My church teaches that all loans are contrary to our faith. I don't expect everyone else to subscribe to that belief, but gosh it sure seems applicable now. There are a lot of people I know who have rented their whole lives & pay cash for everything (by cash I mean that every bill is paid in full by the end of the month). They are the happiest people I know. They work b/c they like to work, not b/c they are stuck in a home they hate, with mounds of credit card debt or anything else. I'm not preaching at anyone, but I think for me that really is the way to go.
Separate from my faith, I believe in personal accountability. A large part of my issue (beside the mortgage) was medical bills. We have plenty of free and low-cost care available in Chicago. I could have gone to the county clinic, rather than the private pain clinic & not have run up such high medical expenses. The county clinic is about 15% of what my PM charges (& he is not at all unreasonable), but I didn't want to wait in line & was nervous about the constant tB outbreaks at the hospital & free clinics, so I talked myself into continuing with my private PM even though I really couldn't afford him. Even with insurance, I ran up $17K in medical expenses. I will be paying it off for a very long time. Between those payments ($300/month), my other bills, and the ever-increasing condo assessments due to my deadbeat neighbors, I just can't make my mortgage anymore. I don't have anyone to blame but myself. I knew what I was signing. I knew it was more than the 33% debt-income ratio that even the most aggressive financial planners recommend. I just kinda figured I would be okay. I wouldn't keep getting worse. I wouldn't pick a horrible, good-for-nothing insurance plan one year that would practically bankrupt me... well, you get the idea. I just kinda assumed things would be okay. But life is NEVER like that. Whatever can go wrong will. Those who are sick or in pain tend to get worse before they get better. There are always unplanned expenses. There will always be good-for-nothing deadbeats who move into your condo building when it is least convenient & ruin things for everybody.
The whole thing is just so frustrating. I can't change the past & I'm okay with that. I know I can't just keep looking back forever. That's why I'm trying to work something out with my mortgage company. I can't change the past; all I can do is promise not to make the same mistake again. So I can do that & offer to try to figure out a way to repay what I promised, albeit under different terms, but my bank so far has just been completely unwilling to even try to work something out. I'm meeting with them, Freddie Mac, my PMI provider & so on next Saturday, so hopefully something will come of that. Maybe seeing my hobbling over to their table will win me some sympathy points. ;) Well, one can dream, right? :)
Good luck working everything out with your insurance. It sounds like maybe there is a shred of hope that between Wal-Mart & this insurance you could get some sort of care. I would suggest samples, but I know my PM said that the samples people have all but stopped coming. The Voltaren people still bring their gel, but that's about it. I will keep my fingers crossed that you get lucky & somehow manage to find some place that will help you find a way to get some sort of pain meds that help w/out too many side effects. :)
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