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Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 8/10/2009 11:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Good morning friends, I wanted to share something with you. I went to counseling this morning. Last week I went but it was not for very long. It was pretty much an introduction and for her to tell me what she hopes this will bring to me and then to make another appt.
Today was the 1st talking one. It went pretty well and I will go back next week. And the good thing about that is it is on Monday. That is the day I have my doctor appt. and hope that he'll release me to go back to work. The way I see it is that if it doesn't go as I have planned, I'll be able to talk/cry about it that day with the counselor!!!  For the past couple months, I have cried buckets that day and for several days after b/c of the disappointment of not being released. That will be a good day to go. Hopefully this time will be different and I'll be happy when I leave the doctors' office. But, we'll see.
Anyway the counselor was asking questiions and such. One of the ones she asked was who do I turn to for my support. I told her that it would be a chronic pain forum on the internet. I said that may sound strange to her that it wouldn't be someone in my family. She asked why or how it helps. I said that it is b/c the members understand and they are facing some of the same struggles, learning to live with the effects chronic pain has in our lives. She said she thinks that is good. Ofcourse I didn't give her the information about which forum this is and she didn't ask.
I enjoyed going today. It was nice to talk to someone about what is going on. She gave me the number of someone else to see about marriage counseling. I will check into that later. She said the services can be on a sliding scale. And since finances are bad right now, that is good. The main problem is ofcourse pain. And all the other things going on are symptoms. Those symptoms can all be addressed. But until the main one, my marriage problems are dealt with, I'll just be treating the symptoms. It makes sense to me. I know my husband and I have alot going on in our marriage. I don't believe he sees it the way I do. I will ask him to go with me to counseling when I am able to afford that, not too far off in the future. But I do plan to go see this man she is talking about. I realize now that I do have alot of issues to deal with personally and in my marriage. I am ready to start to deal with all of them one step at a time. I do love my husband. There is no question about that. And I know he loves me as well. That really isn't the issue/problem. But there are definitely things that need to be dealt with.
I am proud of myself for going today. I am starting to confront that there are problems. It wasn't that I didn't know that before, I guess I just didn't want to admit or face it completely. I am ready now. I want to be the best I can be. I want to heal. I know that physically I am most likelly as good as it's going to get. Now emotionally it can get alot better. And I want that most of all for myself and then ofcourse, for my family.
The physical pain is there. It is always there not changing very much at all. It remains the same the majority of the time. If I can help with the stress issue, it may change the physical pain somewhat. I know I am always hurting. And because of that and the stress level, I am always tensed. If the physical tension can somehow lessen then maybe the pain will ease up slightly. I know I will hurt. I don't expect that to go away. It would be wonderful if it would, but I have to be realistic. It isn't going anywhere atleast any time soon. I have pretty much excepted that is just going to be part of my life now. And I'll have to make the very best of it, as best as I can. She showed me some breathing techniques to relax that I will try to see if it helps. All in all, this sure can't hurt the situation, that is for certain.
I really am glad that I have all of you in my life. You have been right there every step of the way. That is what true friends are really like. And I was right when I said to the counselor that you all are my support system. You are. Thank you for being here for me. It has meant  so much to me. So many things have happened to me for the last several months. And as I sit here and reflect on that, I don't know how I could have made it without all of you. I am so grateful and thankful for each and every one of you. I started this with the intention of letting you all know that I told the counselor that you have been my support system. And as always, I didn't mean for it to get this long...

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 8/10/2009 11:55 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Anice,
     Good morning! *huggs* I am glad you stopped by! Sounds like counseling is moving along nicly :-)   I had a few weeks of questions & answers before I was able to really "digg in", so to speak. But I dont know about you? I knew right away my pain psychologist was just the sort of person I needed to help. And don;t feel silly about an online support. I do not know about anyone else? But group support & online support forums were suggest to me towards the end of my treatment plann. Initally I went to Scoli Forums.. But, after a year I switched to Healing Well. Every here just "knows". You are one of the best parts of healing Well. You go through so much! I often think "well if she can do it, I can do it too". I think your remind us all to try harder, and never give up. You are a big part for all our lives too.
      *warm huggs*
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,  
And sorry I could not travel both  
And be one traveler, long I stood

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 81
   Posted 8/10/2009 11:55 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi, Anice,
I agree about the forum, and in my case, friends being more of a support than my own family. It's sad that it has to be that way; I always thought my family would be there for me above and beyond everything and everyone else. But unfortunately, that is not the case.

It may have a lot to do with others on the forum being truly able to relate to you with your specific, mutual maladies. But at the same time, I have always felt that I could have compassion and sympathy for a suffering individual regardless of whether or not I can actally empathize. Maybe I expect too much from others in that area.

Anyway, I'm glad you benefit from this site as I also do.

Diagnosed with: seizure disorder in 1962; seizure-free since 1969, IBS in 1996,
Mild depression, anxiety, & OCD in 2000, PMDD in 2001, Dysfunctional tear syndrome in 2009
Meds: Phenobarbitol, Paxil, Allegra; Supplements: Too many to list here

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 8/10/2009 12:16 PM (GMT -6)   
It's great that you seem to already feel good about your counselor! That's a good sign! And I have to say I see a real change in the focus of your post! Not that there was anything wrong with other posts - please don't misinterpret this - but you sound both hopeful but realistic. I'm so happy for you. We all will hope your physical pain will decrease over time, but you're right managing our emotions as best as possible can help that some. Maybe not cure it but help. I'm still working on that! Maybe I always will be. And without this group I don't know where I'd be, so I totally agree with you there!

Cheers and Hugs!


Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 3089
   Posted 8/10/2009 6:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Anice,

I'm so glad to hear that your counseling session went well! It really helps to have an unbiased person to talk to. As for getting support from the forum, I think a lot of us get the majority of our support from our friends & family at HW. It's different. No one can understand everything that you are going through but you; but when it comes to pain & how it effects us, the wonderful people here can relate better than anyone else! It's always such a relief to talk to people who understand & who aren't burdened by our problems! You really couldn't ask for a better place, or a better group of people. I too don't know where I'd be without everyone here!


Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9255
   Posted 8/11/2009 12:25 AM (GMT -6)   

We are so very proud of you for taking this step. It's so hard and painful sometimes and a lot of people who need the help never get the courage to do it. I hope you can find answers to what you are looking for and that you and hubby can find peace and love again.

Play fair. Don't hit people. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
~Robert Fulghum

(\o/)Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums

Pete trips again!
Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 8/11/2009 5:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Anice>>><<<>>>How in the name of FatherJohn did I miss this post yesterday??? Sometimes I think I'm losing it>No alot of times!!! Anyway, Good for you!! I'm proud of you for taking this big step! I think it's great and will do wonders for you. Sometimes we need someone who is totally uninvolved with us to get an unbias opinion of whats going on inside our heads and lives. Even here on the forum, I think sometimes we hedge a little in what we are saying because we are afraid of hurting someone, know what I mean?? Plus someone who is trained to help others is usually going to give better advice than someone who just shoots from the hip like myself!!! Oh I try to help people here but I'm always wondering if I'm giving good advice or making things worse for someone. Heaven knows I'd never do it on purpose but lets face it, I and others like me here on the board may mean well but we are not pro's at it and datz da faczs Jackz! I'm gonna get myself a good shrink real soon too! lord knows I certainly need one as I'm crazy fo sho! Ain't no doubt about it!! I think it will help w/ SSD also!! So please keep me up to speed w/ how it's going, OK???
Mucho love & Hugz for Yuze little Sis!!!
56 years old, Surgury, Radical Prostatectomy 8/20/03, PSA 6.6, Gleason 3 + 3 = 6, Adenocarcinoma extent (moderate) Stage & Margin:T2NOMX, No Metastases, Organ Confined, bone scan: Neg. 3 1/2 years of depression after surgery prior to Hypogonadizm DX, Testosterone Theropy> new 2/6/09> 400mg injections once a month. 56 and so glad to still be here to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men. They are both serving in the US Navy, Joseph is on the aircraft carrier USS John Stennis back in Bremerton, Wa. after 8 mo. deployment! and Pete Jr. is on The Asault Ship USS Bataan "The Jaws of the Fleet" somewhere in the Persian Gulf w/ 2,000 Marines aboard. I am one very proud (what they call me)> Big Pops! 

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