First off, I'm so glad to have read that some people have been doing better/found relief. What an inspiration. For everyone else, I hope the end of December goes really well. I've been having a really rough couple of days, and I'm not really sure what to do, so I'm just going to vent for a minute.
It all started on Thursday afternoon. I pushed myself to make it through both classes because it was our last day, and I really wanted to be there to say goodbye to everyone before break. After class, my professor/director pulled me into her office to talk about
the possibility of me taking medical leave next semester. I posted about
this in another post earlier, but basically at this point, if Mayo can't give me a workable option when I see them in January, I don't think I really have a choice. She has promised me up and down that they will hold a place for me, no matter when I decide to come back. She and my other three professors have been absolutely. They email me, call me, ask me how I'm doing and check in. My classmates, however, have been a different story. I don't hear from them ever, and I know part of that's my own fault. I campaigned at the beginning of the semester, back when I still had this all under control, to be the point person on our biggest project of the semester. But then I deteriorated very quickly, and wasn't able to fulfill that. My director told me that she and the other profs were very disappointed in my classmates, are actually going to address it during professional seminar next semester, which really makes me wonder what all has happened.
This also means that when I get home, I have to sit down with my parents and tell them about
maybe taking a semester off. I'm really not sure how they will take it. They are super supportive, but at the same time, my mother is a very driven woman who never asks for help, and expects the same from my little brother and I. I just really don't want her to be disappointed in me.
The to top it off, that evening my roommates came in and sat down. I could tell by their faces it was something serious. The big interview weekend for our graduate program is in February, and most of the housing for the second year class (which will be mine) is figured out by then. ThThey then proceeded to tell me that they found a two person apartment that they're going to live in during next school year. They're already toured the house and met with the landlord, and so oh by the way I'll need to figure out where to live next year. I'd talked with one of them awhile ago about
wanting to go to a brewery in town to pick up Christmas presents. I texted her this afternoon because she wasn't around, but never heard back. Then she and my other roommate walked in the door with bags from said brewery. And we'd been planning for over a month to go out to dinner tonight, my treat, for all the help they've given me this term. When they came in, they told me that they were going bowling, but I could come and sit if I wanted to (I can't physically bowl). I know I haven't been the greatest of roommates, but before my arm started flaring up again I was. Now, when I can I try to hang out with them, but they really only drink, which I can't do. I can't wash dishes, but I always put them away, and try my best to help out around the house. I know I'm not as social as they are, but I do try. I just feel completely abandoned. One of my roommates was going to drive me to the airport tomorrow, we were going to get lunch together before she dropped me off and she's leaving only a little bit after I am. She called me earlier to tell me that she'd actually like an extra hour to pack, so I can ride with another classmate which will put me at the airport almost six hours early. I am feeling really isolated and alone right now. Because I've missed so much class, I haven't been as close with my other classmates lately. When I talk with my roommates, they act like everything is fine and there is nothing amiss, but I am really hurt. I don't want to say anything because I feel like it would just make things worse, plus we're all leaving for a month tomorrow.
Then to top it off, one of my flights stops in Philadelphia and they are buried under a blizzard right now, I'm really worried that my flights are going to get canceled, and that I'm going to have to sit in an airport all day. As I'm sure you all know, stress makes pain worse, and pain makes stress worse. My shoulder has been absolutely awful, today it so tender I can't even lean back against it. If I take tramadol when I fly, I get airsick, which is humiliating because I travel a lot and I've never had problems before.
Okay, I'm so sorry to dump this on all of you, I am just so frustrated right now!! I'm sorry this is so long, but I just really needed to get this off of my chest. Thanks for reading!
Pain Issue: Sub-scapular bursitis, scapular dyskinesia, nerve damage down left arm, shoulder and neck
Treatment: PT, Tens Unit, Oxycodone, Diazepan, Hydrocodone-APAP, Tramadol, Voltaren/Duac gel
Also random hearing loss in both ears at age 18ish, not sure exactly when it happened or why. Got amazing Oticon hearing aids at 20, they've worked wonders! Keep hoping that my doctors can connect my ears to my shoulder and fix them both all at once!! A girl can dream, right?
Post Edited (melliflious) : 12/19/2009 7:20:06 PM (GMT-7)