I want my life back!

Need to find a wonderful nerve doctor to repair a damaged nerve
cronic pain - 100.0%
nerve damage from a failed back surgery - 0.0%

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I want my life back!
New Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 8/11/2009 6:12 AM (GMT -6)   
cry   confused PLEASE READ.I really need help! I feel sorry for  anyone with back pain.  If you have never had back pain you can't even began to know the pain that we go through.I have had 4 major spine surgerys in the past 3 years. I have a herrington rod in the center of my spine and a plate in my neck and something caused a cage in my lower back. When they did one surgery it seemed like the other disc just started ruptureing. I had all the injections and the burning of he nerves in hope of helping me to prevent surgery. It did more harm then good. They waited so long that the disc in my lower back pressed the nerve in my lower back to the point that the nerve can not be repaired. (I was told) I now have nerve damage in my legs. I still live in pain everyday of my life. I have taken every drug you can think of for pain. I now have an implanted pain pump but I am using a drug called prailt. It is venom from a sea snail. It does have its drawbacks but helps about 50 %. Now I have been having severe pain in my lower back, hip and it runs into my private area. They gave me a shot in my hip and the pain went away, but is slowly coming back after 2 weeks. I am now having severe knee pain. The pain is so bad I can't walk very far without my legs feeling heavy and very weak. I am trying the cream voltaren gel. It does not help. I have been on it for 2 weeks. They gave me something to help me rest at night. I sleep about 2 hours at a time then wake up in severe knee pain. Think twice before an implanted pain pump. My first one go an infection that caused me to look like a had a huge watermelon growing out of my right side. I about died. I have another one put in on the right side and it is doing well. Is there anyone that has leg dmage and is having the hip and knee pain. There has got to be a doctor in the US that can repair the damaged nerve. If anyone knows of a great nerve doctor please let me know. I am 53 years old. On my 50th birthday. I spent 9 days I had the time of my life in the Bahamas. I use water ski, snowed board, Loved to dance. Travel. Now I can't ride in the car over an hour without having severe pain and leg and feet swelling. I really need some answers from people that are having my same problems and can lead me in the right direction. To have my pump filled every 45 days is $1900.00 and my medication that I have to take that doesn't put me in la-la land is $503. every month. Thank you for your time in reading this and I do pray that someone will contact me. I don't get on the computer much it hurts to set to long. I will answer back within the week.    I want my life back!
( I want my life back,  I deleted your E-mail from your post  to avoid spammers, you can put it in your profile if you like. White Beard Chronic Pain Moderator))

Post Edited By Moderator (White Beard) : 8/11/2009 1:32:44 PM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 8/11/2009 12:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Iwantmylifeback,
Welcome to the chronic pain forum of Healing Well. You have come to the right place for support and understanding when it comes to chronic pain. I am so sorry for all you have gone through and continue to go through. You have really done it all.

Your screen name really reflects what most everyone here feels like - either all the time or at least some of the time. I'm still in that place, too, of wanting my life back. It's very hard to grieve that for most of us, it won't come back as it was. I think the people who do best make some peace with that (which does not mean liking it!) in order to find some kind of "new normal". Are you seeing a pain psychologist or therapist? I'm NOT saying your pain is in your head (obviously not) but maybe you need someone to help you with the emotional aspects of all of this. If I had the insurance I would see one, too. This forum is also great therapy, but sometimes it's not enough.

I'm not sure I have anything I can offer about where to go for your next step. You have done many of the things most of us would have suggested. Perhaps others here will come along and see something I haven't (very possible). The sad thing is often if nerves have died they may not be able to be repaired. I had a failed lumbar fusion surgery nearly 2 years ago, and I have continued hoping things would get better, and part of me still wants them to. I am struggling with my own denial right now, but financial pressures are forcing me to get my head out of the sand. It is stuck there.

I am nearly 60, and was in very good health until I took a fall in 2004. Things have gone downhill fast since then, including with other health issures now appearing. It sounds like you may have had an injury if you were doing so well just 3 years ago?

A lot of people may not e-mail you directly; most will reply here. Also, it's usually best to put your e-mail in your profile and then people can e-mail you that way. Putting it in your post can leave you open to spammers. Just a thought. A moderator may come along and help with this.

Again, I want to welcome you and wish I could help more. I can offer you a hand in support, as can many others here.


Regular Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 138
   Posted 8/11/2009 1:52 PM (GMT -6)   
i understand wanting your old life back after developing chronic pain /illness. i dont have what you have but i want you to know this is a great place to be. there are others here who suffer from severe back pain. maybe someone will be able to offer you some hope or advice. i wish you the very best and hope you get some pain relief. and soon!

