28 minutes till Im 50.....Im so bummed

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 605
   Posted 7/9/2010 3:24 AM (GMT -6)   
shocked   shocked shocked I cant believe Im that old.  Where did the time go?  I had wanted to  be down to my old weight and I had wanted to be in the best health of my life by the time I turned 50.  Looks like fibro and a ton of other things decided to play a mean trick on me.  Im going to my daughters house tomorrow so I can be with my grandkids.  They always cheer me up and Im going to show them that this old granny isnt too old to play with them.  I dont care if I end up tired and sore.  It seems like I am always saying no to playing with them or later but later never works out either.  Some things cant wait because you never know what will happen .  I just hope I dont decide to drop dead while Im there.  That is something I dont ever want to happen.  I had my last stroke while I was there when my daughter had surgery.  I was taking care of the kids and I woke up not being able to speak or write,very frightning but that wasnt the big one,still waiting on that to happen.  If I could just make Medicaid understand how much I want to live so I can grow old with my grandchildren smhair why do rules have to make me worry so,its just not fair.  Im just a peasley poor person,just a number,someone that they can say"so sorry,we dont cover that surgery, we know that it could save your life but too bad so sad.  Just makes me so mad and I have made the calls to just about everyone that could help me but I get the same reply that we're sorry we cant help you.  But I bet if I was someone famous, that would make a good story.  Oh well(sigh) I will get to see the kids and that will take my mind off the things that keep me up all night.  Take care everyone.  I care about you and want the best for each and every one of you.

Mom of one gramma to 4 lover to One
Fibromyalgia,IBS,Stroke x3,endometriosis,Diabetes type 2,neuropathic pain,high blood pressure,severe nausea,atrophy,chronic pain,over 30 surgeries,torn hip joint,hypoglycymic

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 7/9/2010 4:17 AM (GMT -6)   
I understand how you feel...and I think many, if not all of us do.

Have a Happy Birthday and a great day with the grand kids.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 974
   Posted 7/9/2010 5:35 AM (GMT -6)   

Hope you have a good day for the big "50".  I'm 53 now and like you never thought my body would have been in the shape it was when I turned 50.  Now I'm more scarred of turning 60 because the arthritis in my spine just keeps getting worse but there is not much you can do to stop bone spurs from forming. 

I know what you mean about being rich.  I used to like watching HGTV alot but now when they have shows on where people spend $90,000 to update their backyards or bathrooms I just can't understand it.  While waiting for SSDI I have to worry about having enough money to cover my co-pays for doctors and meds while still having money for utilities.  Just doesn't seem fair.  I hope you can get the mess settled with medicaid.

"Happy Birthday"

DDD, osteoarthritis, facet syndrome, fusion surgeries C-5/7 & L-4/5 both in 2006, torn meniscus surgeries left knee 2000 & 2002, buldging disc L-2/3, fibromyalgia, polymyalgia rheumatica

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 7/9/2010 7:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Someday maybe someone will get this fixed...
til then...
Happy Birthday and enjoy the time with the grandkids, maybe bake cookies with them....
healing hugz
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc (Lower Lumbar S1-L3 and Cervical C5,C6, C8 and T1), Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's, Ocular Migraines, mild carpel tunnel, ect.... "Would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...


Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 7/9/2010 10:12 AM (GMT -6)   
Happy birthday!!! I know what you ae going thru, I will be hitting the big 5 0 the 14th, and I am feeling the same way. I was planning a "bash" for my b-day, but my sister inlaw want me to come to her house in CA, and join her girls b-day. It is only 2 days apart. She is begging to come. I am thinking about I am hoping the grand kids can meet us there. That in it self will make the trip worth it pain and all. I am looking at it as that I am hitting a mile stone. I was not even suppose to been born alive let alone make it to 50.

Happy birthday!!!!

