Karen, I want to wish you the very best birthday ever! I know you're disappointed that things aren't the way you want them right now (health issues, etc.), but you have been given a wonderful gift of grandchildren and family who love you, and there's not a whole lot more in life that's more precious.
I'm a firm believer in finding the positives in life and I hope you are too. I just can't waste my energy on negative thinking or feeling sorry for myself. It doesn't make me feel any better, and it generally just wears me out. I'd rather put that energy to good use, like you...playing with my grandson, sharing a special moment with family...simple pleasures for a simple life.
I hope that you're able to sit down today for a few quiet moments, and reflect on all the beautiful things in your life. To me, 50 is an age of new beginnings and fresh starts (I'll be there in 2 years) so perhaps you'll discover the same thing. Happy Birthday Karen - here's an Irish blessing for you:
May troubles be less and blessings be more
and nothing but happiness come to your door
And may you have luck, wherever you go
your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow
May winds be at your back and sun be overhead
May friends be at your side wherever you are led
Conditions: Fibromyalgia, Severe Myofascial Pain, Chronic Pelvic Pain (with permanent muscle damage), Femoroacetabular Impingement (CAM and Pincer), Reynauds, IBS, Surgical Adhesions, Ophthalmic Migraines, Severe Hot Flashes (both Surgical Menopause and medication related), plus physically unable to vomit due to the Nissen, and I have extremely tiny veins with a lot of scar tissue...a joy when it comes to having to give blood or get an IV started
Surgeries: Appendix, Uterus, Nissen Fundoplication for GERD, Left Ovary, Gallbladder, Right Ovary, TVT
Medications: Oxycontin, Cesamet, Tramacet, Cymbalta, Flexeril and Clonidine plus Laxaday, Vitamin D and a Multi-Vitamin daily