I firmly agree with Chutz on this subject. I have dealt with CP for over 20 years. It has not been a picnic either. I have been up & down that highway of seeing different drs, having different treatments done, all the ups and downs of this or that not working. Was my pain controlled or managed, hell no. They didn't know what chronic pain was back
then. You were considered a whiner or a slacker. My goal to myself was to keep me going. There many, many, many days of suicidal thoughts because the pain was so bad and I was working in this condition in a high stress job. Some will get mad or upset over this next statement, but it can be a mind over matter thing. Thats how I managed to keep going. I was not going to let it beat me. Then, I became sick with different medical conditions and it was like a domino effect, watching them all fall, my health did just that. I gave up, I felt sorry for myself, I dwelled on the pain way too much, the sicknesses way too much, I became consumed with it. I did the poor me thing, the why me thing, I did id all, but I lost my fight that had kept me going for so long.
So, long story short, I spent a year in bed doing nothing. Worst thing I could have ever done to myself physically and mentally. I lost a year of my life by laying in a bed. When you take to the bed folks you lose all of your strength, your stamina, you have no muscle, you have nothing. That is why you don't give in and lay in a bed all the time. Of course you hurt when you try to get up and do something, you are moving and using muscles and parts of the body that suddenly have not been worked or used much. That just adds to the pain. You cannot spend your days in bed and then decide one day, hey, I think I will get up and do a load of laundry, of course your body is screaming at you, of course you are going to hurt like hell for the next week. Our bodies were not made to work that way.
It does not really matter if you are married or alone battling CP. I am very much alone with my CP except for when I come here and talk about it. Only a a fellow CPer can truly relate to what your day is like. I am married but my husband has no clue about CP, or anything else for that matter. Believe me he is just as sick of hearing me talk about it as I am having it, so I stopped discussing it with him or anyone else years ago. Because I don't sit around and talk about with people does not mean I am in denial either-oh I know very well what is going on with me first hand. I do not want CP or any of my other health problems to be the highlight of my day either.
I know in my heart and mind I have to be the one to take the bull by the horns and be willing to work around all the obstacles bad health has thrown my way. Oh, I still get mad and want to chunk it all when the psoriasis, cellulitis, crohns disease, ulcerative colitis, and good old CP kicks me right square in the arse and knocks me to my knees. But, I grab my boot straps and pull myself up cause I am not going to let it beat me down. Yes, I do have still have my pity parties and sometimes when I am really mad the old "why me" creeps back in and I slam the door on it real hard to keep it out. I keep my pity parties limited to one day only.
For the first time in many, many, many years my CP has been under the best control ever. This past year I have had the best control ever, only because of a new dr taking over my care. Am I pain free no, and if you have true CP you will never be pain free either. Forget about pain free days, they do not exist. Can I stand up straight, no, can I walk very far before the pain kicks in bad, no. The closest I get to standing straight is hanging onto a shopping cart. If there is no shopping cart to hang onto, I don't shop. The bottom line its like Chutz says, you have to learn to work with what you have and build from that. You take it one day at a time. One day at a time is the best any of us can do and there is nothing wrong with that either. I stop setting myself up for failure when I started living one day at a time.