I'm sorry I haven't posted in quite a while, I have been trying to keep up to date on your posts, but I just haven't felt up to posting about myself.
My reason for posting tonight, is that I need your well wishes, prayers, etc. as in addition to pain pain level never going below a nine, I have been dealing with a very stressful situation. A couple of months ago, I found a lump in my breast which I felt quite sure was just a cyst (I have had cystic breasts for many years), and I expected it to go away on its own. Around that time Lindaloo had a scare following a mammogram, and I decided at that point that I really needed to get it checked out. I went to my PCP, and his PA did a breast exam and was sure it was just a cyst and did not feel any further testing was necessary. I was not totally comfortable with not doing any testing, so a couple of weeks later, I brought it up to my endocrinologist and she did an exam and decided to order an ultrasound. I was glad that she was at least following
up on it, but I could not understand why she was only doing an ultrasound, and not a mammogram.
I wanted to get in to see my gynocologist, but her group had just merged with another, and they required that they all work full time, and because she has young children, she only wanted to work part-time, so she had to branch out on her own and it took a few weeks for her to find office space and get set up to see patients. I finally got in to see her about 2 weeks ago, and after doing an exam, she also felt that it was just a cyst, but she ordered a mammogram and told me to have the sonogram too. I did that and a couple of days ago, I got a call from my endocrinologist saying that the ultrasound was negative, so I was very relieved, and then completely shocked when I got a call from my gyn later that day telling me that the lump I found was just a cyst, and nothing to worry about, but that there was 3 other areas that they were calling "suspicious" which needed biopsy's.
Needless to say, I have been full of anxiety, & very upset while waiting for today to roll around as I was supposed to have said biopsy's done this afternoon. After sitting in the waiting room for over an hour, I finally get called back for the nurse to ask me a few questions, and one of her questions was what did I weigh? I told her, and she tells me that the table they use to do the biopsy has a weight limit, and I exceed that weight limit. She said that when the nurse called me to go over the details of what was going to happen today, that she should have asked me my weight. Now, I am a big gal, I am not going to deny it (although I have been trying very hard despite not being able to exercise, and I have lost 70 lbs in the last 18 months or so), but I am not abnormally large. I would think they must come across people my size at least a couple
of times a week.
The nurse just handed me my mammogram films and wished me good luck. She was not willing to give me any direction on where to go next. I walked out of there thinking if I do have cancer, I guess I'm just sh** out of luck, no treatment for me, because I'm too heavy for their table. Besides that, I was mortified because everyone within ear shot knew what was going on - I'm sure I was the laughing stock of the office after I left.
My very angry husband drove straight over to my gynocologists office, and even she was shocked - dumbfounded would be more like it - as she said in all her year's of practicing, she never heard of such a thing! It turns out that my only option now is to have the biopsy's done by a surgeon in the operating room. The only positive about all this is that if the biopsy looks like it is something bad, the surgeon can take it out right then and there.
I have an appt. with the surgeon next Tuesday afternoon, but I think that that is just a "meet & greet". The worst part is all of the waiting!
On top of all of this, my oldest son leaves for college on Friday, and I'm an absolute basketcase over it. It is his first time leaving home, and his school is 3+ hours each way, and as soon as he gets up there he is planning to look for a room or apartment to rent so that he doesn't have to miss extended periods of work when the dorms close for holiday vacations. I realize he's doing what he has to, but I can't make that trip both ways in one day, and to stay in a hotel is just too expensive for us right now, so I feel like I'm not going to see him for the next 2 years.
I'm sorry for such a long post, and I thank you for taking the time to read it.