I've decided, after thinking about this for a while, that maybe I ought to do a double topic. Two reasons, really; 1. Its easier for me. And 2. I don't wish to take up to much of my friends time on my petty, stupid problems. So This is a rant.....and I am gonna rant LOL! Most of you recall that my supposed mental health has been in question for the past year or so and that I have been seeing a Pain Psychologist for some of these problems. I really thought we had finally hit the end of this whole mess and that I would be getting the SCS trial very very soon. Yesterday I recieved a phone call from the receptionist of the other psychologist that had initially decided that I needed to see a Pain Psychologist for a year to get some things worked out. Now don't get me wrong, I am very, very grateful for everything that my Pain Psychologist and the one that did the initial eval for my SCS. What both have done for me has been a total 180 in my thinking and how I am able to handle daily stress and the all around daily life as a CP patient.
Anyway, the receptionist told me that my Pain doctor....by the way, I haven't ever seen the main pain doctor in the PCP group where I am a patient. I always see his PA. She is the one who relays the big things on to Doc and then HE decides what is best course of action. He was the one who, a year ago, sent a nasty letter to WC and got them to get me the 4th Eval for the SCS in the first place. Okay so this gal caught me off guard and said that I was refered from Doc to see the other doc (sorry if this sounds confusing) and instead of saying "Vickie we have a request from your pain doctor to do another SCS Psychological Evaluation." She made it sound like I was now getting the actual TRIAL! But, the more she talked and used words like "tests" I realised that I was now going backwards in time and an appointment for a Psychological Evaluation for the SCS was in the works.
Now....my little brain I guess is too small to wrap around this fact, but why in the heck are we doing ANOTHER evaluation??? What features of these stupid and brain numbing psych tests do they think will change from the last ones??? I don't know how to pass this stupid test and apparently, though they tell me "there is no right or wrong answer" there IS!! UGGGGGGGG!!!
Okay now to get to my current problem. It's 3:09 am and I am up thinking about all of this noise that is going on and wondering of because when we began this Pain Psychologist a full year ago that my Insurance and not WC was billed for this and Wyoming Worker's Compensation cannot get or even ask for access (well I suppose they could ask.....but they are going to get a HELL NOO answer) to my pain psych's notes or what we even spoke of; that WC is decided to be a pain in my side and get another eval.
Oh Lord keep me sane until the 13th!!!!! That's when I see Doc, not his PA for the SCS trial. Or at least it is to be hoped. My SCS Eval. is the 31st. Hubby is really ticked off about this whole thing and says that even an animal wouldn't be left in this much pain. I feel like I am at the end of my rope my friends......I just don't know how much more of these new diagnosises I can take or how many more stupid hoops I must jump through!!!!
Sorry this has been so long my dear friends. I had to talk to someone and hubby is not being very helpful as far as a shoulder to lean on.
I live to "Tame My Pain!"