My Sob Story (better get the tissues) LOL!

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New Member

Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 7/4/2010 2:09 AM (GMT -6)   

Well okay, here it is.

February 16th 2009

It was week before our vacation. My wife and I were going on a cruise to Jamaica and Grand Cayman on the beautiful Navigator of the Seas, sigh. I am a total cruise junky.  blush

Anyways I was going in to the office on a Saturday to get crap done so I din’t fall behind when I was gone for the two weeks.

At this point, I was a somewhat successful, "normal" 29 year old male with average health. Slightly overweight but I have a normal diet and lifestyle for someone my age.

Then it happens. I had seen this car with a number on it to call if interested and so I was storing the number on my phone, yes, while driving. nono

There was hardly anyone around except for a few cars that were way far up the road. Well I ASSumed they were turning at the light but the car in front of this huge truck was turning into a business and the truck came to a sudden, almost complete stop. I looked up just in time to see I was hitting him.

I was going about 40. The truck was an F350. It did not move when I hit it.

I was in a Taurus and the trailer hitch of the truck pierced the bumper of my car and hit the frame, bending the frame into the radiator and then the engine compartment. The car was totaled, but there was not a scratch on even the trailer hitch of the truck??? Who knows.

I was aware that my neck snapped but I didn’t go to the hospital.

I really didn’t think much of the whole thing, other than it sucked for my car.

A week after we got home from our trip I started to feel funny. I would have these terrible dizzy spells. I actually fell down the stairs and landed in the laundry basket once. They only lasted for a few minutes a day. Then it got more frequent and more severe. Then they got longer and longer to the point that I had to do something. I had tests done. MRI's MRA's CT's. Nothin. Sometime in May 2009, the dizziness faded and was replaced with pain. It was sort of blah at first, like a dull ache. Then it got really bad. It almost felt like the worst migraine of your life but different.

The pain is disabling and totally random. It always starts out really, really bad in the morning. It takes nearly four to five hours to wear off, if it does. Sometimes it can last for days without a single break. Then for the rest of the day it is like a light switch. It flips on and then within five minutes I better get to a bed or flat surface because all hell is about to break loose. It goes on and off during the day at random for no reason at all. It might last for five minutes, five hours, or take me out the rest of the day. I have tried my darnest to make sense of the timing but I can’t come up with anything.

Basically, It feels like someone is slowing sawing into your C2 vertebrae area (on the left side for me) with a serrated blade. Then it starts to feel like someone is chopping your neck with an axe. Then the pain in the eye starts, feeling like someone is stabbing your eye over and over again with an ice pick. My scalp becomes sore and painful to even touch. Every hair on my head feels like it is burning. I get hypersensitive to light and sound just like a migraine. I have to immediately lay in a cold dark room. My teeth on that side start to hurt when it gets really bad. My face feels swollen and it feels like I am bleeding all down my face, like I have been beat with a baseball bat. It is so bad, SOOO bad. I have never had a pain that could totally take me OUT before. There is no fighting it, not at all. I am not saying anything to others who have other pains, but I have had quite a lot in my small amount of years. It seems like you can almost "ignore?" well not ignore, more like put the (broken arm pain) on the side burner while you watch TV or something? Does that make sense? It still is terrible and unbearable but you can mentally do something else at the same time. You can not do that with this. You can not think. It is like someone is screaming in your face with a bullhorn and the gears in your head won’t even budge. It’s insane. I have even considered ******* it is so bad. Maybe god would forgive me because he would understand that I just couldn’t take it anymore?

Nobody understands. I look totally normal when this is occurring, except for the look on my face of course. Everyone kinda treats you like "yeah right" it’s sooo bad, uh hu. I am sure my boss thinks I am making the whole thing up. I even had one girl at work tell me, "well I get headaches all the time and I still come to work!" HA! turn

The doctors put me on 60mg Norco and 3600mg Ibuprofen and then later 800mg Nuerontin. They just dull the pain. It takes the edge off sometimes, that’s about all. I have seen a family doctor, 4 pain management doctors, 3 neurologist, 2 neurosurgeons, 2 spine specialist, a psychiatrist, a chiropractor, 2 physical therapist, and even a dentist (don't ask) I have had 3 occipital nerve blocks, 3 c2 facet blocks, a c2 nerve burning, and still the pain persists.