C-5& C-6 disk herniated on to spinal cord, nerve damage both feet, L-4, L-5, S-1, C-4, C-5, Fibromyalgia, Ostero arthritis in both hands,bursitis in both hips,bone spurs in back and wrist, carpal tunnel both wrist,neurofibromatosis, tumors, bi-polar and more
norco 7.5, baclofen, for pain, can't take anti-imflamatory, and a ton more for other medical issues.
way to many surgery to list!!!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 7/9/2010 10:23 AM (GMT -6)   
Karen, I want to wish you the very best birthday ever! I know you're disappointed that things aren't the way you want them right now (health issues, etc.), but you have been given a wonderful gift of grandchildren and family who love you, and there's not a whole lot more in life that's more precious.

I'm a firm believer in finding the positives in life and I hope you are too. I just can't waste my energy on negative thinking or feeling sorry for myself. It doesn't make me feel any better, and it generally just wears me out. I'd rather put that energy to good use, like you...playing with my grandson, sharing a special moment with family...simple pleasures for a simple life.

I hope that you're able to sit down today for a few quiet moments, and reflect on all the beautiful things in your life. To me, 50 is an age of new beginnings and fresh starts (I'll be there in 2 years) so perhaps you'll discover the same thing. Happy Birthday Karen - here's an Irish blessing for you:

May troubles be less and blessings be more
and nothing but happiness come to your door
And may you have luck, wherever you go
your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow
May winds be at your back and sun be overhead
May friends be at your side wherever you are led

Conditions: Fibromyalgia, Severe Myofascial Pain, Chronic Pelvic Pain (with permanent muscle damage), Femoroacetabular Impingement (CAM and Pincer), Reynauds, IBS, Surgical Adhesions, Ophthalmic Migraines, Severe Hot Flashes (both Surgical Menopause and medication related), plus physically unable to vomit due to the Nissen, and I have extremely tiny veins with a lot of scar tissue...a joy when it comes to having to give blood or get an IV started

Surgeries: Appendix, Uterus, Nissen Fundoplication for GERD, Left Ovary, Gallbladder, Right Ovary, TVT

Medications: Oxycontin, Cesamet, Tramacet, Cymbalta, Flexeril and Clonidine plus Laxaday, Vitamin D and a Multi-Vitamin daily

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 7/9/2010 10:43 AM (GMT -6)   
  Dear Karen,
     Good morning *hugg* it is always good to hear from you. I am so sorry you are having a down-in-the-dumps day. What horrible timing! I do hope you are able to enjoy your birthday somewhat. Love those grand babies!! Please, know you are in our hearts and prayers!!!
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
Chronic Pain Moderator

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 2265
   Posted 7/9/2010 11:09 AM (GMT -6)   
Happy Birthday Karen.  I hope you're having a good day with the least amount of pain as possible.  I've got 5 years to go myself.
love and hugs
Dx:  ddd, spinal stenosis, bone spurs, hypothyroidism, typeII diabetes, asthma, allergies, high blood pressure, polycystic ovary syndrome, PTSD, depression, anxiety

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 7/9/2010 2:23 PM (GMT -6)   
It's good to see you post again! I know sometimes saying "Happy" Birthday when we don't feel very "happy" seems insensitive, so let me just say I wish you the best Birthday possible! And if that means going to California by all means you go girl!

I've got a decade on you, and I think many of us that are older have those thoughts that life isn't what we expected it to be. I play a tennis match in my head knowing that I have to choose to focus on what is possible, what I can do, rather than what I can't, and being angry over what's been lost. Maybe someday I'll win the match by making peace with things so that I can choose more easily to do what I can, and just take it one day at a time.

