So sorry you are having a bad day. I've spent many moments, too, over the years - wondering "why?". I still don't know the answer! I admire that you are trying to readjust your thinking and just moving towards acceptance of living with CP. That being said, there are still going to be bad days, I'm afraid... days were it just seems so unfair, the frustration gets to you or whatever. At least that's how it is for me. I'll go for many days, sometimes, and then - BOOM. I'll have a bad day or two where I'm angry that I have so many health issues and pain. Well, actually - I just get more sad and depressed. It's just so depressing to have constant, unrelenting pain and be so limited in what we do in life.
Suzane, I know you haven't had great success w/ most narcotic meds, right? But a couple of questions - do you get ANY relief from IV pain medications? I've had meningitis twice (I'm a mess, and have had everything known to man, I swear)... and that is always what I hold as my "10" on the pain scale (with migraine pain, being right underneath there). Anyway, it takes a lot of drugs to dull my pain - but usually IV Dilaudid, with a little something for nausea and some IV fluids, will bring my pain levels down. It's not long-lasting, or a permanent solution by any means (especially when you have 24/7 pain).... but at least you'd get some relief. Have you ever tried this, when you are at your worst?
I know you've tried just about everything...so I know I'm probably grasping at straws. I just keep thinking there's gotta be something out there that can help you - even if it's a temporary help.
You are in my daily prayers, Suzane. Always. I'll pray that you'll get some sleep tonight, that you'll have a decrease in pain and nausea and that tomorrow is a much better day for you. But keep reaching out and let us know how you are doing.
Main Health Issues: Dysautonomia/POTS; CFS/Fibro; Chronic Hypertension; Hypothyroidism and Hypoadrenalism; Mixed Sleep Apnea (on BiPap); Depression/Anxiety; Vitamin D Deficiency.
Pain Issues: MANY; multiple back issues (cervical/thoracic); migraines; severe carpal tunnel syndrome; widespread joint/muscle pain; nerve pain in hands/arms/feet. Treatments - multiple meds; injections; nerve blocks; have had intrathecal pain pump trial (successful, w/ Dilaudid); eventually will have it permanently implanted.
MAJOR surprise - Pregnant, w/ twin little girls (after six boys). Due Sept, 2010. Praying they are healthy. YES, you can have chronic pain AND have a successful pregnancy - not easy, but it can be done. :)