To tell you the truth, I don't think these doctors know what the frack they are talking about. What the hell? I thought this is the 21st century? Modern medicine? Blah. What a joke! I am certainly not impressed. They can't even make up their mind on a diagnosis, let alone a cure.

Here is the real quick run-down on what this has done to my life, so I don't have to whine and complain too much about it:

-I am on family medical leave (unpaid) I can work when I can basically, which has not been a lot

-Because of the previous I am missing 15,000 of wages for the last year or so

-Our house is in foreclosure because of that

-Our cars are in Jeopardy of being repossessed

-Some of my family won't talk to me anymore because they think I am a fraud

-My boss hates me now but can not fire me because of the FMLA

-My wife and I are very close to getting a divorce over finances caused by this


I need help. If I can't fix myself soon then I might as well just throw in the towel with my life.

please. If anyone out there knows what to do, please, tell me.

I will try anything. I don't care if I have to fly to China and have some acupuncture with dragon whiskers done or something, I will do it.

Thanks for reading,


U can reach me at as well.

Post Edited By Moderator (Dani Henson) : 7/4/2010 10:12:31 AM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 914
   Posted 7/4/2010 3:09 AM (GMT -6)   
WOW man JAY thats a lot brother , but men have walked out of deeper valleys and you can too .I would suggest making a list most important to least , and accomplish one thing minimum every day , maybe get counseling for you and your wife .You want to be solidly together to face this . Your pain sounds incredibly severe , a pain clinic and pain therapist is in order here .One to help your back the other your head and the emotional aspects of the related stress your facing . Don't look at the whole picture or you'll be overwhelmed , just pick one of those list items and do that as best you can .Search your city and state for Pain clinics , they specialize in chronic and severe pain , You can also come here for advise and support from folks who know what its like . Good Luck Brother and keep us posted here . Mikel

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 856
   Posted 7/4/2010 3:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi. I'm Flower. Wow. That is terrible! Mikel is right. I think you should go to a PM doctor--maybe an anesthesiologistor a physiatrist. Physiatrists work with you to get you to function better. Of course you want a diagnosis. I totally get that. A close friend of mine has severe headache pain and cannot get a diagnosis and has been to countless doctors and through tons of treatment. He got to the point now where he can function, even though he can't work.

Mikel is right. Plan to do one or two things a day. Make a list. That's how my physical therapist got me to be able to function better. Knowing that I had two little things to do motivated me, and it felt good to cross them off when I was done.

I would definitely find a anesthesiologist or physiatrist. There are a lot of types of pain management doctors, and some seem to like to give shots and no/little medication, but some take a more balanced approach. Shots do work for a lot of people though, but not for me.

I'm so sorry that all of this happened to you. Everyone here is really supportive and since everyone has different experiences, I get really great advice/support here and I'm sure that others will have more suggestions on what to do next.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 7/4/2010 10:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Have you been to see a chiropractor? If not you might want to try to find a good one and see what s/he has to say.

I used to suffer from some debilitating headaches, much like you describe, when I was a kid and none of the traditional doctors could do a thing about it. I finally was taken to see a chiropractor that came highly recommended by family friends and after a lot of Xrays and an exam like I had never had before he came to the conclusion that I had some vertebrae that was misaligned. It took a few months of him working with my neck to get everything straightened out and to get the muscles conditioned to keep it straightened out but I stopped having those headaches. In fact I have no had one of those headaches in 25 years.

I am not a doctor and my only medical training is from the school of hard knocks and some advanced 1st aid courses I have taken. I just have a feeling, based on your story that what has happened is that you injured your neck and caused some misalignment of the vertebrae and when your neck "healed" it did not heal properly and from time to time your neck joints are sliding a little more out of whack and/or you are getting swelling in the surrounding tissue that is knocking you on your butt.

