Please excuse my horribly late response to your thread. *huggs* How are you holding up tonight? I hope a little bit better than last night. The pain you have had to endure the last few weeks would make a grown man weep. What stregenth you posses! *hugg* Is tomorrow your appointment? Has the snow eased up enough so you can get to your doctor? I hope it has, the last few weeks must have you down right exhausted.
please forgive me, but I am gonna take a bit to read the whole thread before I continue this response....
"any recommendations- besides a hot shower, i don't think i can stand that long, and the bath tub hurts to lay in it, so that is out too.."
Perhaps, but I don't know how you will feel about it. I use these little blow up pillows with suction cups on the bottom for baths. They slide though so you would need help entering the bath initally, but once you get weight on the pillow the suction cupps stay in place fairly well.
I am sorry your doctor wont just refil your meds. I get the impression my doctor calls in my scripts and makes sure there isnt any "lapses" because the medicines I take cause withdrawl. One in particular... *shiver* Have you been seeing your doctor for a long time? if so, perhaps in passing you could mention how hard this lapse was and if he would be willing to say, give 3 months worth? I don't know though, if they will already be stressed out you might not want to mention it.
..Oh! Michael made a great suggestion! That would keep you from withdrawl. Great Idea for sure.
Your husbands "tone" and thought process reguarding your chronic illness(s) is troubling. You mentioned he drives you to your appointments... Does he come into the patient room with you as well? If so I think it would be a good idea to ask direct questions of your doctor while he is present to eliminate his thought process reguarding you. IE " Dr, _____ has a hard time understanding the difference between a drugg addict who uses medicines to gain a "high" and someone who takes medicines for a chronic illness. Are there any resources or tools that you can provide us with?" or "_____ and I are having a hard time adjusting our relationship now that I have limitations. Is there some way that you could help?" You get the idea. Ask, nicely, while your husband is present. Address his... concerns.. directly to your doctor. Also a questions like "What are some of the health hazards to being in severe pain for prolonged periods of time."
You know, sometimes, it is hard to realize that .. and I do not by any means want to sound dramatic. But.. Today, now, is the best you will ever feel. You will never feel as good as you do today, tomorrow. And you will never feel as good as you do tomorrow, next week. What I mean by that, is that your time is precious. What time you have here is worth more than gold. You, above all else, deserve to spend that day, that moment, as comfortable as possible. Not in the precarious shadow of someone who will redicule, belittle and isolate you. You have more than enough burdon to bear in this life, without wasting one moment playing a party to his anger. I can understand he is mad, and goodness so are you. But together you are both ten times stronger than you are apart. No matter what happens down the road you both need to be able to communicate effectivly because you still need to co-parent. Perhaps, he needs to be reminded of that?
I am afraid I have to end this here or I will chat the night away. I do hope you can get to the doctor tomorrw. And more importantly, at some point, some much needed relief. You are in our hearts here. Stay strong!
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood