i'm so flaring today (with my fibro). i have permanent charlie horses in my calves, and arms and my back feels like it's busting open.
i had a great run at things though over the last 2 weeks. i guess i finally had a flare free time. i went somewhere every day, i showered often, i cleaned, i moved things around, i had a total makeover, and i even volunteered to be the team mom (but the one that does all the calling).
it's so hard when you feel like this. i'm tired, weak, and in pain. those three are a terrible combination. and of course, i took my medicine too often a couple of days this month, so i'm out two days early. my husband found one of my pain meds and flushed it. i sure wish he hadn't done that. ....but that is another story.
then i did too much yesterday, i went to 8 store's trying to find my son decent solid black shoes for school (usually they are nike's), the cheaper ones won't hold up because they have a gravel play ground (new school), and some shorts or pants for school. i ended up spending $60 on his shoes. i think that is ridiculous. but they have to be solid black and they have to be "solid"..lol. and he wears a 5 1/2 mens (he's 9). o and i had to find swimming trunks and then they cancelled swimming today..thank goodness (i know bad right?).
i see my pain dr monday am (EARLY) and i'm telling him that my breakthrough meds just are not working. not that it matters much because my husband has asked me not to take them next month and he is holding my meds so when my feet hurt and stuff i wont overtake them, plus he thinks i take them to get high and i take too much, so i need to prove to him that i don't. (well i do sometimes, and i know i shouldn't)
so, i'm a little down, i'm freezing, and i have a migraine to top it all off, but i just took a nap and it feels better.
i'm still following the theory that i can lay down and be in pain or i can move and be in pain. i did go to two stores today and got groceries, but i crashed after that.
so i just need a little inspiration and talk is all, i'm down.
i did get terrific news today. the "man", he was 19 and i was 12, he was my best friends older brother, who raped me for over a year (and i never told anyone at the time), is going to prison for breaking into a home and drugs. WHHHHHEWWWW HEEEEEWWWWW!! I'VE NEVER FELT SO GOOD about SOMEONE GOING TO PRISON IN MY LIFE. i hope he gets raped in there. that is bad isn't it? i try to be positive, but in this case i can't.
the ironic thing is, i cried for a minute or so (had to stop because i was about to have a panic attack) about it this morning while talking to a friend about therapy. i have never cried about it, and it has been 15 years. i have always acted as if it were a "story" and i wasn't feeling it. i guess i'm finally dealing with it, but at the time i didn't know he was in jail on his way to prison.
thanks for listening (reading)
and mikel if you read this, i wrote your email wrong so please resend it to me.
thank you again
27 yrs old-Fibromyalgia; PCOS; Surgery induced Menopause; Classic Migraines with Aura; Neuropathy; Ankylosing Spondylitis w/ narrowing around the spinal cord; Spinal Stenosis of the Cervical & Lumbar Spine; other little things
Medications for pain: Oxycontin; Soma **will update when change meds for sleep, etc.
Other treatment: Aquatic Therapy (still have to start); Sleep Study (need a sitter)