

Rare neurodegenerative /movement disorder called “Multiple System Atrophy”.  Mobility issues,, neuropathic pain,  spasticity, central apnea, collagenous colitis, pain, swallowing and respitory  involvement,  Implants: intrathecal pump  & neurostimulator.  Extra features: O₂ & wheelchair

 

Shooter, I am so sorry you are having such a hard time with your pain. You stated you wish that you were dead. That statement concerns me. Living with chronic pain completely changes who you were before and it can wreck your life. It is almost as if it were like a tornado in a way with all the havic it brings to you and your family. You are not alone. I want you to hear this, and to believe it. You do have people here in this forum who will care for you, listen to you and offer you encouragement and support. Although we all have many different forms of pain, it is still pain. It has brought changes in all of our lives that are different to what our way of life was before. Please try hard to pull out of this. There is help out there that is available to you. It is kind of like imagining a hand reaching out to you...try to picture that in you head...grab that hand and hold on to it. Please contact your doctor and set up an appt. to go in and see him/her. If you are not on an antidepressant, please ask to be put on one. Discuss with your doctor the depression and hopelessness that you are having. I would also suggest maybe getting some counseling. Don't feel like there is something wrong with you for feeling the way you feel. It is very common to have these thoughts but PLEASE don't act on them. Please get help for yourself for you and for your family. I reallly do feel for you. I can understand how you feel although my pain is different from yours. Depression and chronic pain go hand in hand. It can be treated. Both can and should be treated. Are you under the care of pain management? If not, then maybe you should consider going to one. They can help you to control the pain. When our pain levels are so high and not under control, it tends to cause our emotions and brain to go on overload. There is only so much a person can take. Please take the steps to get your pain somewhat under control. I think that will help you to feel better overall. I know when pain levels are high, it can almost make us reach a point of hopelessness and cause so much fatigue and drain us of any strength we have. I have been to that point myself many times. I do understand that. But you do have the strength to do this. You have the strength to go on. It lies deep within each of us. Grab a hold of it and pull yourself up. You can do this. I hope I haven't offended you. And I hope you don't feel that I have overstepped a boundary here. I don't specifically "know" you, but I do care for you. I felt alot of pain in reading your post... I wish you the best. And I want you to know that you are not alone.
Anice

 

Hi Shooter61:

Thank you all  for your kind words. I do feel like a burden to my family, but they do keep me going. I saw my PM doctor Tuesday and we our going to try a block directly into the groin area. He thinks that might help. I am trying to convince my surgeon to consider surgery again sooner then he wants to wait. I am also going to see another surgeon to get a second opinion. I still hold hope because after my surgery in Feb. I was pain free for 3 months. It was the best time I have had in 5 years. I was able to work in the yard again and go for long walks. No I just feel like a cripple again.

 

 

Shooter,

Well, first of all...You have not done this to your family.  Your pain has done this.  It isn't your fault and you need to remember that.  We have all been down Guilt ridden Ave. at one point or another...it does nobody any good.  We have been through enough without blaming ourselves for every bad thing that happens.  If it was at all possible we would do anything to rid ourselves of the pain so that we and our friends and family could have a normal life.  But we can't do much to make it go away. 

 

All we can do is make the best of a horrific situation.  Our families love us, they loved us before we had pain, and they will love us throughout. 

 

Lose the guilt and try to make sure that your family knows how much you appreciate everything they do for you.  We could all do that...

 

Me.

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 I hate Boats!!!!

 

Post Lamenectomy Syndrome, Spinal Stenosis, DDD....

1999 Hemi Lamenectomy/2005 Spinal Fusion(L4-S1)

Methadone 120 mg. a day/15 mg. Oxycodone as needed(up to 4 x a day)

High Blood Pressure: Lisinopril HCTZ 10 mg. daily

Type 2 Diabetes: (March 16, 2009)

Metformin HCL ER 1000 mg. at night..Glipizide 10mg. 2X in the morning

Lantus 20 units at bedtime with Solostar Pen                                                                   

 

Hi Shooter61:

I was just wondering how you are doing today, I hope a little better at least?

I wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Lorie

Lorie,

Shooter61,
It's good to hear that your pain management is working to try to help you and with hope this injections might
help, when will you be getting them?
Also, many many of us here also go to Pain management psychologist, have you considered that?
it might help with your family situation and it can take awhile finding a good pain management psychologist,
and of course we all care about you here as well...
Good luck with the injections...
lots and lots of well wishes and HUGZ...
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Shooter61)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc, Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's and Ocular Migraines

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Shooter -
I can completely understand your feelings. The thing I enjoy most about this board is reading that I am not alone. Just wish I was smart enough to help! Right now I am glad I am alone, cause I really don't want anyone touching me anyway. I love to spend time with my kids, but sadly, I can only handle it the every other weekend I have them as it is. I faintly remember what it was like to have that much energy...

I hope today is better, I understand the day to day game, waiting to see if it is a good one or a bad one.

Shooter..

I believe all of us feel as you do at one point or another. Some of us more often. I take two different anti-depressants for my pain I'm usually a very happy person but even I get effected by the pain. It seems to just eat me up at times. I have found how I coup with it. I read, I get lost in a story at times thats the only way to deal with pain. My pain is throughout my urological system, nerve pain at that.

Me... Had a wonderful point, you didn't do anything the pain is. My family is so understanding that it makes my heart sore thinking about it.

Good days and bad days are our new normal.

I hope you find some relief if not physically then mentally.

Laurie

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Kidney Diseases and Disorders

BTW Welcome to HealingWell forums....

Shooter, I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. We do care and we are here to support you. When are you having the injections? Just wondering so we will know. Take care of yourself and post when you feel up to it.
Anice

Sorry to hear you're in such bad pain

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Oxycodone Withdrawal

Nawny, I want to welcome you to this forum. Please start your own thread and introduce yourself. We would like to all get to know you. I am glad you came.
Anice