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White Beard
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3702
   Posted 2/24/2010 5:09 PM (GMT -6)   
To my dear CP Family

The last few weeks have been very trying for me. I have had some dental problems every since I had my Disk fusion in September. Well I kept putting it off and I waited to go to the dentist till my regular scheduled cleaning appointment and exam in January. Well at my appointment, I have found I have a cracked tooth (second from the back upper left side) I need a root canal and a crown, Medicare and Tricare do not cover dental, so I have choosen to wait, at least a little while before having it done. I was told to be extremely careful eating on that side of my mouth, as the tooth is fragile, and could easily shatter, and of course the pain just puts me through the roof when I bite down or anything, or when hot or cold touches it! So I have been careful! A week or so ago I was eating a salad, and I felt something hard , so I checked it out, it was half of a tooth, I checked my teeth, and my bad one was of course OK! I had no Pain! But the the exact same tooth on the upper right side, half of it was missing!!! I called my dentist and I was lucky and got in to my dentist the next day, he wants to put a crown on it. Again I told him it would have to wait, he reluctantly put in a temporary filling and built it up, so it resembles a tooth and there is no hole! It will not last but to be honest the other side must come first as that one is the killer as far as pain goes!

There are several reasons I have put it off, cost is of course one reason, but I have been having problems with my neck and the back of my head, I have had an MRI done a few weeks ago and it appears that the there is nerve root impingement on the right side at C2! Today I had an epidural steroid injection there, in hopes of giving me some relief, and I am scheduled for another one on the 10th of March! So Please Keep your fingers crossed for me that these injections work!

I have also been fighting with my Lawyer, I have had some problems with getting adequate representation????? (For lack of any better way to describe it!) With that said the stress level has been high for me the last few weeks or even months. In the end we did not have to go back to court the 23rd of this month, like it was scheduled! Instead everything was signed and submitted to the Judge, I just found out a few minutes ago, from my Lawyer, that the divorce has been finalized, and we should all be getting our notarized copies in a few days! So I am now divorced. I don't know how to feel? I do not feel sad, but I feel no since of joy either! You know we just had our 35th anniversary the 8th of this month, which of couse was not celebrated! I think, I am glad this part of my life is finally over! Maybe naively, I was hoping that we could at least in some way be on friendly terms, sadly that was not to be! This divorce got to be long and drawn out and turned very nasty! I am not at all sure what I would have done without having all of you here, giving me moral support and advice, both publicly and privately, I can't begin to tell you how much, all of YOU have meant to me!

I Thank each and every one of you!

White Beard

Retired Mom
Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 2/24/2010 5:17 PM (GMT -6)   
You have really been going through a rough time lately, but never cease to take the time to help others. I am personally grateful for your presence here on the board and for the kind words you always offer to others.

Divorce is like a death, no matter what the circumstances and who wants what. Please take the time to sort out all of your feelings and to let yourself adjust to the changes. We will be here to support you any time.

I wish you all the best!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 2/24/2010 6:20 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm so glad you started a thread to bring everyone up to date on all that's happening with you. Many stressful things, that perhaps you too often keep to yourself while only focusing on helping others? ;-)

I can understand that you may have many mixed feelings right now. Like retiredmom said it is a death of sorts, and needs to be grieved. Those 35 years, while maybe not all pleasant - or at least not ending right now on a pleasant note - still contained many good things, and a substantial part of your life. It may sound strange, but please take the time to honor that (even though you may not have positive feelings about your Ex right now). And of course, look forward at the same time!

Divorces can be hard, and lots of bitter feelings emerge in the process, but many people find a way to heal over time and become friendly if not friends. You've shared a lot of history together, including children and grandchildren. Try not to think that how things are now will be how they always will remain, although it takes two to make that happen, so it will be up to her, too.

As far as the dental issues - oh, wow, you know I understand that! All too well! And how much all it costs! When is dental insurance going to be a normal part of health insurance? I mean we know from our doctors (and dentists are doctors) that problems and infections in the mouth can lead to heart issues and other illnesses, so why shouldn't what's in our mouth be treated like any other part of our body. Oh, if I ruled the world....

I'm proud of you for bringing us all up to date, and allowing us to support you for a change!


Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9242
   Posted 2/24/2010 7:49 PM (GMT -6)   
My dear friend!

I know the pain you have been through and even those who haven't been through a divorce can empathize with you. I'm so glad it's finally over. No one ever wins in a divorce and I do know that you have felt very 'cheated' on many levels. But know that this family is with you 100%, 24/7. You are a very kind and loving shows in your posts and in the chat room. Right now you don't need to 'think' or 'feel' much of anything but day by day this will fall behind you and you will move on. Don't close yourself off to others (I know you won't) and when the time is right, get back out there and enjoy your life! We're all here to help you.

