Living With Chronic Pain 24/7 One Minute At A Time!

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New Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/26/2009 2:53 PM (GMT -6)   
I am new member and there are several topic post I can surely bond with. I have been living with Chronic Pain 24/7 for 19 years. I was Hit In The Line of Duty. Broken Back, Hands, Feet & Internal Injuries. I live with 9 Chronic Illnesses and take 14 medications to maintain life. I can surely feel for each one here as I have been reading the post. It is refreshing to have a place to come and share and read others and the issues one deals with as no two are the same but share a common bond. I learned a long time ago to never 'Negate Life' or it will eat one up and spit ya out in real time. I always Keep Hope Alive and thankful for this minute right now. Spinal Cord is the Switchboard of the Body and does that Switchboard ever do a number on the body. My broken back was from L1 through L5. I am also a Cancer survivor before I was Hit In The Line of Duty. That was 30 years ago. So I feel when I was Hit In The Line of Duty my life flashed before me in less than a minute but after 3 years of in and out of hospitals and the pain and all I went through has made me a stronger person to deal with so much on the platter of life. I am bed bound 99% of my life and have an electric wheel chair to get around my home which is in restoration mode and being made disabled accessible. That is not easy to be doing since I live on such a small disability monthly for life. One can not get more when the price of everything keeps going up every month for several years. Where I live is very rural and no help. I lost my home I had restored for 6 years and it was 2 months after I was Hit In The Line of Duty. Hollywood & TV make the public think we are taken care of for life after we are Hit In The Line of Duty. I wish that was the case but it is not. 99% of us live in Poverty or below the Poverty level. It does not matter America is in the worst Depression since the 1929 Crash Market Depression hit. Still it makes it so much harder to get the things one needs to maintain the basics. There was a time we could get the basics covered and have some put aside but that was just over 8 years ago that all went out the window and is going to take several generations to undo the damge that was done. I do not know if it ever will recover but at least someone is now trying to make a difference. I have nothing against the 1% Rich but they do not appear to want to share their toys with anyone else.
I know if I had not had cancer I would of never gotten the doctors (9) that have cared for me through the years. As it was a real blessing. I went around with a broken back for 3 months yelling in pain 24/7 and the Workman Comp Doctors were saying, "all you have is pulled muscles. Hands and Feet in Cast with major Internal Injuries and my back was broken from L1 to L5. Damage was done after got my family doctor to give referal to second apinion to get out from under the Workman Comp Doctors. Sad how they allowed so much damage to be done when if they had told the truth from the X-Rays I could of gotten better care but Workman Comp doctors do not work for you they work for who you worked for. But one can not live in the past but that is my sharing as new member here. Chronic Pain I have had to learn is your best friend if you want the friend or not! : rolleyes
At least I got a great Neurosurgeon and he could read X-Rays' right off the bat when he saw them. He blew his top to think of all they had put me through. The rest is history. I see the world from my bed on TV and have old computer that is hanging in there so can read the newspapers and e-mail others and now pull up this great web site. I look forward to sharing and helping others when ever I can.  I always say 'Medical' is my middle name! wink I am a very unselfish person and always think about the needs of others even if it causes me stress the benefits of helping others in networking and being there to listen is priceless one can do for another soul. I learned a long time ago that there is stress from positive and negative in life so can not ignore the person have always been for others even with all I have to live with. It is I know very hard for anyone when they 1st have to deal with Chronic Pain and other medical issues when they were so able body before. I have to laugh at myself. From the neck up it is still me but from the neck down I do not know who's body I have! tongue
Life is never easy for anyone and if anyone ever tells me they have never been sick or had anything happen to them in their life, I get away from them as fast as I can because I do not want to be around them when the big piano from the sky falls on them! smilewinkgrin
If we all live to be 100 years young, life goes by fast so we have to make the best of any situation and take life one minute at a time. If I can not deal with something I put it up on the shelf of life. Take it down from the shelf when I can. Medical Emergencies are the only thing that breaks the pattern. Then I regroup and maintain one best can. I can not think of one person in my journey I know who does not have major health issues.
Well, I look forward to HealingWell board here and hope I can when I can put my 2 cent's worth in to help or reflect upon when is called for. I have learned life is an amazing gift but it can sure change in less than a minute and then you go from there as there is no manual to go by as you learn as you go. I have learned so much and never thought I would be having to take on more than I already had until I was Hit In The Line of Duty. Many might think one's fellow Brothers and Sisters in L.E. would come to one's rescue in need but that is not the reality in general. In my profession once we are out of sight we are out of others minds. They throw us out with the Bath Water. smhair
So you have to make a new life and go from there. I have no regrets as I have worked since I was very young and put 24 years into my professional life. You learn through the years new ways to do things and the things you can not do one has to accept and go from there. No sense in beating one's self up over it as it will only cause stress and we all live with enough stress. So hello everyone. I am MountainMan and I am up 22 hours of every 24 hour day. Some times I get a nap in the afternoon or evening but that is not the daily norm. So if I feel tired I take that nap or if it goes 10 or 15 minutes by I am on the 3rd or 4th wind and wait until I exhaust myself to finally get to sleep for a few hours then my Spinal Cord wakes me up like an alarm clock! Never lets me down. Ouch! shocked
"Take Life One Minute At A Time as there are 1440 Minutes in Every 24 Hour Day To Take Life A Day At A Time!"