I am not saying that this is your problem, or saying that chiropractic treatment will work for you. All I am saying is that it is worth a shot or at least worth thinking about. Be sure to ask around though. Don't just go to the first one you find in the yellow pages. Like any "professional" there are good ones and there are ones who are not so good.

Regardless if you decide to give a chiro a try I suggest you sit down and write out what happened, what is happening, etc and take that with you. Make notes of when these headaches occur, what you were doing before they happened, what seems to help them, make them worse, etc. Do it like a diary/journal each time. Even if you decide not to go to the chiropractor, the journal may help you or some doctor figure out triggers, patterns, etc.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 663
   Posted 7/4/2010 10:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Jay,

I wanted to welcome you to our family. Everyone is great here and as I see Mikel and Flower already gave you great advise. I don't have anything to add except keep posting, you will get alot of support here. Take care.
Gentle Hugs,
Fibromyalgia, Chronic daily headaches, Migraine disorder (with and without aura), GERD, High blood pressure, Depression and Anxiety
Oxycontin, Flexeril as needed, Lopressor, Lexapro, Omeprazole, Clonazepam as needed, Promethazine as needed for nausea from migraines

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 7/4/2010 11:57 AM (GMT -6)   
   Dear Jay,
     Good morning *warm hugg* I am so very glad you posted an introduction. I am very happy to have you join us here. How are you feeling this morning? I'm pretty gosh darn tired myself, but I hate attempting to sleep each night. Do you have planns for today? I dont have much planned myself, so it will be a quiet relaxing day.
     After reading your introduction all I can think is... Gosh, I am sorry for everything you are going through.
     I know you have been through alot of doctors, but it is important that you find one you trust and stick with him/her. That way you can have your neck monitored and most importantly have the most up todate testing. When doctors arnt sure, I think best thing you can do as a patient is stick with one who will document EVERYTHING. All the pain changes, update MRIs, perodic blood work, all of it. You never know if you will meet a doctor who will be able to fit all the peices of the puzzle together, so to speak. Cannot fit the peices together if you don't have the important information.
    One thing I think you might want to try is a headache center or even a teaching hispital. Though, I imagine by now you are pretty fed up with doctors and hospitals. I am so sorry for everything you have had to endure for nearly 2 years now. You are a very caring person and it really isnt fair atall that you have had your slowly stripped away. *warm hugg*
     I wish that the circumstances around your pain wernt true for all of us... but they are. Most of us did eventually loose our jobs. I lost my job eventually and I sure miss my nice quiet accounting job. Where my biggest complaint was boring thursdays and fridays. *sigh* It was quite a blow to our finances. No more loans, credit cards, car loans. Now everything is saved for and paid in full. No more loan, no more credit cards. Used cars are paid for in cash (after saving forever for all major purchases).... I learned how to cook and make EVERYTHING by hand now. Everything was cut to bare minimum. And still we are struggling. ... I am getting off track though, sorry...
     The way that your family and friends are treating you is very normal. I know how that sounds but hear me out. All of us have lost friends or family members or both. Especially if you are someone that others depended on. When you can no longer support people, or guide them... they become angry. They want to go back to having you do it all for them. It is an awfull truth. What these types of people do, when angry, cuts deep. Cuts very deep. I can tell you are the kind of person who has helped and supported EVERYONE around you. But, it is time to begin to surround yourself with people who care for you as who you are. Who accept who you are and ask nothing more in return but for you to be yourself. I know it is hard when you miss the friendships you once had. I know it is hard realize they wernt anywhere near as devoted to you, as you were to them. But, it is time to change. Time to change everything about your life so that you can make everything in your life more comfortable for youself. Everything. Your environment, your friendships, support group, all of it. And here is why.. You will never feel as good as you do today, tomorrow. You will never feel as good as you do tomorrow the next day. It is a sad fact when dealing with chronic conditions. You will get worse. So, the question friend, is what are you going to do to make sure everything around you as comfortable as possible?
     I am so sorry that you have such a tremendous strain on your marriage right now. I once heard a statistic that the number one cause of marital arguments start over finances? I wonder if that is true? I want to really really encourage you to seek the assistance of a pain psychologist.(sorry I wont bring it up again, promise! *hugg*) I know I sound terrible repeating myself. They arnt just for you. When you get to a certian point with the psychologist, then he/she will begin to include your spouse / family. That is important too because you are a completly new person now. She needs to get to know you and you need to get to know her all over again. You are NOT the same person you were. Never will be. It is important that you get comfortable with youself and begin to experince life and relationships as the new "you". I wish we didnt change, I really do. ... We do though. So, it is important that we begin to re shape our lives instead of holding on to a ghost of who we once were. We arnt those people anymore.
     I hope you can find a few moments to rest today. I can imagine you are probably pretty exhausted before 10am each day. Please stay strong friend. Know you are in our hearts and prayers here!!
*warm hugg*
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
Chronic Pain Moderator

