Finding it hard to stay positive

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 6/5/2010 7:30 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm new to this board. I have really bad osteoarthritis in my knee from a car accident (was hit by a car). After a couple surgeries, the arthritis got really bad, and now every couple of years, my knee gives out. I end up on a cane and barely able to walk. I now had my 4th surgery (I'm 32) and the pain isn't going away. I go to PT faithfully, do my "homework," am getting whatever injections my doctor suggests, but nothing is helping. I'm in good shape otherwise and even lost 15 pounds recently, so that's not really a factor in any of this. But it's been almost two months this time around with no end in sight. We're going to try synvisc again, but my doctor is warning me that it may not be as effective this time around. I feel...betrayed by my own body. I don't even know what to do. I'm trying to stay positive and keep my life going but I'm so exhausted and I just want to see some progress. The idea that I'm doomed to feel this much pain for the rest of my life is too much to bear.

I did try PRP and had no results from it. I really have tried everything. Short of a replacement, I'm not sure what my options are. And at my age, it's very hard to get doctors and insurance to sign off on that.

Anyway, just venting. It's hard to talk about this with other people because all they say is, oh, it will get better. But...will it?

Retired Mom
Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 6/5/2010 9:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Fashion,
I don't believe we have met before and I wanted to say hello.  You seem to be having a particularly down day right now and could use some encouragement.  I wish I had the answers for you, but I can only give you the encouragement part.
Please keep posting.  I'm sure there will be others along soon who can give you good advice as well as support.
Best to you!
Retired Mom

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 40
   Posted 6/5/2010 10:48 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm sorry to hear all that you've been going through. I am glad you found this forum. I've found that it can be very helpful to vent and get your frustrations out here. You will also meet some very nice people who really do try and help encourage you through the very difficult points in your life. I wish I could tell you that it will get better but truthfully, I don't know if it will or not. All you can really do is hope for the best at this point. The last few weeks I've decided to stay as positive as I possibly can about everything and to try not to let anything get me upset or really stressed. It has helped with the pain and has made me a much happier person. It takes a lot to get to this point. I have a lot of support from my family and friends and I also have been praying a lot. I believe in God and have been trying to read more books by a few christian authors that have really helped quite a bit. Being negative and getting upset just leads to more stress and I have also found that the more stressed you are, the more pain you are in.

I hope some of this helps. Write back later when you get a chance. I hope you will start to get some relief soon.


Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9250
   Posted 6/6/2010 1:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Fashion!

Welcome to the Family!! I'm sorry you have to be here but at least you have found a wonderful group of folks who totally understand what you are going through. It's even more frustrating for you because of your age, IMHO. And I've seen the same thing you are experiencing with doctors and insurance companies...when younger people have problems with pain or "older people" disorders then it's nearly impossible to get them to approve it.

Have you considered trying another doctor for a second opinion? Sometimes that can be invaluable before you make any major decisions. Another thought is to get an appointment with a doctor at a university/teaching hospital. Here's a link to a list of teaching hospitals around the world. It would be worth the drive to have a doctor there go over your case. These folks are out on the leading edge of technology, often have research or clinical trials going and don't give up just because you are young...or old for that matter. ;-) Here's the link:

Hope this helps! In the mean time we're always here for you to lean on and to listen.

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein

(> <) Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, PTSD, UC, Diabetic on insulin, collapsed disk, arthritis scattered around and a few other delights.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 914
   Posted 6/6/2010 4:34 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Fashiongirl , Welcome to the Chronic Pain family . I'm sorry to hear about your accident and subsequent issues with pain and surgery .I need hip surgery and my knee is now hurting too . I started eating totally healthy about 2months ago and went from wheelchair to walker to a cane and feel a lot better also you should check your vitiamin d level , if its low that can contribute to pain .You may need knee replacement , which is tough , but research it thoroughly .What do your x-rays and orthopedic doctor say ? Your right that because your young people might question some aspects but you were in a serious accident after all , not your fault in any way and deserve as much help as anyone . Have you tried talkinhg to a pain therapist ?They help you deal with the emotional aspects of your pain, like depression , moodiness , staying positive .I see my therapist once a week and ir really helps keep me on track . The best of luck to you , continue to post here as well , this is a great support system and source of advice and empathy from people in the same boat . Mikel

