Good morning. I can't seem to remember if we have met or not... SO let me introduce myself now! My name is dani. * hugg* I will be 30yrs young soon. Though I did not have a trauma related injury, my injuries are from pretty rapid progressive health problems, most notably my spinal deformity. All within the last 3 years. Which just means I look good in curves! hehe. It sure is nice to meet you. I see you spent some time in the osteoarthritis forums, and I wanted to encourage you to come here to the chronic pain forum aswell. Often as you like! I can tell you are a very caring person and I think you'll fit right in with us!
You know... I have had so many people send me emails (some not so very positive) ..but what I hear most often is "How do you stay so positive", "You must be on good meds to be so happy", "Why are you so happy all the time"..my favortie to date is "Not everyone can be stupidly happy all the time".
Yet just three years ago I so angry! I screamed at the spine specialist! Sreaming, "What *&^& do you mean 'you don't know'?!" "You do too know God *&^%$# fix it! Fix it now! **** you! You do know fix it!! FIX IT!!!"
That poor man, all he did was read me an xray report and I was ready to toss him and his decades if medical experience to the wolves. Come to think of it, I am sure suprised he even stayed on as my spine specialist for over a year.....
I ended up going to see a pain psychologist. Mourning the loss of who I once was ..that was hard. It all happened so fast, less than a year prior to that I was a mountian hiking, back packing camper with boundless energy. Noone would listen to me in the beginning! In the end a simple X Ray told them all they needed to know! I was reduced to barley able to walk, lay, stand or sit so very fast. But, with step by step guidance from my pain psychologist I was able to mourn who I once was, and re build everything about myself. How I lived, my likes and dislikes. My automatic response to pain (behaviroual therapy), biofeedback, how I interacted with others socially. In other words, it is like having a guide to teach you to re learn your responses to everything about yourself, and help create the new you. I remember at one point during hobbie sharing, I was so intrested in learning oil painting hobbie, and telling others about my adventures in oil painting... it was hard to even fathom that I was ever that person who was. I was positive as much as possible in the begining, but down and angry about half of the time due to my pain and suffering before I met the my pain psychologist.
What a blessing a psychologist with training in chronic and terminal illness can be. If your insurance allows you access to one, I suggest you find out who they are and research them on the internet before you decide on your "introduction appoint list". Even if your insurance dosnt cover or only partially covers one, go to your local university. Even though it is a teaching hospital, you will still see a season veteran, but often will have either a student in the room with you or students learning from your case file behind the scenes. The more "real world" experience they can get, the sooner they can change others lives aswell.
More than anything, I want you to know that it is okay to be sad. It is okay to miss the person you once were. The trick is to get back to building the new you as soon as you are past the deep sadness. Mourning the loss of who you once were is the hardest in my opinion. But, it does ease with time, especially if during the "up times" you are learning how to become the new you. With new intrests, new friends, new understanding, new pace in life. But, a word of caution. If you get to the point where you have repetative thoughs, repetative negative thoughts that just can seem to stop, tell you regual doctor, or who ever you see the most (primary care).
Many of us..I mean ALOT, add in antidepressants to our daily cocktails of pain meds. They can help lesson the brains "response" to pain, so it isnt so alarming. Help with mood transitions. Increase the effectiveness of your other pain meds. Many of the ones perscribed that are more common it seems, is Cymbalta, Lyrica, Amitryptaline ( I take the latter myself). .....but dont worry if you do try one and it doesnt work right away, all of them seem to take an amount "built up in your system" before they begin to work & then most people are slowly increased or decreased depening on your bodys response to them. So, anywhere from 2 weeks to a month (initally I was a little over month first time).
I see I am sitting here chatting away! I am sorry, I get chatty in the mornings. I do hope you are able to rest at some point today. You have been through an awfull lot every day for a while now. So, take it easy! And hopefully we will hear from you again! Welcome to the Chronic Pain Family!
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
Chronic Pain Moderator