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 7/26/2009 4:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi, MountainMan,
Welcome to the Chronic Pain forum of Healing Well. Your post brought tears to my eyes, and the sad thing is I know it's all true about not being supported when you rightfully should have been. You and others who protect us should also be protected when you're injured, but as you've learned the hard way life is not fair. You will likely have some things in common with Fatherjohn, but I'll let him speak for himself.

Despite all you're coping with, I found such inspiration from reading your post. Your attitude is so admirable and I love the statement that from the neck up is still you. That may be something for all of us to ponder, regardless of what's going on from the neck down.

Makes me want to scream how you were treated initially, and the W.C. issue. That seems to be the case with nearly everyone I read here who has to deal with worker's comp.

On a positive note, you have found the best support system on the web, IMHO! This site has been a godsend for me and I know many others. We're not doctors, but this family here is sometimes the best medicine available!

Again, welcome.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 7/26/2009 6:06 PM (GMT -6)   
MountainMan, I want to welcome you here to the forum. I really do think you will come to love being here as much as I and others do. It is so wonderful to have friends who share the same struggles of this chronic often times constant pain. We do care. And I am so glad that you found this site. I am so sorry that you have a reason to be here. I am sorry you are faced with the situation you are in.
Your post was very touching and so wonderfully written. I thank you sharing it with us. I think it is horrible the way you were treated. And to have your back broken...
Are you under the care of a pain management doctor? I hope that you are on the meds that are available that can help you live without constant pain.
It appears I am having an "off" day. Usually, I ramble on and on-going a mile a minute with words. Today, I can barely make a sentence... I just wanted you to know that I do welcome you here. And I look forward to reading more about you.

White Beard
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3696
   Posted 7/26/2009 6:13 PM (GMT -6)   

Welcome to the HealingWell CP forum! PALady is right I think you have came to the right place I think we have one of the best forums around, and we most definitely have the most caring and compassionate people that you will find anywhere! You mentioned you are a cancer survivor, what type of cancer did you have? You also mentioned you broke your back L1 thru L5 is that what made you a paraplegic? What type of surgery did you have? And is that what is causing a majority of your pain? Hope you don't mind the questions, but it just helps to get to know you a bit better!

Glad you found us! Again I welcome you!

White Beard
Moderator Chronic Pain
I'm Retired USAF, went back to school and became an RN, and now am on full disalbility!--Degenerative Disc (affecting mostly the thorasic disc but all levels involved), C6/7 laminectomy/diskectomy& fusion, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications: Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 999
   Posted 7/28/2009 4:40 AM (GMT -6)   

Greetings MountainMan, This is a great place to find comfort, encouragement, support, laughs and even give back the same things. I to am here after being thrown out with the brown water. My career there ended 11 tears ago and now I still keep busy and positive most the time. After being injured, my department tried to replace me in 2 weeks and then relationship went down from there. It was six months until the state put me out on a total and permanent disability. Those stories on TV about how well they take care of their own are so touching aren't they. I still had three younger kids and I did not have a choice but to work. WC did a study and told me that I could go back to work part time but I had to find a job that I did not sit or stand. That only left one position and I told them I was not working in that postion. People I arrested were treated better than I was, I hope you had a better reception. And that outrageous pay they heap on you. Yea I know. Enough said.

I currently direct a school for drug addicts and alcoholics. They have to have been clean and sober 1 year to enter the school. Our initial programs are 1 year so if the go through our programs, they can then come in to our program for 2 more years. I had one guy come in off the street and ask me if I ever arrested him.

