All of you guys amaze and inspire me. I honestly grew up with the best childhood imaginable and didn't learn about
"bad" people until I was 12 (with my future "now ex" brother-in-law. Then high school taught me more about
things people do to each other. Then I was too ashamed to tell of the things done to me. It would have been impossible to face my family then. Now I have PTSD, but who really doesn't when you look back.
Anyway, I chose to be the criminal justice gal, the tough one on the exterior (leaving the inside raw and torn) and trying desperately to be a good wife (and later mother). I became so affected that I couldn't even read the files anymore to find out what the criminals admitted to doing. Mind you, the information was minimized by the ones who did it, but I couldn't live with what I read anymore. It was too close to home in the heart of me. You see, I believe that many of us were so victimized that our bodies couldn't contain the emotion anymore.
This is why I see you guys as such an inspiration. I read what you have written and am touched by emotion because of your survival and your concern for others. I've always been referred to as hard and cold and unfeeling, but I'm so unlike what people see. I was even told that I could never be a good mother because I had no feelings. Naturally, I looked this hateful woman directly in the eyes and told her she sees exactly what I want her to see. My child is my world and I never stop telling (or showing) her how much I love her. I think my worst flaw with her is that I am so over-protective that I have a hard time letting her go anywhere where I don't have control of her environment.
I'm rambling now, but I just wanted you guys to know that your words are read and are inspiring to others.
DDD, CHRONIC PAIN SYNDROME, TLIF L5-S1 2009 (failed), FIBRO, MINEYER'S (SP?), VERTIGO, MIGRAINES, GERD, SLEEP DISORDER, NISSEN FUNDOPLICATION (failed), DEPRESSION, EXTREME ANXIETY DISORDER, OCPD, PTSD, CHRONIC MUSCLE SPASMS, HUMAN GROWTH HORMONE DEFICIENCY, VITAMIN D DEFICIENCY, CARPLE TUNNEL SYNDROME, EXTREME IDIOPATHIC HYPOGLYCEMIA FROM AGE 12