Golitho, Palady, and Fatherjohn,
Thank you so much for you kind & caring words, as well as the advice. It helps just to know that I have such wonderful friends here who look out for me & that I can rely on. Although I don't know most of you in person, the bonds that we have formed are just as strong as if we had met face to face.
Palady, I think you've hit the nail on the head with your suggestion. My animals, especially my youngest dog have been such tremendous sources of love. Being with them makes everything seem okay, if only for a moment. I don't know what I would have done this past year without my boy. I just wish I could cry with them. I think I'd feel better if I could, but I just can't seem to let the tears come.
My stress is only going to increase right now, as among other things happening in my family, my mother is having major surgery tomorrow to take care of recently discovered cancer. Fortunately the outcome looks really good & if they don't find anything tomorrow, this surgery should effectively cure her. But even so, she'll be out of commission for at least 6 wks, so for the next couple weeks, until I return to school, I'll be taking care of everything -- cooking, cleaning, taking care of the animals, helping out my grandmother, etc, etc, etc. I fear that this added stress may push me even closer to my breaking point. Maybe starting the new semester will be a good thing for me -- it'll get my mind off of other things.
Golitho, thanks so much for sharing that saying with me. It is really nice! I'm going to write it down for sure!
Oh how I wish I could go visit the ocean. I love the ocean. It does have an amazing calming effect. Unfortunately, it is winter here & I live inland. I guess I'll just have to picture one in my mind. A nice white sand beach with crystal clear blue water, palm trees, and soft crashing waves...
Fatherjohn, You're right, I think the winter tends to increase a lot of people's depression. It must be because it is so dark and cold, at least in our part of the world. Like you mentioned, I think that my depression really worsened because I slowed down. When I'm in school I really have to focus very hard to get through each day, but now that I'm on break I have much more free time. I've been going going going all year long. I can't remember the last substantial break that I had. I think everything has just finally caught up with me. I think the whole stimulator business was what really pushed me over the edge & now I just can't seem to dig myself out of this hole. Tanning is an interesting idea, thanks for the suggestion. I've never been tanning before, but I hear that light therapy helps people with seasonal depression, so maybe the tanning has a similar effect. Interesting.
Thanks again everyone, I really appreciate your support. I'm not one to give up or give in; I never quit fighting, but boy it is hard at times!
Post Edited (skeye) : 1/12/2010 10:06:31 PM (GMT-7)