~EXHAUSTED!!!

Awe, Dani!

I can't understand everything you're going through, but I can relate to the exhaustion. I loved the way you put it - " the inside of me is so terribly tired". That is truely profound. I "get" that.

I am so sorry you're having so many health problems, and it also sounds like you're not getting much (if any) support from friends.

I also don't think it's excessive vanity when it comes to having to deal in public with people who you don't know how they will react. You sort of have to buffer yourself emotionally because you know some will give you stares or "looks", but on the other hand you may find some support in strange places.

And - remember we're always here.

((((((((((((Dani)))))))))))

PaLady

Dani,

I know the toothless feeling. All too well. I've had full dentures since right before I turned 30. They did the extractions in 3 sessions. First all the molars in the back, both top & bottom. Then all the lower facials. Then finally all the top facials. During the time that I had no teeth at all is when it seemed that I ran into people that I hadn't seen since middle/jr high school, people that I worked with when I was 16 and hard my first job, and relatives that I didn't even know I had. It's inevitable that you'll run into everyone until you have teeth again. Just be glad that you don't have something like family photos scheduled. I had to learn how to grin and hold air in my mouth so it didn't look like my face was all sunk in from no teeth.

And then conveniently, once they're in place, you won't see a soul except a spouse or housemate - or maybe even a pet.

Hang in there, soon you too will be able to smile at them and chew only Freedent brand gum. lol. When someone compliments you on the new smile you can tell them that for only $1200 (or whatever amount it's costing you) they could have the same one too.

(((((((((Dani)))))))))). Just try to breathe! Sometimes it seems like we have the weight of the world on our shoulders. All you can do is try to slow down & take things one small step at a time. Things will work out, I know they are. You have such a sweet, caring soul, something good has to be in store for you!

hugs,
Skeye

My heart and soul is aching for you. At times the wholeness of our situations come down like thunder for us to bear. Its good that you unloaded and I'm glad we are here for you.

Laurie

---

Kidney Diseases and Disorders

Dani, I agree w/ Skeye 100%, the karma train is coming your way and it's going to drop off a big load of happieness right in your lap! You deserve good things and they will come! Screw all those shallow people anyway, you are better than them and we all know that. Yep, you just unload all you want. You even make whining an enjoyable read with your sence of hummor! Well, I hate to hear the bad things but you know what I mean! Most people in your position would be curled up in the corner of a dark room in the fetal position but not you! Be proud of yourself and the hell w/ anyone who dosen't realize that it could very well be them in your shoes someday! We're proud of you Dani!!!
Big Fat Guy Hugz comin attcha!!!
Big Bro> Pete

---

56 years old, Surgury, Radical Prostatectomy 8/20/03, PSA 6.6, Gleason 3 + 3 = 6, Adenocarcinoma extent (moderate) Stage & Margin:T2NOMX, No Metastases, Organ Confined, bone scan: Neg. 3 1/2 years of depression after surgery prior to Hypogonadizm DX, Testosterone Theropy> new 2/6/09> 400mg injections once a month. 56 and so glad to still be here to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men. They are both serving in the US Navy, Joseph is on the aircraft carrier USS John Stennis back in Bremerton, Wa. after 8 mo. deployment! and Pete Jr. is on The Asault Ship USS Bataan "The Jaws of the Fleet" somewhere in the Persian Gulf w/ 2,000 Marines aboard. I am one very proud (what they call me)> Big Pops! 

Dear PA Lady,

       Your right, I am not. The lines were drawn last year and I was devistated for a long time. Still makes my heart ache. My friends were the only family I had.  I was devistated, angry and eventually went to therapy. I know that noone expected that a "pulled muscle" would turn into this .. this.. bone crumbling madness nearly 4years later. Noone is more shocked than my doctors and I. sheesh! I am glad I found healing well. I am glad I met other chronic pain patients. Its hard, real hard having your body do whatever it wants. Never relenting, never slowing. Never ceasing. Gosh I hope we can get this calicum stuff under control.

