My bumblebees are excited that the school year is almost over. They both have chorus preformances and have been praticing to no end! But, I think what they are most excited about is going to florida to see their grandmas, granpa and great paw paw. Their birthdays will be celebrated while we are in Florida, so we have a special "Disney Land Magic Kingdom" birthday planned. I hope they like their suprise birthday. I am also trying to finish my latest jewelry project in a hurry, as I want to make them both watches for gifts.
My husband just celebrated his birthday and I spent a loong time making his "big gift" from me. Butterscotch fudge, buckeye candy, butterscotch and milk chocolate candy bars, white chocolate lollipops, and white chocolate creme de menthe truffles. The girls made him key chains and lanyards for work. Our youngest little bee made one with her picture, little silver horse, and "key" charms and of course lots of sparkly beads. Our oldest busy bee made one with her picture, little silver fairy, "key" & "love" charms. It warmed his heart and I could tell he was touched. The store bought gifts this year were a new laptop & mouse. He has been doing computer electronic things all morning... so, I think he liked those too.
I am... digesting things. Recieving the report that the rheumatologist complied for me has been emotional for me. I was told the "Mechanisim" of what was wrong with my body last fall, what would have to be done to combat the problems... But I was never give a diagnosis name. Looking back, so many people said repeatedly, "What is the cause of your boneloss?". I would reply,"I have a low calcium absorption rate. It is 0.0025 -0.0026" I was never given any other information. So many people said, "Oh, you have osteoperosis?" and I would say,"No, I don't think so." When I looked up osteoperosis on the internet there was the same exact discription my doctors had given me over & over, only difference was I finally had a "name" for the boneloss.
Looking back, even when the nurse said, "Oh possible hypoparathyroidism." I was never told of the "name" of that one either from my doctors, I was just told the mechanisim in my body and what it was causing IE Congenetial cataracts, "crying" feeling in throat, deep burning, extreme tooth loss and a whole concophany of minor persistant aliments that soon subsided by the 3rd month of treatment. You know I was never even told I have insomnia? I found out from a perscription bottle. I know of course I woke up all night long.. but I had always assumed that "Insomnia" was the way it is protrayed on the television. One thing I know for sure, I hope my doctors continue to be this direct and forth comming from here on out.
The radiologist report is startling. I have cried many times since recieving it. I remember last year I was told "Mild to moderate curvature of the lumbar spine, called levoscoliosis." ...Now reading about increase in the Lumbar levoscoliosis was upsetting, but expected. My left hip sticks out prodominantly and rotates towards the rear. There was no denying the lumbar deformity had increased... but it was the rest of the report that had me reeling.
HOW dose that happen to a spine to QUICKLY? My last X rays were not more than a year old. I knew I had jumped immensily in pain, balance & endurance. I knew I had suddenly began dropping in hight.. 3.5 almost 4 inches.. But nothing could have prepared me for what the last pages of the report found....
Secondary dextroscoliosis of the thoratic spine. An entire new curvature with rotation on the verticle axis? How could that be? In such a short amount of time?? ..it certianly explains the loss of hight. The intense "Itching under the skin" inbetween my shoulder blades that had begun at the end of last summer. The itching that could only be "scratched" by the "massaging high powered spray" of the front guest bathroom shower.... The "Balls of muscles" in the same area that came without any kind of warning or justification... It makes so much sense now.
Narrowing of the spinal canal. "Stenosis". Where the vertebre is rotated on the verticle axis in the curves. Well... that explains the severe increase in pain since Christmas. Given the early pages of the report facet arthropy wasnt a suprise. The term "comes with the territory" comes to mind.
...I really don't think the radiologists (It looks like 3 signed off on my x rays...) had to add in all the disc space narrowing. I would think at this point it would be a given. Never the less it was added in to the report. Nothing, if not detail oriented.
What added insult to injury was the final page. Sclerosis of the sacroiliac joints. Great. Hardening of joints that had already previously rotated on the verticle axis over a year ago. Fantastic. My spines version of a "cherry on top" apparently.
..I cried while I tried to write in my journal. I cried while I tried to make the butterscotch fudge...and burned it, twice. Cried while I tried to make it through my increasingly painful days. ....now that I am out of tears all I can think is what , if anything, can be done to stop the progression. I have an appointment with the new spine doctor the week before I leave. What, if anything, can they do to help me walk? The uneven weight is tearing my knees apart. I hope they can help me to get a brace to help even out the weight of my torso.. Or perhaps send me to someone who can add extra sole on to my right shoe to help my "gait". I think my biggest worry is A) That they wont be able to make walking less painful before I leave to Florida B) That my spine is beyond repair.
I know, after everything I mentioned, this last fear seems selfish and vain. But, my husbands family.....what if they stare at me? What if they don't recognize me anymore? Will I be treated differently now that I am sick? Will I embarrass them? ..I know, the least of my worries.
So, now that I have written a short novel I will end this here. I didnt want to Hijack your thread where we wanted to hear an update from you. But, I know you have asked me many time how I am doing this last week, and dodged the questions everytime. I am sorry friend. I didnt mean to be rude, I just had alot on my mind.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood