Jeesh, I am way ahead of you guys. I started making changes to the family traditions several years ago. I had the entire holiday season at my house, starting at Thanksgiving and ending New years Eve. It wore me out as I was working and it just became too much for one person.
Both of my children are married and I told them it was time for them to start their holidays traditions and start their own set of memories. I thanked them for allowing me to have them with me for so long, but I was stepping down as the master of ceremonies in holidays department. Do you now they were excited and had been wanting to do exactly this, only they did not want to hurt my feelings. We do a Texas style dinner at Christmas, brisket, potato salad, baked beans and as many desserts and munchies we can muster, lol. That is one day I am not interested in spending the day in the kitchen. The kids swap off having the dinner at each other's house each year. I bring the potato salad & baked beans, son-in-law has mastered smoking a mean brisket. He has a large smoker on a trailer that he and my husband built. Sometimes we even throw a couple chickens on it and a ham to go along with the brisket.
We scaled back the spending many years ago as well. Its just less stress for everyone. The point of it is all of being together. As it is none of us really need anything, so we buy a little something for each of the big kids. Now, the little kids, they are not included in the scale back, that's my greatest enjoyment shopping for the two kids.
Aunt Kay let me assure you, it is time for a change indeedy in your tradition. By no means should you feel guilty, heck I made my changes before I got sick, I just worked all the time and it just wore me out too much. Too the point I was not enjoying the holidays at all. When it gets like that its time for a change. You are not letting anyone down-stop beating yourself up. When our children get grown and have their own families, they need to start their traditions and let the parents have a break. The daughter that is having a little snit over this needs to be the one hosting the family this year. I totally agree with you about your Mom''s situation, like I said, tell this daughter it would be very nice for her to take over this year.
<FONT>crohns disease dx 2002 & small bowel resection, still looking for remission whatever that is, chronic pain 22 yrs, added ulcerative colitis 6-05 to the mix, high blood pressure 28 yrs, aortic heart valve insuffiency, depression, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis lumbar spine, scoliosis lumbar spine, peripheral neuropathy hands & feet, COPD & on oxygen therapy, lupus & psoriasis and psoratic arthritis. Several other health issues just not enough room to list it all. Too many surgeries to list and too many medications to list. Currently on 17 different daily medications. Intrathecal pain pump implanted June 05.