Awww Catahoula, I'm sorry you're feeling this way....I've been in the same kind of mood lately. I've been dealing with chronic pain for probably 30 of my 48 years. I had Fibro symptoms when I was 15 and it's never gone away. As the years go by, it's gotten worse, and then you add in all the other stuff that's going wrong in my body, and it just becomes too much.
I don't know if I believe in the whole "trauma = fibro" theory, but I lived a pretty weird life in my teens - I was on my own at 15, I lived with whoever had a couch I could flop on and there were lots of parties, with a lot of drinking and drugs. I often found myself waking up passed out who knows where....so who knows "what" might have happened in those times. I've read the theories that a trauma of some type can trigger Fibro in some people, and I don't doubt that's what I had happen. Still, I do sometimes question "why".
In addition to the Fibro, I have chronic pelvic pain, and no one on my medical team at the Pain Centre seems to agree with what's causing it. It appears to be a muscle problem, and I have all these trigger points in my pelvic region and on the abdominal wall, but from what? Where did they come from, and why won't they go away....blah blah blah. No one knows.....so I live in pain and in limbo. And I'm STILL waiting for an appointment with a particular orthopedic surgeon regarding my hip issues and what's to be done with that. * le sigh*
I really feel for you. It's such a tough thing to live like this without answers and without results and improvements. Vent away...we all know what you're experiencing, that's for sure.
I know for me that my faith as a Christian is what keeps me going. I don't know if you have a religion or a spiritual belief, but I do find it a big comfort in my life. I hope that you're able to work through the darker days and stay positive that things will get better. I really hope that your doctor(s) is able to help you get relief and that all the treatments etc. that you need for improvement are made available to you quickly, so you're back on track fast.
I'm glad you posted this. I know we all probably think it and feel it and ask it as well. I pray constantly for the people in these forums, for healing and strength and comfort. None of us deserve what we're going through, but here we are in the trenches and still fighting the battle. I'm thankful for the others here who help me get through another day. ;-)
Conditions: Fibromyalgia, Severe Myofascial Pain, Chronic Pelvic Pain (with permanent muscle damage), Femoralacetabular Impingement (CAM and Pincer), Reynauds, IBS, Surgical Adhesions, Ophthalmic Migraines, Severe Hot Flashes (both Surgical Menopause and medication related), plus physically unable to vomit due to the Nissen, and I have extremely tiny veins with a lot of scar tissue...a joy when it comes to having to give blood or get an IV started
Surgeries: Appendix, Uterus, Nissen Fundoplication for GERD, Left Ovary, Gallbladder, Right Ovary, TVT
Medications: Oxycontin, Cesamet, Tramacet, Cymbalta, Flexeril and Clonidine plus Laxaday, Vitamin D and a Multi-Vitamin daily