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 7/4/2010 12:30 PM (GMT -6)   
First of all nice to meet you but sure wish it was under better circumstance other than
chronic pain, sorry about the car accident...
I think the others have given you some good advise and I just wanted to point out
that not all mri's pick up on things maybe go back to one of the doctors you've seen
and ask about a contrast mri as those can show more, also, I would suggest finding a good
pain management psychologist, then maybe going to a doctor that specializes with Migraines,
migraines are very very real and can be extremely painful, and maybe look into this
at this point. Whatever you choose to do, there are website for spousal support as your wife might need
an outlet for this, she's been with you on everything and believes in you, but
she's probably at a why is this happening point, too...Chronic pain affects the whole family
and your relatives don't know what to do cause they can't see your chronic pain, a
broken arm can gain sympathy cause you can see a cast but with chronic pain you can't see
it, so that makes it so much harder for other to understand, sure hope this helps...
Good luck in what you choose to do, remember we are not doctors, but we can offer up
healing hugz to you
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc (Lower Lumbar S1-L3 and Cervical C5,C6, C8 and T1), Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's, Ocular Migraines, mild carpel tunnel, ect.... "Would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...


Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 3193
   Posted 7/4/2010 4:44 PM (GMT -6)   

I'm so sorry for your pain, and the impact it has had on all areas of your life. Everyone has already said the majority of what I would have said to you - about finding a good pain clinic, in particular. It took me about 5 years, many horrible experiences, tons of doctors/clinics/etc and a ton of hard work to finally find a doctor/pain clinic that appropriately treated my pain - through medication, different injections, physical therapy/message and so forth. The pain is not gone, but it doesn't completely rule my life like it did before.

Most of here really understand what it's like to have life be completely changed due to health and pain issues. So, I encourage you to keep posting and reaching out to others here, because we really do understand. Take care, Jay, and look forward to getting to know you better...

Main Health Problems: Dysautonomia/POTS; CFS/Fibromyalgia; Severe Chronic Hypertension; Hypothyroidism; Hypoadrenalism; Mixed (Obstructive/Central) Sleep Apnea - on Auto BiPap; Depression/Anxiety; Severe Vitamin D Deficiency

Pain Issues: Cervical/Thoracic back pain (they called it DDD...but I don't know); migraines; carpal tunnel syndrome; widespread joint/muscle pain, nerve pain in hands/arms/feet; Future Plans: Intrathecal Pain Pump; already completed trial (Sept, 2008); awaiting my decision for implantation...

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16776
   Posted 7/4/2010 4:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Gopurdue and welcome to Healing Well's chronic pain forum. I am sorry that you have to be here but glad that you found this forum. One thing you will find here is everyone here suffers with some sort of pain.  Everyone here has a story to tell as to what brought them to this forum. It is always disturbing to hear of the young people being stricken with such a miserable condition. But you will find by coming here that you are not alone and that can mean the world to a person. We do have members here your age and they will pop on in time. With it being a holiday weekend things are a little slow.
From looking at the medical side of things you have gone the gambit and ended up up empty handed. This happens more than you realize. All drs are not created equal that is for sure. I am not sure where you live, but you may want to consider going to a teaching hospital if you have one within any distance of your home. The teaching hospitals are different in many ways. With the drs at those places you are not dealing with the usual dr ego thing that most have. So many of these drs, their egos are bigger than life and get in the way of so many things. Please give this some consideration. In the event you decide to do this, you will need all of the films of your xrays like the MRI, MRA and Ct Scans. These films need to go with you to the appt if you decide this is something you want to do. The drs there can review the films and may see something no one else did. Misread xrays are not uncommon. They will not be interested in plain film xrays but the others yes. In many ways you do describe a migraine type headache. But, as one of the other members said, none of us are drs here. We all pretty much speak from our own personal experiences. I was treated once for a neck injury from an auto accident and traditional medicine was of no help. I finally agreed to accupuncture because the pain was just incredible. Nine treatments and I was pain free. Three months of meds & PT did not touch it. This was also the Chinese method a dr here learned. He saved me a ton of grief and many others have been helped with pain this way too.
Depression is another animal that comes along with CP for some reason, they seem to go hand in hand. If you are not being treated for depression you may want to give this some great consideration. I can assure you, only the strong survive CP, it is not a sign of weaknss at all. Not just anyone can walk a day in our shoes. It is a very difficult life to live but it can be done. If you have insurance that will pay for professional counseling by all means give this a great bit of consideration. Whether it be a psychologist that treats CP or one that has treated many with CP it can be co-pay money well spent. I would have never survived without the one I saw, she was wonderful. I have many different health issues and she was great. As far as your marriage is concerned, get help there too. CP can destroy a person if they are not careful, you just have to pick and choose your battles carefully. Don't ever try to fix it all in one day, you are setting yourself up for failure going down that road. As someone else mentioned, deal with what is the most imporant and the other stuff with fall in line.
CP has so many different faces and it can take away so many aspects of our lives.  Any time a person has a life altering experience such as CP, you will grieve the loss of so much. It can be anything from loss of financial security, friends, and family to just name a few. Friends and family as a rule do not understand CP because most of the time we look as usual self. Its not like we have a disfiguring thing happening here. The other side of the token is if we don't understand it, how can anyone else either.
I do hope that you can get some help with your situation. Another thing I would like to mention is we have a section here at the top called CP101, please check into it when you have a chance. There is a wealth of information there and some may apply to you. We so ask all members to read the forum rules as we all need to be rowing this boat in the same direction. We have to keep in mind this is a family oriented site. Please keep posting and letting us know how you are coming along.

crohns disease dx 2002 & small bowel resection, still looking for remission whatever that is, chronic pain 22 yrs, added ulcerative colitis 6-05 to the mix, high blood pressure 28 yrs, aortic heart valve insuffiency, depression, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis lumbar spine, scoliosis lumbar spine, peripheral neuropathy hands & feet, COPD & on oxygen therapy, lupus & psoriasis and psoratic arthritis. Several other health issues just not enough room to list it all. Too many surgeries to list and too many medications to list. Currently on 17 different daily medications. Intrathecal pain pump implanted June 05.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 329
   Posted 7/4/2010 7:28 PM (GMT -6)   

You described exactly what my neck does when it decides to make my life !@$@#. Its rough and there is very little that helps it. Sometimes icing it then heat then ice will break the cycle but sometimes not. I also use Tiger Balm and Biofreeze to help bring it down a notch or two. Lidocaine patches sometimes help but are a lot of $$ for a Rx of them. Try asking them for an emergacy Rx of torodol, its the med most ER's give you and you can only take it for 5 days but it is often just enough to stop my neck from driving me to desperate acts.

I wish I had a magical cure for this because it truly is a nightmare. Keep plugging away and find a pain doc thats williing to help.
Take care and please feel free to email me.


Hysterectomy at 25 : Fell down stairs 3 days after4 laproscopic surgeries since 24

Cervical Stenosis between C 2 and C6 and two buldging disks located C2/3 and C4/5

Meds - Embeda 20mg 2x per day: Dilaudid 2-4 mg every 4-6hrs::Amrix 15mg 1x day: Pristiq 50mg 1x day


In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children. The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted. The result is unruly children and childish adults. ~Thomas Szasz 

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