I hope you have a peaceful birthday in your heart!



solar powered
Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 538
   Posted 7/9/2010 3:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Karen, I'm sorry that you are feeling so down about turning 50. I made that turn myself in January. I find it hard to believe that I'm really that "old" because I sure don't feel smart or wise enough to be. Anyway considering all the life-threatening things you have gone through, I would think turning 50 is actually a good thing since the other possibilities aren't. I hope you can find a way to make your birthday uplifting and a celebration of life. It's so precious. Take care, Lisa
If I can laugh at it, I can live with it.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 605
   Posted 7/10/2010 1:53 AM (GMT -6)   
Yeah !!! it was a good day today. I went to my daughters and saw all the kids and they gave me homemade cards and showered me with kisses !!. The only trouble I got into was when there mom wanted to take a walk to get the mail and it was about 95 degees outside but the kids wanted me to go so I went. The problem was the mail boxs are about a mile and a half each way (they live out in the country). I started getting overheated,my face got all red and I had massive amounts of sweat pouring off me. I about bit it on the rocks everywhere and Jakob took me by the hand and said"its ok if you have walk slow Grandma,we can go as slow as you need to" right there Igot the energy to get back home were I could cool of. We had lunch together,all sitting together at the table and I played some games and did the girls fingernails and even shot Jakobs new bow and arrows(he bought them himself even though they cost over 30 dollars)I was proud of him,he's all boy. I told them no tears when I went to leave and told them I would see them next saturday when I had my party. They kept telling me I was going to be surprized. I got home right before Jay did and listened to the phone messages and guess what? this year all my brothers had called to say Happy Birthday(they all forgot last year) And my brother whom I hardly see said he was coming tomorrow with my brother Randy and would be here also on the 17th to. Randy finally agreed to share my birthday since his B day is a day after they are celebrating mine. My daughter(barbarann) will be making Randy a cake too, a little smaller but Im sure it will be nice(that girl makes a mean cake!!) she told me she had come hear and googled my past posts and saw all the times she had made me cry and all the rotten things I had said about her. I felt like she was going somewhere where I could tell all my feelings to but after she had read my past posts hopefully she finally got it,is specially when I had takin care of her when she had surgery and I had another stroke when I was at her house and still went back there for another week because I had promised no matter how badly she was treating everybody she still needed me. And we didnt fight once today!! I know a miracle huh? so everything turned out today and Jayson gave me a beautiful card. We didnt have much money this year with him being out of work for awhile. I love you guys ya know? I dont always post but I am always reading and I see what you all go through on a daily basis. I wish I could take it all away but I dont have a crystal ball,what I can do is post more and make an effort to be more supportive. Sometimes all we have is words and they can be so powerful,they make you feel like you are being hugged in person. Take care and have a nice night(once it cools down lol).

Mom of one gramma to 4 lover to One
Fibromyalgia,IBS,Stroke x3,endometriosis,Diabetes type 2,neuropathic pain,high blood pressure,severe nausea,atrophy,chronic pain,over 30 surgeries,torn hip joint,hypoglycymic

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16765
   Posted 7/10/2010 2:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Karen a belated very Happy Birthday to you gal. I am so happy the 50th was not all that traumatic for you. Fifty was a breeze for me but for some reason 40 was my killer, I was all down, just wanted to forget the day, usually, I do not react that way. I am always glad I made it another year so they never bother me. I don't think it can get any better than being with the grands either and those home made cards are priceless. My 5 yr old grand son now makes my cards and I keep all of his things like that in a large pizza box so it doesn't get messed up. I also write the date on the back of everything too.

Take care & keep posting.

crohns disease dx 2002 & small bowel resection, still looking for remission whatever that is, chronic pain 22 yrs, added ulcerative colitis 6-05 to the mix, high blood pressure 28 yrs, aortic heart valve insuffiency, depression, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis lumbar spine, scoliosis lumbar spine, peripheral neuropathy hands & feet, COPD & on oxygen therapy, lupus & psoriasis and psoratic arthritis. Several other health issues just not enough room to list it all. Too many surgeries to list and too many medications to list. Currently on 17 different daily medications. Intrathecal pain pump implanted June 05.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 856
   Posted 7/10/2010 3:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Happy Belated Birthday!!!


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