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 6/6/2010 8:46 AM (GMT -6)   
   Dear Fashionista,
     Good morning. I can't seem to remember if we have met or not... SO let me introduce myself now! My name is dani. * hugg* I will be 30yrs young soon. Though I did not have a trauma related injury, my injuries are from pretty rapid progressive health problems, most notably my spinal deformity. All within the last 3 years. Which just means I look good in curves! hehe. It sure is nice to meet you. I see you spent some time in the osteoarthritis forums, and I wanted to encourage you to come here to the chronic pain forum aswell. Often as you like! I can tell you are a very caring person and I think you'll fit right in with us!
     You know... I have had so many people send me emails (some not so very positive) ..but what I hear most often is "How do you stay so positive", "You must be on good meds to be so happy", "Why are you so happy all the time" favortie to date is "Not everyone can be stupidly happy all the time".
     Yet just three years ago I so angry! I screamed at the spine specialist! Sreaming, "What *&^& do you mean 'you don't know'?!" "You do too know God *&^%$# fix it! Fix it now! **** you! You do know fix it!! FIX IT!!!"
     That poor man, all he did was read me an xray report and I was ready to toss him and his decades if medical experience to the wolves. Come to think of it, I am sure suprised he even stayed on as my spine specialist for over a year.....
     I ended up going to see a pain psychologist. Mourning the loss of who I once was ..that was hard. It all happened so fast, less than a year prior to that I was a mountian hiking, back packing camper with boundless energy. Noone would listen to me in the beginning! In the end a simple X Ray told them all they needed to know! I was reduced to barley able to walk, lay, stand or sit so very fast. But, with step by step guidance from my pain psychologist I was able to mourn who I once was, and re build everything about myself. How I lived, my likes and dislikes. My automatic response to pain (behaviroual therapy), biofeedback, how I interacted with others socially. In other words, it is like having a guide to teach you to re learn your responses to everything about yourself, and help create the new you. I remember at one point during hobbie sharing, I was so intrested in learning oil painting hobbie, and telling others about my adventures in oil painting... it was hard to even fathom that I was ever that person who was. I was positive as much as possible in the begining, but down and angry about half of the time due to my pain and suffering before I met the my pain psychologist.
      What a blessing a psychologist with training in chronic and terminal illness can be. If your insurance allows you access to one, I suggest you find out who they are and research them on the internet before you decide on your "introduction appoint list". Even if your insurance dosnt cover or only partially covers one, go to your local university. Even though it is a teaching hospital, you will still see a season veteran, but often will have either a student in the room with you or students learning from your case file behind the scenes. The more "real world" experience they can get, the sooner they can change others lives aswell.
     More than anything, I want you to know that it is okay to be sad. It is okay to miss the person you once were. The trick is to get back to building the new you as soon as you are past the deep sadness. Mourning the loss of who you once were is the hardest in my opinion. But, it does ease with time, especially if during the "up times" you are learning how to become the new you. With new intrests, new friends, new understanding, new pace in life. But, a word of caution. If you get to the point where you have repetative thoughs, repetative negative thoughts that just can seem to stop, tell you regual doctor, or who ever you see the most (primary care).
      Many of us..I mean ALOT, add in antidepressants to our daily cocktails of pain meds. They can help lesson the brains "response" to pain, so it isnt so alarming. Help with mood transitions. Increase the effectiveness of your other pain meds. Many of the ones perscribed that are more common it seems, is Cymbalta, Lyrica, Amitryptaline ( I take the latter myself). .....but dont worry if you do try one and it doesnt work right away, all of them seem to take an amount "built up in your system" before they begin to work & then most people are slowly increased or decreased depening on your bodys response to them. So, anywhere from 2 weeks to a month (initally I was a little over month first time).
     I see I am sitting here chatting away! I am sorry, I get chatty in the mornings. I do hope you are able to rest at some point today. You have been through an awfull lot every day for a while now. So, take it easy! And hopefully we will hear from you again! Welcome to the Chronic Pain Family!
*warm hugg*
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
Chronic Pain Moderator

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 1713
   Posted 6/6/2010 9:07 AM (GMT -6)   
Fashion girl, I am praying for you. Don't give up or think you are doomed to feel this level of pain the rest of your life. I don't believe that is true. I have pain since I was 28 and first diagnosed with fibromyalgia and lumbar disc disease. The pain I have experienced has been different at different times in my life, (I am now 58) Be strong in the Lord and give your problems over to Him) You will be fine, I know it. God bless you. Do not be discouraged, I am there for you.

Co-Moderator Chronic Pain and Fibromyalgia Forums
Believe in yourself.  Be kind to fellow humans and animals.  Take time to smell the flowers and the coffee.
And by all means, when you are down, ask me for help.  I will be there.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 6/6/2010 9:38 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks guys. I'm on my 4th doctor right now, he is with a teaching hospital. He's much better than the previous surgeons (i.e., doesn't just try to cut me open first thing). Maybe I should see someone--I've never been one for therapy (dad's a shrink, :-) ) but I'll look into it. I live in NYC so getting around is really difficult and not fun. No car, just me and the cane. I'm hoping the sinvisc will help and should be getting that this week. After that, I don't know what plan C is but am going to find out. I like knowing my options so I can plan accordingly.

I have prepare for a day of errands and "running" around. I hope everyone has a nice day.
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