White Beard
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3702
   Posted 8/11/2009 2:57 PM (GMT -6)   
I want my life back!

Welcome to the Chronic Pain Forum, Your name does say it all!! Boy can I relate to that! Yes I think most of us, ( if not all of us) would like to have their old life back! But I am afraid that for many of us ( if not most of us) that is but wishful thinking! I am not saying that one should give up on wanting your old life back, but eventually we all have to face up to and deal with what we have been dealt. I would not call it acceptance, but maybe in reality it is, I would rather think of it more, as way of adjusting and putting up with, what we have. After all how can one ever accept being in pain all the time? Are we not always, all trying to find a new and better way to end or overcome or other wise control our pain? But by doing that we do need to come to grips with our situation, and if nothing else adjust to our having to live our lives differently than what we did before! That is often not easy to do! You have asked about a good Doctor to repair damaged nerves, I am not at all sure that can even be done. I guess it depends on what you mean by "repair"!
Anyway I am glad you have found us here at HealingWell Chronic Pain Forum! I do think we have the best bunch of people anyway on the internet! Definitely the most caring and compassionate people you will ever care to meet!
So again I Wecome You!

White Beard
Moderator Chronic Pain
I'm Retired USAF, went back to school and became an RN, and now am on full disalbility!--Degenerative Disc (affecting mostly the thorasic disc but all levels involved), C6/7 laminectomy/diskectomy& fusion, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications: Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 229
   Posted 8/14/2009 12:53 AM (GMT -6)   

Dear I want my life back,

Welcome to this wonderful site where we can vent and pour out our souls to others who are so very understanding. I am so sorry that you are in such terrible pain. I often wonder why some of us seem destined to walk this earth in such misery. It sounds like you have gone through all of the treatments that I can think of. I have begged for a Herrington rod and now I'm not sure that I want one. Please know that we are all here to listen even if we cannot "cure" the situation. Misery loves company and most of us are pretty miserable. You are in our prayers. Hope you are able to have a restful night.


Degenerative disc disease,osteoarthritis, status post 4 cervical spinal surgeries with plate insertions and fusion, Lupus, Sjogren's Disease, Fibromyalgia, chronic heacaches and chronic pain.
Find blessings in every day!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 8/15/2009 12:15 AM (GMT -6)   
I want my life back, Boy, I can relate to that, just like the others here. Those 5 words speak volumes.

I want to welcome you here to this forum. I do hope you will stick around. It is such a wonderful group of people and the support is undescribable. I am so glad you posted. And I do hope you will do so again.

Personally I am dealing with a similar situation. I had an laminectomy in April. My nerve root was severely compressed. The herniated disc was pushing down on the nerve. And I had bone pushing up into it. It did help in the sense that I don't drag my left leg around or limp when I walk. That is about the only good it did for me. I also am in constant pain. I think I waited too long to have the surgery. I have constant pain in the lower back (left side), left hip and buttock. Your surgery was much more extensive than what I had. I just wanted you to know that I do know about the nerve damage...

I wish I knew what I could say that would be of some help to you. I do care and I will be thinking about you. Please keep posting. The support from this forum has helped me out soooooo much. Sometimes it's nice just to know you aren't alone. I look forward to getting to know you better. And I do hope you will come back.\

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 8/15/2009 9:00 PM (GMT -6)   
sad I am so sorry for all you are going through... I do have hip and lower back and sacrum pain, i've had numbness in the groin area once or twice.. but i have not had as much pain as it sounds like you are having. OH, disc bulge in l5-s1 lumbar.

As for the cost for supplies and drugs see if this web site will be of any help: WWW.NEEDYMEDS.COM. It is suppose to take you direct to the manufacture. I rec'd this from this forum.. Give it a try! Somethings got to give for you. Prayers and Hugs for you.

Cervical spine surgery 2004, C-section 1986, Cholecystectomy 1999, Thoracic and Lumbar injury 2000. Anxiety/depression 2008. Fibromyalgia 2009, Thyroidectomy 2008. Degenerative disc disease. IBS. Asthma, Rheumitoid Arthritis, Sacroillitis, Scolylosis, disc bulge in L5/S1. Meds: Lisinophil, xoponex, symbocort, pulmocort, troponal, vitamin 2000 D, Vitamin B complex, Hydrocodone, Tylonal Arthritis, Cymbalta.

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