Dear Peircings! 

      Yes! this was so messed up... wouldnt believe it! This guy says "Do you feel better now that you see a therapist?" with an odd look. Like something was funny, that I didnt get. I turned and said "For 5 thousand dollars, Id better." And went back into my conversation.        

      Ugh! Remind me to never treat anyone like that! Lesson #2,000 learned   I have given up on anyone "understanding". You guys do, and a friend in california does. I am greatful. It was lonesome out there!

      I keep trying hard to remind myself that its just a moment in time.  And still I feel the urge to cry and hide.  Such a chicken       The teeth themselves were so costly I had to pay in three chunks. Total for teeth alone $4,000.0.. not including extra X rays, various office visits to both men.  The surgeon, for the surgical procedure,  is using all of what is allowed by insurance this year and another $ 2,000.0 out of pocket.  I know they are working hard and doing the best they can. I know there is alot they are taking in to consideration.

      The awfull part is that I grew up in extreme poverty so I literally had 20K worth of dental work done over 4yrs time, BEFORE any of this calicum absorption stuff started. Jeeze. Im gonna ask for before and after copies of XRays, I dont think anyone will mind. Maybe ill go plant a tree out back, and mourn the loss of custom shaded porcelin caps.  was 800.0 per tooth and I dont even have a thing to show for it.    Atleast all the wisdoms and 4 other molers were taken out back then. Little silver lining maybe?

     Gosh! Does my back have to sting so much on top of it all? I know I need medicine in there already!!! I dont need my back to remind me every passing MOMENT! Not gonna help the 28th get here any quicker. Jeeze. Ugh

except a spouse or housemate - or maybe even a pet.

I'll take 2 tickets for me and Mr.Bubbles! Atleast the cat knows when to keep quiet.  

...Wish we could put mean people in the time out corner.

     This turned out to be a whole heck of alot longer than I had planned.... Sorry. Thanks for your responses, makes it feel easier. And hey! One more day down

*huggs*

dani

---

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood

Dani, I am sorry all this is happening to you. You know we all love you here. And you have our unending and constant support now and always. You vent on girl. We'll listen and we'll care.

I am glad you are sharing this with us. You are always so upbeat and positive and funny. You are such a big part of this forum. I have never met anyone like you before. Dani, you have the most incredible sense of humor of anyone I've ever known. It is a gift. I know when I am down,sad,upset,having a bad day,end of my rope times, and I read one of your posts, it always makes me smile. I know others here feel the same. You are a precious gift to all of us on the forum. And you are such a beautiful woman. You hold your head up. And each day one foot in front of the other. You are going to make it!!!

And vanity is just vanity. I want you to go to the girls school and you hold your head up high. I know it is easier said than done. But this is only temporary. You will have a beautiful smile soon. It really doesn't matter what people think. I learned that a long time ago. They don't matter. You are better than that. This wasn't your fault. And you are getting it "fixed". My husbands teeth are horrible, well worse than horrible. And we have dental insurance. But we don't have the money needed to get his fixed. I know it bothers him. But I love him. And I don't really even "see" it anymore. One day we will get his fixed, whenever we have the money to do so. So see, I do understand where you are coming from with this. I really do. You hang in there, Dani. You are such an inspiration to all of us here.
Anice

