Thank you all very much for your replies. Your support means the world to me!
I began reading the novel this morning in detail. It is very odd reading about yourself from someone elses point of view. The first two pages are about me, physically and mentally. Descriptions like "Well groomed." "Articulate" "Active despite marked deformity." "Adjusted" "Ambidexterious"
... I never really thought doctors cared how you look or how you adjusted to new physical limitations.
I am having a hard time understanding that at the dropp of a dime I will no longer be seeing my spine specialist. We are friends... I was very comfortable with him. I hope this new spine specialist is nice.
Yes. Apparently if I cannot wait til my new appointment, my primary care can go into more detail. But, I don't feel like I should waste an extra co-pay. I think I shall wait till I meet the new spine doctor. Then if I still have questions, I will go to my primary and tlak to him about it all.
Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragment. It means a great deal to me.
Thank you for your support. I cannot express enough how much it means to me! Im no sure how calm I sounded. Was shocked and dismayed more than anything. I guess I will know more next month. I know I should be greatful for another new doctor.... But I liked my spine specialist. I don’t know why I need a new one...
Last night I felt very overwhelmed. And frankly..betrayed. A lot of this collective report talks about diagnosises that I was given last fall/winter 09. I cannot help but wonder why noone told me. I know I had a lot going on and multiple surgeries..But im not fragile you know. They could have said something. Instead they all sounded like each one was echoing the others words. "Don't worry about that now, focus on healing." "You are doing great, keep positive." "It's nothing you need to concern yourself with right now. Lets us worry about it." "No cause for alarm, but I will need you to see a few new doctors." ... I must have heard "don’t worry" about a thousand times.
Apparently the appointment I made (thinking back now..no wonder it was so weird when I was trying to set up appointmentlast week!!!) is with one of the two new doctors who will be treating my spine. I am going to miss my old spine specialist.. we were friends. I was very comfortable with him. What if I don’t like the new spine guy? And do I really need some lady just to keep track of my medicines and check my physical health every month? gosh...
Argh. WHy so many new doctors all at once? I still havnt met this ENT fellow or this Neurology doctor. I don't like all these "new" people. It makes me feel nervous and self conscious.
I hope this doctor helps me to be able to walk. I hope he/she is supportive about my trip next month. Now I am wondering if I shouldn’t have told my doctors sooner. Argh, that what I get for procrastinating.
Thank you for your support. It means a great deal to me. *hugg*
You asked~~> Do all these reports mean you need a spinal fusion, top to bottom??
Gosh, I wouldn’t think so.. I only read about "mild degenerative" in cervical. The majority of the radiology reports was about thoratic and lumbar and sacral. Those areas took up 6 pages. So, your guess is as good as mine. I guess we will find out soon enough?
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood