Sorry I haven't been on here much lately. I've been dealing with so much. The car accident and all the bills that follow; my dog mauling my arm very badly; and the constant pain and misery from the RSDS. Not to mention, I just got fired from my job a couple weeks ago. I know it doesn't sound all that bad to most, but my life really sucks. I know it could probably be worse. Much worse. But, lately, I really feel so helpless and hopeless. I'm having really huge money problems, and with my boyfriend working the much needed overtime, I'm so lonely without my dog/best friend here with me. Everyday I wait for him to greet me at the door when I get home, and everyday I'm forced to realize that he's never going to greet me at the door ever again. I don't have children, so my 3 year old Neopolitan Mastiff, Dago, was all I had. (Besides my bf, Brian, who's never home to help me with anything but paying the bills.) I miss Dago so much. He was my whole world. We had him imported from Italy when he was 12 weeks old. He was a direct decendent from the pure-blooded breed of Molossus, which were ancient Roman war dogs. Unfortunately, because the bloodline was so pure, certain traits were needed to be bred into and out of him for him to be domesticated, and those were not taken into account. He was my best friend, but also a cold-blooded killer. He started to show signs of aggression, but we just chalked it up to him getting older and more protective and territorial. The first night we moved into our new house, he bit Brian. Not on purpose (at least we don't think it was on purpose.) It was our first night in the house, and as always, Dago and I were in bed before Brian. It was really dark, and as Brian slid the blanket Dago was sleeping on to make room for himself (Dago was 200lbs.), it startled him and he nipped him. When Dago realized that he had bitten "Daddy," he immediately laid down with his head down. Brian needed stitches and had to be off work for a week because he's a welder, and he needs the use of both of his hands to work. The aggression continued when Brian and I would argue and Brian would raise his voice, Dago would start barking and would make his way closer to Brian. Sometimes he would chase Brian right out the door, and he couldn't come back inside until he had completely calmed down. The night Dago bit me, something was terribly wrong with him. He had just snapped. My bf and Dago were on the couch and I was on the floor, and we were just petting him and giving him love. When I started to get up to go to bed, Dago grabbed my arm. He wouldn't let go. Brian started choking him and finally wrestled him to the floor and stepped on his neck, and he finally released my forearm. I calmly walked out into the foyer, and Brian followed me crying hysterically. I didn't even want to look at my arm. Brian tied a pair of jeans around my arm and called an ambulance because the car was in the shop from the car accident 3 days prior. I stayed with my parents after I left the hospital,and my mom drove Brian and Dago to the vet to have him put to sleep. My last memory of my best friend was him viciously attacking me. I have images every night when I lay down to try to sleep. It takes about an hour of re-living that and the several car accidents I've lived through until my mind is so tired of going through the tragedies, that I finally fall asleep. Aside from the RSDS, now I have to live with this pain in my left forearm. There is so much nerve damage, my doctor doesn't even want to talk about any plastic surgery for at least 6 to 12 months. This sucks. I miss my baby Bubbaloo (that was Dago's nickname.) My psychiatrist told me to get another dog, but I'm too scared to even walk by one. I love dogs. I still love Dago, even after what he did to me. The vet said he had a genetic chemical imbalance, and that as he grew older, it would worsen, and we would've had to put him down to protect ourselves and other people and animals. This sucks. Really sucks. I'm so lonely and I'm in so much physical and emotional pain. Oh, and I forgot to mention: I asked my doc about a patient assistance program for my pain meds, and he told me to give the info I had brought with me to the office staff when I checked out. Upon receiving the paperwork, I was told by the staff that, "We don't help with these programs for pain meds." That was the icing on top of the crappiest cake. Now I'm broke, unemployed, severely wounded and living with RSDS without any health insurance/care, and without any help. Or hope, for that matter. I just can't seem to catch a break. Everyday I wake up thinking,"Is today the day that my life will turn for the better? Maybe I'll win the lottery, and then I can afford all of the necessary treatments I need!" I joined a bible study to strengthen my faith, so I guess the rest is in God's hands.
Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome of the Left lower extremity