You mention that from the neck up you are the same but from the neck down you don't know who it is. Many of us also fight the battle of not being as alert, sharp and quick thinking as we were before. The pain and the meds take their toll on that as well as other parts of life. Many times we greet one another here for the first time and say we are sorry you find yourself here. But I am so glad that I am here as it give me so much purpose as well as help as we deal with issues here and we tend to understand what we go through together. I am usually pretty positive as that help one get through life in better shape.I will look forward to talking to you more. I also have a email listed in my profile, feel free to use it. Blessings !

New Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/28/2009 2:49 PM (GMT -6)   

So good to hear from each of you. Would of responded sooner but yesterday the healingwell web site would crash on me each time I tried to connect. That is computer land, as it has it's off days also.

I have 9 chronic illesses but not going to list them all today. Spinal Cord was broken when I was Hit In The Line of Duty to add the 9 chronic illnesses that followed in real time! Ouch! Was asked about what kind of cancer I had. It was Hodgkins Cancer and I had a 1% chance of surving with surgery. Chemo or Raditation was not an option at all. They told me I had 20% going into surgery of surving but when I came out and they told me they got it all plus my spleen was 6 times enlarged and had to also come out also was when my doctor told me I really only had a 1% chance of surving. That is what I call a miracle. So did he! You do not get doctors to use the miracle word very much. I was 26 years young then and it was then I knew if I got through the cancer I would go into the profession I had always wanted to go into. So after I healed up I went into a very special agency in L.E. and loved every minute 24/7. It was after I was Hit In The Line of Duty that reality set in. We do not have a manual to go by when we are Hit In The Line of Duty. The legal system does not have a huge list of lawyers that specialize in L.E. Agents and Officers needs. To hunt and search for the right lawyers is like finding a needle in a hay stack. That was all a huge train wreak. The person who Hit Me In The Line of Duty was 19 years old and he was charged and arrested but never served one night in jail. He was also found guilty. His Daddy who was a what one would call a Daddy War Bucks paid everyone off. I never knew what happened to him and I never wished any ill on him. I even 3 years after forgave him for what he did but not to his face or through correspondence. I just did it in my heart. I had to move forward and leave that baggage behind. If you do not it will eat you up and spit you out. I never have wished him any ill. I believe what goes around comes around. No good comes from illgotten gain. So what happened to me in less than a minute can never be put back together. I have with the help of others to put myself back together the best I can. No one can do any more than this.

I am blessed to have 9 amazing doctors. They care very much about me and I tell them all to take all the vacations they need and time off so we can all live a long life together until the next part of the journey. But if I need one of them I can call any of them and they will return call in 10 minutes no matter if they are in their office or another place on earth!

I realize, 'Bad things happen to good people'. Interesting to hear fellow brother on the post here. Sounds like great giving back to others in the program you run. I was also in the A.F. during Viet Nam and was able to exit stage left with honorable discharge a.s.a.p. as Nixon was getting flooded with Watergate!

Life is what you make it as the best one can. I see on TV and the news we have over 50 million Americans with no Health Insurance and the far right is wanting to keep talking about it for the rest of the decade. As those 50 million need the health care now. It does upset me as we are to be the richest country in the world and we allow elected officals to keep our fellow citizens from the basic health care. There is no logic that makes this right.

I did find it sooooooo interesting when some of the far right Senators and Congresspersons said, "we can not provide health care for everyone who can not afford it." Then in the same period they said, "we provide the best Health Care for our American Troops and Congress members." Well if they can provide this to millions of our fellow Brothers and Sisters in the Military and in Congress then they just shot themselves in the foot that said they can not provide Health Care for those who do not have it. We are no in the Health Care business." LOL! What an oxymoron moment to hear. Well that is my 2 cent's worth today. We have to keep them in the right direction in Washington D.C. or they will keep all the cookies for themselves. :-)

There is a lot I can share about myself but as we all have good days and days that are not so great. Today I am very depressed, sad & stressed and a truck load of pain. I have 2 types of pain meds for the chronic pain. I spread them out or they do not help to take the edge off. To answer question on Pain Management. I did go to Pain Management in hospital for 6 weeks. I have amazing coping skills.

I do not produce enough siliva even drinking over a gallon of water each day and other liquids all water based. I am on 14 medications for my spinal cord and 9 chronic illnesses but do not take them all each day. Some are for when needed and others I have to take to maintain. So from all this I have had 3 times in the past 7 years I have almost lost all my teeth due to not producing enough siliva. I have lost all 5 of my crown teeth and a few others. Right now all my gums and teeth are infected and going to have all my teeth cleaned and then another trip to have some taken out. I can live with out some teeth. I just do not want a thing to happen to my front teeth because I like my smile!

My journey has been an amazing trip and how I am still here is a miracle this minute. I have lost a lot but thankful to have again my own roof and small home being restored and made disabled accessible. This has and is no easy task to accomplish. When I was able body I could restore anything as I did with my former house I lost. It took me 6 years to restore it then 2 months after I was Hit In The Line of Duty. The up side of that was my home was completed to deal with all the medical issues I had to deal with. To have lost my home after 3 years then get another small home to be another Handyperson Special has been a bit overwhelming to say the least. There is no help from National, State or County. I have done all the research and know every agency and groups in America that one would think of off the bat. So have been only able to maintain my mortage, utilities, insurance, food (limited) and disabled vehicle. There is just no help donated any more. In the cities you have a better option at some help but in rural America your on your own. Being I am a private person in many ways trusting anyone is a huge road block. I have seen it all in society and I have my recall that has kept me safe from many situations. I trust my doctors who have been there for me 24/7 always and hospital and grocery store and drug store. I get my mail every 7 to 10 days at my post office as there is no delivery to a mail box where I live. That is good because getting medications through the mail from the drug store it is safe at the post office when I feel up to going down to get them. If in a Mail Box outside hot or cold weather would not be good and is a distance from house to main road.

I hope everyone is doing the best they can today and tonight. Just remember anything past this minute is not needed to deal with. Focus on this minute right now. Take Care and sorry I could not respond yesterday. I could get e-mails and pull up regular web sites I use but healing well site and my computer were not having a good day. LOL! :-) That stressed me out because I like this site and every one here. Thankful it is working for me today. I have a really old computer but is second one that was old so lets hope it keeps going. Keep Hope Alive! MountainMan!
"Take Life One Minute At A Time as there are 1440 Minutes in Every 24 Hour Day To Take Life A Day At A Time!"

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 7/28/2009 3:15 PM (GMT -6)   
It's hard for me to find words to respond to your post. I think the best I can do is to say how inspirational you are. With all you have been and continue to go through, to still have your eyes open to the world is amazing. I am so glad you have found us!

I am also speechless when I read how you and fatherjohn were treated when acting to protect the rest of "us". I guess with all I've learned in life I shouldn't be surprised, but it is appalling. You're right that many of us probably thought L.E. officers would be taken care of by the brother/sisterhood.

BTW, my computer has been doing the same thing the past few weeks, so you're not alone. I've had to switch to a different application (heaven knows the fact I even thought to do this was astounding considering I'm so naive about these machines we use to connect to eachother!). Anyway, it helps me to know I'm not the only one either. That's exactly what happens - I have an older Mac. And I feel like I'm going through withdrawal if I can't access the site for more than a day!

While I agree with everything you said about the health care issue, you might want to check the forum rules about political discussion. I think we all skirt it sometimes, but we're not supposed to get into full fledged politics. Still, health care is a critical issue. I am one of the 50 million you referred to. My COBRA coverage just ended June 30, and just a few weeks before I learned I had Barrett's esophagus with some mild cell changes. So I have to have the meds and continued surveyllance. I'm unemployed and applying for SSD. It's a scary time, but somehow I'll get through it.

Again, I'm so glad you're here. It sounds like you should write a book - seriously.


New Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 7/29/2009 12:58 AM (GMT -6)   
I really feel sorry for you... you said that you had a problem with spinal chord.. I think you can go for physiotherapy treatments... Recently i came to know about while surfing the net.. They give customized pain treatments online.. i think this can help you more...

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 7/29/2009 2:06 AM (GMT -6)   
     Dear Mountian Man,
     Good evening. My name is Dani. It is very nice to meet you. I am glad you found your way to Healing Well. Even better the Chronic Pain forum! Were the fun ones! *shoooosh*  smilewinkgrin
     I read your first post, then I read the replies. And when I saw you posted again, I thought WHOA NELLY! I better get my greetings in quick! That second post will take me a bit to read I'm thinkin.  :-)  
     After reading your first post, I am deeply shaken you are not recieving more help. It reminds me that I do need to be much more involved in where and how my local tax dollars are being spent. I am so very sorry that you have had to fight so hard not just for your physical life, but for your quality of continued life aswell. You must be a very strong soul. *huggs*
     Add in more than 2cents! Better yet, chat night is every thursday night! You should pencil it into your calendar and come hang out with us. smilewinkgrin  
      Okay! Im gonna go read your other post now. Really is very nice to meet you!
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,  
And sorry I could not travel both  
And be one traveler, long I stood

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