This is my story. Maybe it will give you hope.
I destroyed my leg playing soccer 6 years ago almost to the day. What followed was numerous operations and severe pain. £Eventually i got a knee replacement and hoped this would lead to an end to my everyday pain. However i sustained nerve damage in hospital when i initally broke my leg. I got conpartment sydrom and and the pain i was in that day i will alway be in. I have had every form of medication and treatment including numerous nerve blocks and a spinal iplant stimulast implant. BASICALLY NOTHING WORKED.
12 months ago i was suverelly depressed almost suscidial. I was off work. I was overweight. I was depply unhappy. I was 32 years old and i did not wish to see my 33 birthday. I was aliginated from my family i.e. my parents and brother. My friends never gave up on me but they had their own lives. I spent all my time alone. I did not sleep much and i hope that something would intevene to stop my misery.
It was at this stage i did a pain management course. I must admit that i had little confidence in this approach. After all this is an admission that my pain is a cychlogical problem, not an actual problem. Further fuelling peoples ignorance in my suffering. For four weeks i attended the course even though i did miss one day as i crashed my car due to the conbinging infulence of no sleep and strong medications as well as speed. At the end of the course i felt like it had been a complete waste of time. We studied how physical activity, coupled with mediation and how to do things the easist way would lead to an improvement in our lives. That accepting the pain is the first step.
I can safely say i am not my pain. I am me. I do have pain, but i am still me. I started going to the gym and doing mediatation regularly 4-5 times a week. I was not long losing weight and started feeling better about myself. I also learned to relax. I have managed to create alot of mental black holes in the last 6 years. problems that i am still coping with through talking to a councillor. I was depply depressed, i still do not love myself becaus eof the pain, when i am in my worst pain i need unreasonable levels of love, yet at the same time i can eat everyones head off that i care about because of this.
I also found love with the most caring, beautiful girl imaginable. I have tried to push her away so often because i can not cope. Yet somehow she is still here supporting me. I hope in time i will get to a level of totally acceptance of my pain. But i have started this journey.
The best bit of advise i can give is that u need to forget miracle cures or treatments, they do not exist. Everytime you get your hopes up and they are then dashed are beyond haert breaking. Accept your problem as off today and work on solutions. Exercise will make you fell happier. Start small and build it up. Don't give up because u had a bad day. Know when to rest. Learn to relax and mediatation will help you control some of those dark taughts. Speak to a trained professional and more importantly never give up.