Warm hugs,
"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad."

(> <) Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, PTSD, UC, Diabetic on insulin, collapsed disk, arthritis scattered around and a few other delights.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 3089
   Posted 2/24/2010 8:21 PM (GMT -6)   
White Beard,

Thanks for the update! I've been wondering how you were doing. Does your dentist think that the tooth problems could be related to the fusion? I know that sounds kind of strange, but since it happened around the same time, I wonder if the two could be somehow related.

I really hope the epidurals help your neck! It's just one thing after another, right?! I'll say a prayer for you!

I'm happy for you that your divorce is over with, although I think the mixed feelings are quire understandable. Now all you have to do is get the house sold! I'm glad you decided to share with us.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1670
   Posted 2/24/2010 9:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh WB, I hate to hear you can't afford to fix your teeth. Nothing worse when its both sides too, hard to chew!

I hope you manage to afford a solution soon, my thoughts are with you, I've been wondering about you, golitho

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 358
   Posted 2/24/2010 9:00 PM (GMT -6)   
White Beard,
I'm so sorry to hear about all the stress in your life right now. My heart goes out to you on all levels. I'm with the girls about divorce, it was worse than death as with death there is at least a "ceremony" and a tombstone to mark the end of a lifetime. I'm sorry you've had to go through that and on top of everything the awful pain of teeth! I have a bottle, a tube and a marker thing of anbesol on my nightstand. I guess that says it all. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. And thank you for the kindness you've shown me since I've been here. It sounds like you've been a real blessing to everyone.
DXed-Syringomyelia C-1 to T-1, Hypothyroidism, Diabetes Type II, Adhesive Capsulitis "aka" Frozen Shoulder, IBS, Panic Disorder, ICC (Interstitial Cystitis), Fibromyalgia, Migraines, Bipolar Disorder, Chronic Muscle Spasms
Too many meds to name/Too many allergic reactions/sensitivities to too many drugs to name. Meds for Panic Disorder, Pain, Bipolar, IBS, Hypothroidism, Diabetes, Insomnia and then some.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 773
   Posted 2/24/2010 9:19 PM (GMT -6)   

HI Whitebeard,

You have been through so much!  Its funny and sad at the same time how we think we will feel over situations!  Its a mixed emotion for you regarding your divorce, you think you should feel happy, relieved and move forward.  In reality, you have had so much to face over the last year, the battles with the spouse, your daughter, trying to sell your house, SURGERY and now here you are faced with more problems.

Please give yourself a break, once you get the pain under control (again), the teeth taken care of and you've had time to "digest it all", then everything will calm down and you will adjust.

Till then know that you are in our hearts and prayers!


Pete trips again!
Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 2/24/2010 9:21 PM (GMT -6)   
Geeze Beard!
What a year!!! Holy Guacamoly! Reading your post and thinking about what you have been through this past year makes me think about how lucky I have been this past year. I can't tell you how closely your story reminds me of what could have happened to me.

I'm not sure if you were with us yet back when I was having problems w/ my marrage when I was still working down south and my wife was living here where I am now. I was crying and whining in this forum every day about how everything was going down the drain and I couldn't take it anymore! Crying like a baby!!!

Like you, so many members here were so good and supportive of me. I don't think I could have made it either w/o them! THANKS to all who have been and still are here for me! I thank God everyday for how things turned out w/ my wife.

There are other simmilarities to us that are so crazy! I had two teeth that split right up the iddle which couldn't be saved and had just finished having a root canal done on a third at the end of last year.

We also had the same side neck & arm> left going before our fusions. Now like you and I haven't told anyone this yet but the right side of my neck has been killing me for the last two weeks! Feels just like rthe other side did!!! I've been hoping it would just go away but it has just gotten worse! I'm so upset as I know you are about your right side!

My surgeon who I thought was so great at the time was supposed to do three disks and only did one which still think was a big mistake! I think when he got in there, he saw much more damage than he origanally thought and had to fix the area where my neck had been broken and the big spurs were cutting off the nerves. Because of that and I was in surgery so long, I think he blew off doing the other two disks which are now playing hell w/ my neck! It's agony all day long!

OMG!!! W.B. I'm so sorry! I just realized I've high jacked your post talking about myself!! What a jerk I am sometimes! Listen, I am sorry for what you have been through this passed year!! You are one strong man and one of my HEROs! I could have never made it through what you did this past year! No way! No how! I respect you more than I can say and while going through hell, you were always here helping everyone! You my friend are a Saint! And I mean that! Thank God we have someone like you here for us and I know I'm not the only one who thinks that way!

Three Cheers for White Beard! Hip, Hip ??? Come on friends and family, lets hear it for one of the Great Pillars of our Forum Family!!!

Proud to be your Brother W.B.


PS> Isn't it crazy how many things we have in common???

keep the faith
Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 91
   Posted 2/24/2010 11:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Count me in on supporting our dear friend.
You will grieve because this is like a be gentle with yourself and give it time.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 974
   Posted 2/25/2010 6:40 AM (GMT -6)   
WB, I was wondering what was up with you cause you hadn't posted in awhile. Take care and hope you can get your teeth taken care of soon. That's too bad that medicare doesn't cover dental. Is there some way your dentist could code it as oral surgery, I think it could be covered then?

Sorry to hear your divorce turned out to be so nasty. Have you & the X made a decision about your house? Take care and hope you feel better soon.
DDD, osteoarthritis, facet syndrome, fusion surgeries C-5/7 & L-4/5 both in 2006, torn meniscus surgeries left knee 2000 & 2002, buldging disc L-2/3

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16757
   Posted 2/25/2010 11:29 AM (GMT -6)   
WhiteBeard, it has been a very long hard year for you indeed. You will get through this in time. Deal with each emotion as it comes your way. Try to anticipate nothing, that is too taxing. I hope you will continue to stay the warm, wonderful person that each of us know here at the forum. We do count on you so much here. It is not worth becoming bitter over and allowing bitterness to sneak in and change you. You have lost enough just dealing with CP and other health issues.

Sure hope the epi takes care of some of this awful pain you are dealing with. Dental problems-arggh that is enough to drive a person crazy. I have another tooth that is a problem too. Its never ending. Take care of yourself and be extra kind to your body since you just had the epi.

crohns disease dx 2002 & small bowel resection, still looking for remission whatever that is, chronic pain 22 yrs, added ulcerative colitis 6-05 to the mix, high blood pressure 28 yrs, aortic heart valve insuffiency, depression, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis lumbar spine, scoliosis lumbar spine, peripheral neuropathy hands & feet, COPD & on oxygen therapy, lupus & psoriasis and psoratic arthritis. Several other health issues just not enough room to list it all. Too many surgeries to list and too many medications to list. Currently on 17 different daily medications. Intrathecal pain pump implanted June 05.

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 2/25/2010 12:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Whitebeard ~
I am so sorry to hear about all your certainly isn't easy. Not to mention having to deal with CP 24/7......if there is anything I can help you with, please let me know......being new to the group, I am just now catching up on everyones individual situations. Divorce is tough.......I hope when the dust settles you two can be friends? My thoughts and prayers are with you ~
Cardiomyopathy, Celiac Disease, High Blood Pressure, 2 Fusions @ L4, L5, S1, 2 Fusions @ C7 & C8, Implantible bone growth stimulator cervically, and soon to have Neurostimulation Therapy to treat lumbar, Chronic Pain Sufferer for 8 years, take several meds daily to survive! Looking for a miracle I think ~

Screaming Eagle
Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5005
   Posted 2/25/2010 12:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello White Beard! I hope you are doing better today. Man! Tooth pain is the worst! Then to have the stress of the Divorce on top of that can be quite stressful to say the least. Please give yourself some time to heal in all areas, and it may take a long time at that. There are a lot of memories to deal with, as you had a long term marriage.
My daughters are still struggling with this, and some of the friends that you both had together will struggle with it as well. In the end they will accept you for that man you are, with a good character. You are very well liked here, and I imagine that you have many friends around you there that feel the same.

It will take them a while to separate the truth, as I know for one how far that can get stretched out of proportion. Anger takes a while to tame, and then there will be days that you will feel totally opposite. I was married 24 yrs the first time, and I still am dealing with my emotions at times. I believe you are a good man, so keep your chin up, make sure you stay busy with something that will keep your head in a positive direction. You are one talented man in the arts, and I admire some of your work.

DDD (Degenerative Disk Disease) S1-L4-L5, Heart Attack 2002, Angioplasty to clear blocked Artery and to implant Stent. Six Epidurals, Disocgram, Melanoma Cancer 07, Lumbar Fusion March of 2010, Four cortisone injections Tendinitis in Elbow.

Post Edited (Screaming Eagle) : 2/25/2010 11:00:49 AM (GMT-7)

New Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 2/25/2010 1:13 PM (GMT -6)   
hi white beard,
i am so sorry that things havnt been to good for you recently,
thank you for your nice welcome to me to,

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 184
   Posted 2/25/2010 1:15 PM (GMT -6)   
i have no brillant words of wisdon other thanto send a warm hug and loving thoughts. I have not been on this list very long but in the time I have I have come to know you as a caring and loving person. I hope the pain of the divorce will ease and heal  and eventually turn into some kind of friendship for you and your ex.
I hope your dentist can help you with your dental problems.
I wish that some long lost unknown relative will leave you millions so all your financial burdens will be lifted ( and now that the divorce is over it will all be yours ;o)..
hugs and painless days to you
sick and tired of being sick and tired

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 453
   Posted 2/25/2010 10:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey WhiteBeard,
I'm very sorry about your dental problems I don't know of anything that hurts anymore than a sore mouth and teeth. I have to have some work done too but like you have to pace it so I pay for it.

Myself I haven't been divorced but have been married for 40 years. I can't say it was all wonderful but it wasn't horrible either. We talk now about how we were younger you'd wake up somedays and say "what the heck am I doing". We are glad now we stuck it out and think we are closer than we were several years ago. However, we have two daughters, 39 and 31 and both have had a divorce and we went through it with them and the grieving is really something serious and sombering. The one kiddo was only married to her man for 5 years but the older one was nearly 20 years and to us he is a family member so we do know some of the feelings. Time heals everything and I even see him healing which is a good thing but when he needs something he still calls on us for help and I wouldn't want it any other way. Take care.

White Beard
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3702
   Posted 2/26/2010 3:26 AM (GMT -6)   
My dear Cp Family I am simply over whelmed by your kind and loving response to my thread! I can't begin to even tell you how much you all mean to me! I value each and everyone of your responses, you have enriched my life beyond all measure, I do wish that it was possible to meet you all in person, I Thank YOU for your compassion and kindness! How can I adequately convey how I feel about all of you? Please know that when I say I think of all of you as MY Family I really do mean that! You have been there for me and helped through some very difficult and trying times. That means allot to me!

Again I Thank-You ALL!

White Beard

P.S. I do wish I could respond to each and everyone of you that posted, but as some of you know I have a difficult time typing, it takes me along time to type anything, and I have problems using my hands and arms sometimes.

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 358
   Posted 2/26/2010 4:11 AM (GMT -6)   
White Beard,
I feel the same and I'm new here. It's amazing how much strength we get from people we've never even met! What compassion everyone has, right? It's amazing how everyone rallies around us in our weakest hour. You were one of the first to show that kind of deep kindness to me, so how can I not want the absolute best for you? I'm amazed that you have come through the things I've read about your experiences and you are still standing! It's that in us all that helps the next person in their times of need. As this is never ending, we go on and on with love and support to this Family we have established. It was a choice for each of us to be here and I believe that is why we become enveloped with each other and why kindness returns kindness. I have prayed for you at times when I'm not even here online...during the day and night for me, I think of one (or several sometimes) of this Family we continue to build and I thank God for being a part of the lives of true warriors! So please, let me say thank YOU. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and I hope you get some relief and rest.
I'm called Cat, but as there are few other Cat's on here, I put the number of cats I have and combined it to spell out Catz4
DXed-Syringomyelia C-1 to T-1, Hypothyroidism, Diabetes Type II, IBS, Panic Disorder, ICC , Fibromyalgia, Migraines, Bipolar Disorder, Chronic Muscle Spasms, Torn Rotator Cuff in Left Shoulder, Had emergency surgery for ruptured bowel in '05 w/colostomy and takedown in '06.
Too many meds to name/Too many allergic reactions/sensitivities to too many drugs to name. Meds for Panic Disorder, Pain, Bipolar, IBS, Hypothroidism, Diabetes, Insomnia and then some.

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 2/26/2010 12:24 PM (GMT -6)   
   Dear WhiteBeard,
      Good morning *warm huggs* It is so good to hear from you! And more so, I am glad the the divorce is final. A long tiem comming and it must be a huge burdon off your shoulders. *huggs* I am so terribly sorry for my later response to your thread, I have had a rather tiring last few weeks.
      I am however very sorry you are having such a hard time with your teeth. All the problems you mentioned with them are all very costly to fixx. I do hope you are able to get them fully tended to soon!!! *hugg*
      I am afraid I dont have too much more time as I have eaten up the majority of my "me time". But please know you are in our hearts and prayers here!
*warm huggs*



Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood



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