first, thanks to everyone for all the wonderful information on this forum. they helped me finally get the help i needed.
after basically wasting the last 2 years of my life due to chronic back pain, yesterday i FINALLY found a doctor who was willing to help me. i have spent the last 24 months going through all the hoops, pain clinics, injections, burning the nerves in my back, everything, and nothing helped.
my primary care doctor gave me some oxycodone about 4 months ago for pain, right after the last time they burned the nerves in my back. anyway, he told me only to take them when my back was killing me, and i was taking only a few pills a day. anyway, after about a month, he totally cut me off and basically said that i had gone through every procedure they could think of and that i was just goint to have to live with it.
the past 3 months have been a living hell. i had to quit my job, was reduced to laying around in bed all day while my poor wife and to get up at 5 am and go to a 12 hour shift, and it got to the point where i would daily ask God to just let me die and go to heaven, because i was such a burden to my wife.
i truly did not think i was ever going to get out of this. what really angers me is that all of the doctors said that i needed to lose 60 pounds, because of the pressure it put on my back. all i wanted was the opportunity to have a doctor help me during the 5 or 6 months it would take to drop the weight. without pain medication, it is practically impossible for me to even "walk" more than a half a block, let alone take in regular exercise.
but no one would give me the opportunity to help me take control over my weight and actually "do" something about it.
anyway, a neighbor recommended an Internal Medicine doctor and i went to him this week, told him exactly everything i have done to relieve this pain and that i was at the end of my rope. i have not slept more than 3 hours a night for the past 3 months and i quite literally was beginning to go insane.
you know, i have been let down so many times by doctors in the past, that i didn't have much hope that this doctor would do anything for me, but i couldn't believe how wrong i was!
i told him that i wanted to get this weight off, because i'm 250 right now, and my back problems really started to get worse when i got over 200 pounds.
he told me that he would do everything he could to help me lose the weight and gave me a "plan of attack" (walking, exercises to do, diet changes, etc.)
he wrote me several prescriptions: 100 Hydro/APAP 5-500, 50 15mg Morphine ER, Trazodone, Motrin and Lidoderm patches. he wants me to come back in three weeks, and try to lose 8 pounds by then.
i can't tell you how elated i have been. finally, someone is willing to work with me. i don't want to be on pain meds the rest of my life. if losing the weight will keep me from being in chronic pain, i'll do anything to accomplish that.
what really burns me up, though, is why none of these other doctors couldn't at least have told me that there were other physicians who would help me, even if they wouldn't? the last time i went to the pain clinic and they "burned the nerves" on my back, the doctor messed up the injection site and had to basically double the amount of times he used the needles. after he was done, with me sobbing in the chair, unable to move, he told me to go home and take 3 motrin and that narcotics would not help me. like i WANT to have to take pills. who WANTS to take pills?
all i wanted was help to get back on my feet again. the last 2 years have been a nightmare, but thankfully, because ONE doctor actually cares, i know i am going to be able to beat this thing.
do you know why doctors won't refer you to someone who WILL help you, instead of just sending you home in pain? i know that some docs are scared to death of the whole DEA investigation stuff and that they may not personally want to prescribe anything to their patients, but WHY couldn't they at least have told me that i have other options?
i truly did not think i had any other choice but to spend the rest of my life an invalid. i'm 44 years old and i want to "have a life". i don't want to be a burden to my wife and enjoy my time on earth.
my prayers have been answered and i'm so thankful that for the first time in 2 months, last night i actually fell asleep and stayed asleep. but i'm so mad that i could have had this relief months ago if only someone would have told me i had other choices.
sorry for ranting, i'm just so relieved to finally feel that i have hope.