Well said Anice! You and Dani are both Angels sent here to our little family of GOOD PEOPLE! You are the karma I so often talk about coming to the good folks (all of us w/ CP!) who deserve something good to happen! You two, Skeye, PA, Chutzie, Me, Susie, Chart, Laurie, Scarred, Patti, Tina, Frances, Sandi, Splash, Merry, Harra, Skrape, Rhonda, FJ, WB and so many others that I'm forgetting>(sorry, my mind has turned to poop!!)are a blessing to me and the rest. My wife sometimes watches me writing on the comp. and asks, what are you doing? I reply "writing to my friends who need me" When I started writing here in the CP forum I was living alone and and working super long hours for a monster, so miserable and lonely! You folks helped me keep my sanity back then and I can never repay y'all for that!
Dani, so sorry for kidnapping your page! I just love all Y'all so much and I may sound corny and cheezy but I don't care! The newbee's know there is something special about this place and stick around but it's not untill they grow w/ us for a while and see all the caring, concideration, compassion and respect that we have for each other do they realize how lucky we are to have this place and our family that has grown together. I truly wish that someday, somehow we could all meet eachother. Could you imagine all the love? I'll bet it would do us all more good than any meds or procedures! A GIANT HWCP group hug!!! Yea, now we're talikn and I've talked too much so I'll give it a break now.
Dani, you are such a special person, hang tough. A year from now you'll be telling someone about what this ordeal was like and when they see your beutiful smiling face, they will never believe you!
Big Hugz from your Big Bro!
Pete
PS> I'm still buying a lotery ticket every week and when all that karma cash comes rolling in, it's gonna be time for one hell of a party and you all will be there, no exceptions!!!

---

56 years old, Surgury, Radical Prostatectomy 8/20/03, PSA 6.6, Gleason 3 + 3 = 6, Adenocarcinoma extent (moderate) Stage & Margin:T2NOMX, No Metastases, Organ Confined, bone scan: Neg. 3 1/2 years of depression after surgery prior to Hypogonadizm DX, Testosterone Theropy> new 2/6/09> 400mg injections once a month. 56 and so glad to still be here to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men. They are both serving in the US Navy, Joseph is on the aircraft carrier USS John Stennis back in Bremerton, Wa. after 8 mo. deployment! and Pete Jr. is on The Asault Ship USS Bataan "The Jaws of the Fleet" somewhere in the Persian Gulf w/ 2,000 Marines aboard. I am one very proud (what they call me)> Big Pops! 

Post Edited (Pete trips again!) : 8/13/2009 6:42:37 AM (GMT-6)

Hey Dani... You are still a beautiful woman and dont ever forget it. I know and understand full well what you are going through emotionally, regardless of the symptoms. I am so sorry I didnt get out here to see and reply to your post sooner. I can tell you needed as many replies and friends support as possible.

It would be nice if there was a magic wand we could wave around to make all our friends here feel better right now. You are such a bright light on this board, bringing a lot of cheer and a positive attitude whenever it is needed... i just wish I knew the words to help you feel better and get through this rough spot. I just need to win the Powerball...then I can help everyone get to their appointments and not worry about the bill :)

Take care of yourself, and I really, really hopethat when the sun rises tomorrow, your day is as bright as it!

N8

Dani,
Oh, I just wish I could give you a hug, and lend you a shoulder to cry on. And I sure do understand the money end. I'm scared what may be in my future because I don't have thousands of dollars to put into my mouth, but I'm at the age when it's somewhat expected. I'm so sorry you have had to go through this twice in your life! The dentist's should be giving you some freebe by now - you know, like when you buy enough of something and your card gets punched full and you get your meal or your coffee or whatever, free!

Pete - I have to say your words about our family brought tears to my eyes!!!!

((((((((((((Dani)))))))))))))

PaLady

Dani,

 

Dani, sorry to hear all that is going on but you have a great attitude and that will help you win in the end. As I have been away fro awhile, I saw your thread and the first thing I thought of was we all have periods where we match one of the seven dwarfs. We had something going on here one time about the dwarfs and even made up a few of our own.  Which one are you today? I saw grumpy and sleepy. i hope you are also squeezy with the little ones. Have a better day tomorrow.

