Hey Straydog, Thanks for your reply.
Yeah, I actually just got the letter in the mail last night out of the blue. I went to see a psychiatrist a couple times after having to go to the emergency for an anxiety attack that made me feel like I was going crazy (one of the side effects of the Methadone). The ER doctor didn't feel he could do anything but send me to a psychiatrist and so I went. She was great and really tried to help me. She put me on Cipralex and instead of just masking the side effects of the Methadone I asked her to make a referral to a Pain Management Clinic... and she did. I didn't hear anything back from anyone about so I almost gave up. But thank God I got accepted and have to make my first appointment.
It does make one chuckle how afraid I was/am about the Crohns meds and loosing my hair, skin tags, etc but you have to realize that at the time my looks was a very important part of my career. It's not like I was in a garage band playing bars, I was the lead singer of a band that was on it's way up the industry ladder very quickly. We had a lot invested, people working for us, touring, doing photo shoots, etc. And unfortunately what a person looks like is a bigger part of success in the music industry than should be... a sad but true fact of life in music.
I have spend countless hours reading and researching my disease.. before the music thing turned into a career I did spend 3 years in college so I'm not dull if you know what I mean.
I'm fully aware that the surgery wasn't a "cure" and that anything could've happened afterward. I could've gone into remission for 30years, 3years, or 3months. And I know about Prednisone, I've heard horror stories but for myself.. I didn't find it effected me negatively at all, though I understand it was only a matter of time.
As far as my surgery.. I hate talking about it cuz it forces me to remember what I went through, and I honestly can't explain all the horrible details. If I actually could most people wouldn't believe me anyway.. that's how messed up it was. Let's put it this way, that 2.25 months spent in the hospital left me physically, mentally and emotionally scarred for life.
From being pushed into the surgery by my GI and the head of surgery at the hospital, being in so much pain that I pushed the Morphine button to the maximum and almost overdosed to the pain specialist interrogating about what "street drugs" I did while I was so sick I could barely speak. The night nurse sending 2 huge security guards to escort my girlfriend (who is 5'1, 110pounds) out of the hospital at 3am downtown Toronto (talk about dangerous!) forcing me to be all alone after the head nurse said she could stay with me.
Being left alone with no one answering the emergency button for over an hour forcing me to drag myself to the washroom to try and get something out and be sick.
No nurses, doctors would listen to me when I told them something was really wrong with me.. until a few days later I spiked a fever and couldn't stay awake, kept passing out. They finally decided to do an emergency CT scan and found 2 major absess in my abdomin caused by a hole in the bowel at the resection site(someone didn't know how to sew properly!). Drainage tube time!
Weeks later was sent home even though I told them something was still wrong (no one listened again), I was back in the ER in 3 days when I woke out of a dead sleep and projectile vomited over and over. Another emergency CT scan found from the resection site all the way down my bowels were collapsed and obstructed. Shove the drainage tube further in!
The hospital then made the most neglectful mistake yet when they put an elderly man with dimensia, whom didn't speak or understand english in my room. He and I were the only people in the room at the time. I found out a day later that he was originally in isolation due to the possibility of Tuberculosis, then moved to my room before the test results were concluded. Of course instead of waiting he was moved to my room while I was recovering, and yes he was positive for TB.
I called the section of the hospital that is supposed to deal with patient rights and help patients in need, to my surprise they conspired against me immediately and concocted a story that made it nearly impossible to do anything about the situation and or sue the hospital.
Anyhow.. that is not even all of the events or things I went through during my 2.25 month stay in the hell hole they call St. Michael's Hospital in Toronto, Ontario Canada!
So I tried to ignore my disease for as long as I could.
Yesterday was the first day I dropped my Methadone dose by 5mg (from 25mg to 20mg).
So it's Tuesday today and I took 15mg of Methadone this morning, I really felt the lack of opiates in my system about 10 minutes after I woke up and jumped in the shower. I decided NOT to take any of the Oxycodone last night cuz I was scared! I felt okay yesterday until about 7pm but didn't want to take an Oxycodone and something happen that late at night, and my girlfriend was at work til 10pm so I was alone.
I assume I'm gonna have to take a couple Oxycodone tonight cuz it's 10:30 and I feel really lagged out and tired.
Should I really be afraid to take one 5mg Oxycodone tonight when I only took 15mg of Methadone this morning? The only thing that worries me is the fact that Methadone stays in the system so long so realistically my system has approx. 25mg or more Methadone in my system that is slowly draining out with the dropping of dose even though I can't feel the effects.
My doctors seem to think it's perfectly safe but then again they have never taken these meds themselves...
So come on my experienced pals.. make me feel safe about this or I'm gonna make myself suffer.
Thanks again everyone!!! So appreciated.