Well said FJ! Sorry I've been missing this for a few days, one of those extremily busy weeks where I feel like I've been chasing my tail!!! Dani, I really hope you're feeling a little less tired and your poor old back has stopped stinging. Is your mouth feeling better now? No wonder your body is exhausted, it sounds as if you need those magic friends to appear and carry your load for you for a few recovery days. You know the ones we can conjure up using our magic wands, they're good to clean the bottom of the fridge and remake your bed. Hope your hanging in there,Dani, best wishes, golitho

 

Dani,

I'm sorry that I haven't posted before now.... I've been reading and thinking of you - please know that. I, too, wish that I could give you a big hug!! I hope my post finds your back feeling at least a little bit better....and maybe your mouth, too. I'm sure you ARE exhausted.

Dani - in every post that I've read of yours - you have such a great attitude, a wonderful sense of humor; you are so kind, compassionate and caring. I really admire you for going through all that you are right now. I just know you will get through all of this....

I wish I could answer the "why's" of all of this... I really do. But please know that you have many, many people here that love you and are here to listen and support you.

Tina

---

Pain Issues: Neck/back pain; migraines; carpal tunnel syndrome; widespread joint/muscle pain, nerve pain in hands, arms, feet; I also have POTS/dysautonomia; CFS/Fibromyalgia; Severe Hypertension; Hypothyroidism; Addison's Disease; Central Sleep Apnea; etc etc

Meds: MS Contin (480mg daily); MSIR (15mg/6x day); Soma (3x day); Atenolol; Midodrine; Phenergan; Effexor and on the list goes...

Future Plans: Intrathecal Pain Pump; already completed trial; awaiting my decision for implantation

 

Unfortunately it's not next week yet, but I wanted to stop by again in this thread to tell you to keep your head up even if you're not doing big smiles.

If nothing else you can always play the mysterious smirking woman. Think of yourself as the modern Mona Lisa. You can always do the aloof appearance where you fail to really register any expression on your face. When I was running around with no teeth, I tried it. It really seems to un-nerve people when your face doesn't respond to them. I was trying it since I was uncomfortable with my face, I figured it would be a good distraction to experiment with people and their reactions.

Big smile or quiet smirk, you're still a beautiful person and you also have the gift of humor. I know that a lot of times I make jokes when I'm really stressed out cause it keeps me from crying; but I had to learn to listen to my own jokes so that I could laugh at them and distance myself from the pain/discomfort. Realize that you have that same gift and let yourself be amused with things.

Wishing you "rapid time passing" till you're at the day you desire...
Lacey

 

Dani,
Wow, you've been through so much and now to have to come face to face with such a mean teacher..
In my eye's your the most wonderful caring person here and if I could face down this teacher for you i would
If that had been me, I would've walked away slowly, turned around and said "Since when did you go to medical school?"
in a loud voice, but that is at least over and done for now...If I knew I had to face her, it would be hard
and I'm sorry you've got to meet this very very rude person..

I'll be hopeing your getting some low pain days soon...
lots and lots of soft hugz..
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Dani)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Keep us posted

---

**********************************************
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc, Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's and Ocular Migraines

********>^..^<********>^..^<********>^..^<********

Dani,
Do you want the vampire army to come with you tomorrow? We can all stand behind you and show our fangs and scare the beetlejuice out of this teacher. If you don't open your mouth much, she'll really wonder what could come next for her! I am planning to take the vamp. army to my future dentists appointments when needed! LOL At least, in spirit form!!! So think of us standing behind you, drueling and waiting for a bite of her neck and you are in charge of us and if/when we start "feeding"!!! Hope this wasn't too gross, but wanted to give you a little boost of confidence in a weird sort of way!

And also, a hug!

((((((((((((Dani))))))))))))

PaLady

Teachers are suppose to be the most compassionate, loving, warm, supportive and NON-judgemental people there are!  What other type of person could we possibly trust our most beloved little souls to.  Please don't hesitate to transfer your precious daughter out of her class.  Express just that to the principal.  Tell the prinicipal that you are not judging her ability to teach but you are looking to protect your child from a person you have seen act inappropriately and immaturely towards other people.  Teachers should be like doctors; they should first do no harm.